Some Variations of Old Rules

[William55]

CHANGING THEM

He/She will not leave OP because of you. He/She will leave if and when they are disenchanted with OP.

 

IMAGINATION

Your vision of He/She together is far more dramatic than their reality.

 

PLEADING

He/She are either repulsed, angered or guilt ridden over any pleading, crying or bargining you engage in.

 

MOVING ON

Every day you live vicariously thru He/She, you lose one day of healing yourself.

 

WORSHIPING IDOLS

Do not build Alters, magnify beauty/strength, worship or other wise idolize He/She.

 

DIGGING DITCHES

Do not wallow, chop yourself down, spit in the mirror or otherwise lower yourself from the position you were in prior to your Seperation/Divorce.

[Daddy Bear]

this is an awesome thread. i agree with every word. great insight, William!

[W1nter]

Thanks for the wise words, William. It helps. The first two for me are the most useful.

 

I haven't been putting myself down over this.. she's left a VERY good thing for something uncertain. I'm definitely not envious of her and OP either. I find myself wishing harm on them.. that she realizes what a horrible mistake she's made and comes crawling back.

 

I don't know if it's good of me to have those thoughts or not. Her coming back would just make things even more complicated at this point.

[William55]

W1nter,

 

I still love my wife. Don't ask me why I can still yearn for her after what she has done.

I have to remind myself of the real her and the very real situation I'm in.

People are not used to having things happen to them that they cannot control. Most things that happen in life that are beyond our control are fortunately brief but, divorce, infidelity, death, are not shortlived at all.

I feel like I am in the endurance test from hell. If this was the Navy Seals, I would have rang the bell along time ago.

I know that I could not realistically take my wife back without it totally being a complete gesture of remorse on her part. She's not even close to that now and probably never will be. What could more likely occur would be her returning to me because he dumped her or she got mad at him or she lost interest in him. That has nothing to do with remorse. thereforeeee unacceptable.

She has done the very worst thing to me and has seen my agony, yet walked away. So that should conjur anger and it does, but I still miss her. Go figure.

[W1nter]

I still love my wife. Don't ask me why I can still yearn for her after what she has done.

 

I don't need to ask. I understand... I love her with all of my heart still and I want nothing more to be with her again. Or rather, I want nothing more than to be with the /old/ her again. What she is now I don't think I want at all...

 

And yeah, if she did turn around and said she made a huge mistake.. I don't know. How could I ever put my trust in her again? How can you rebuild trust in someone after something like this?

 

That's probably not even a question I should be asking now.. I shouldn't even think about the possibility - it's just torture.. better to act and think like she's gone for good.

[Vynde]

W1nter,

She has done the very worst thing to me and has seen my agony, yet walked away. So that should conjur anger and it does, but I still miss her. Go figure.

 

I don't need to ask. I understand... I love her with all of my heart still and I want nothing more to be with her again. Or rather, I want nothing more than to be with the /old/ her again. What she is now I don't think I want at all...

 

W1nter / William : I have the same thoughts, friends and family say i should be mad, not wanting her back.. I cant seem to get mad, I miss my wife, and love her so much, I feel like its not normal to feel that way -

 

I guess its true that emotions dominate logic huh..?

 

John