I Want A Baby!

[forza2]

Get a puppy for a while and take care of it, if you you see you can handle it then if you and your boy friend want a baby I say go for it, but please dont surprise your BF with a baby. One of my friends went through that, the GF made holes in his condoms and he's not happy.

 

Puppys are not comparable to babies, but its a start

[sara_0562]

Thanks for the advice everyone!

 

I am trying to see where you all are coming from and most of it makes sense, but in my head it still doesn't matter.

 

I dont like animals at all! I hate them passionatly but thats another story, so that idea is out of the question.

 

Im beginning to think that maybe i have some serious issues. I feel like theres nothing thats going to stop me from getting pregnant. I think it might have something to do with that fact that there has always been drama and conflict in my life. But forthe past year everything has been some what normak for the first time in my life and i feel like i dont know how to deal with "normal". I find myself wanting things to go wrong cause i know how to deal with stress and cant deal with calm. I dont know if anyone understands what im saying but it seems to be my pattern on thinking....maybe thats why i want a baby so bad....

[Hope75]

This is an excellent post.

 

Sara, it seems the only person you are thinking of right now is YOU.

 

Not about the baby, not about your bf, just YOU.

 

Your bf isn't ready for a baby. Where do his feelings come into consideration here? Would you be telling him that you are planning for a baby, or would you simply 'trick' him into a pregnancy?

[forza2]

Do take advantage of your father's new found wealth, finish the school then go for it

 

I know exactly what you're talking about. My father's business was good then his partner passed away and he was in debt to IRS I'm talking about millions of dollars and that all happened when I finished high school. I had to move back to my parents' house and help them pay the bills and I was under alotta stress. After 4 years now things are getting better, and I'm getting ready to move out again as I already got back to school. It is kinda hard for me to adapt to the "Normal" life, but I found hobbies which can help. For example I got a good car and I drive it to its limits (I'm a safe driver). Try finding something exciting to do, finish school and sure, have your baby. Might as well have 2, 3, 4, 5, or 6... lol

 

jk, start with one

 

Best of luck to you, your BF and your family

[Batya33]

So, let's see - would you advise a child of yours to make decisions based on looking for drama and conflict in his/her life? Is that the kind of role model you want to be? It's fine if you want things to go wrong and do something that damages your future - that just affects you -- but to get a child involved and damage a child? How would you feel if that happened to one of the children you take care of in day care?

 

Why not do this - take the next 3 years to get the help you need - find a good therapist, learn how to deal with "normalcy" in a positive and productive way, work on your studies. Then, when you are stable and healthy perhaps you will have or find a man in your life who is similarly healthy and stable and wants to get married and start a family.

 

Your posts continue to be focused on "me me me" - mommies can almost never be focused on "me" much less "me me me."

[bigredvick]

yes a ideal relationship for a child is the ffirst thing you should worry about.

[redrose85]

Sara- I know how you feel. For the past 3 years or more, my life was pretty dramatic, lots of turmoil and I felt unloved and I wanted a child in my life so badly, to make me feel somewhat normal. I still haven't worked through all of that, but I now recognize why I wanted a child so badly at 18-19. I'm 21 now, and still really want a baby, but I know that it would be wrong at this point. I'm about to start school, work full time, and finally just got a nice little place of my own, and am in a stable relationship.We have dreams and goals together, and I now know that it is worth the wait to have our dreams come true.

 

I feel that I owe it to my future children to go to school, get a career, and be stable, and hopefully married, so that I can provide as nice a life as I can for them. I know it is hard, and sometimes it's even torturous. I would love to be pregnant, and be a mommy, and I know that right now, I am emotionally and physically ready, but I know that if we were to take that step now, it would be a struggle, and I have seen so many people struggle like that, and I know I deserve better. You deserve better too, and so do your future children, Sara. Just a q, what would you do if you accidentally got pregnant? I'm still not sure what I would do, I don't think I could have an abortion, it would probably eat me up inside for the rest of my life.

[rikka]

Hi Sara, if I may, I would like to give a personal analogy. I am 25, my bestfriend had her first child at 19 (she is now a proud mother of 3). We had a delightful heartfelt chat the other day. I told her how much I have envied her and what she has for the past 2 years or so. how I would willingly quit grad school to get married and have a family. She shocked me by saying she has felt the same way. She said she has been with me and watched me grow and experience a "normal" life of a 20-something. I have done so many things that she has not and will not have a chance to do. She realizes that her situation resulted in her missing "milestones" of her life.

 

Don't get me wrong, she loves her children, she has no regrets about her life or her choices, but she does acknowledge that there are things that she missed out on, and sometimes wishes she didn't.

 

Now for another personal story. My sister just had her first child. She is 26 years old. Her and her husband have been married for 5 years and both have/had well paying jobs. Parenthood slammed them both in the face. I have been watching them, and somedays I am glad that I get to kiss my neice goodnight and leave. Watching toddlers for a day/half a day is NOTHING compared to parenthood. (thankfully my little sister realized that - up until recently she was like you).

 

Listen to the advice of the women (and men) of this board. There is nothing wrong with you, I just don't think you are looking at the situation in a mature fashion. It seems like there are some alterior motives behind this desire, and that is not good.

[glegend]

My girlfriend was saying the same thing to me "lets have a baby lets have a baby" only difference is we've been going out for 5 years (since grade 17) and we are both 17 years old high school student. The people of enotalone were able to help me help her. What I suggest from my experience is to wait abit longer. Until you are finished university and working at least for one year, and after you have a steady boyfriend who could possibly be your husband and then maybe get married first and have a baby or at least engaged and then habe a baby.

[Hope75]

My girlfriend was saying the same thing to me "lets have a baby lets have a baby" only difference is we've been going out for 5 years (since grade 17) and we are both 17 years old high school student. The people of enotalone were able to help me help her. What I suggest from my experience is to wait abit longer. Until you are finished university and working at least for one year, and after you have a steady boyfriend who could possibly be your husband and then maybe get married first and have a baby or at least engaged and then habe a baby.

 

Excellent post, glegend.

 

So glad to hear you thinking like that- in the end you and your girlfriend will be better prepared to raise a child when you have all your ducks lined in a row.