GF has a problem with intimacy of any kind

[Doctor Smurf]

Hi! I feel really pig-headed for even writing this, but its been getting me down now so I need to do something.

 

I've been with an absolutely amazing girl in school for just over three weeks. Not long I know, but I really do like her and I want to stay with her.

 

However it's a fact of life as a 16 year old male I do want some extent of sexual satisfaction, and this is the acknowledged stumbling block we're having. She has no interest in anything intimate beyond a simple kiss, and once in our three weeks she tried tongue and has shown no interest in doing it again. Against my better judgment I mentioned my feelings on it to her, and although she was very kind about it, it confirmed what I thought – she just doesn't have an interest in things intimate.

 

It gets me down and I really want to stay with her, but temptation is so great, and when I spend time with her it's like spending time with a friend – just normal.

 

Any suggestions, thoughts or actions? Ta for reading… Doc

[rocio]

Is she also 16?

[Newo Ikkin]

Perhaps the girl just needs a bit more time. She's young, and perhaps not ready to try things out just yet.

 

If you want satisfaction, you're better off out. You could end up pressuring her without consciously being aware.

[cu2010]

Yo doc,

 

As a sixteen year old your sexual satisfaction shouldn't go far beyond kissing and maybe some touching. You really need to calm your hormones down if you want to be with this girl. I've dated my gf off and on for three years and it took two years for us to finally kiss. It took another month to get her to use tongue and even longer for there to be touching.

 

I guess my point is to stay with this girl if you care about her. Girls hormones wor differently than guys. It's simple guys are horny all the time and girls are horny only sometimes. Besides if you did become more intimate you might have sex and you might end up with a baby. Ask yourself if that will give you sexual satisfaction.

[Doctor Smurf]

Sorry I should have added that. Yes, we're both sixteen, she is ever so slightly younger than me.

[CarnelianButterfly]

She doesn't have to do anything with you. And if you pressure her, she's only going to resent you and kick you to the curb. If you want sex find a girl that wants sex too, your GF shouldn't be expected to do things she doesn't want to. So either cool it or go.

[Memorex12]

I say just talk to her about it a little more, as for CU2010 I feel really bad for you because 2 years without kissing.. is a little strange, the kid is 16 you can't expect him to just supress his urges, Doc just if you do, do stuff just make sure you use protection.

[vermilion]

Only 3 weeks- give her time.

 

I'm not so much into "tongue"- maybe thats what you meant by intimate, that she doesn't like french kissing? But I love cuddling and kissing and touching. Maybe you need to try being intimate with her in other ways. Not everyone likes slobbering and tongue wrestling. Try touching her more and having her touch you and maybe kissing more then just her lips. I just find it gross when a guy pokes and prods with his tongue- maybe she's the same way?

 

If you're with her for a long while and she still doesn't want to be intimate, I'd say it's time to look somewhere else. I mean, not being intimate but still hanging out with someone is basically friends and you need to find someone who actually is interested in making out with you. People may think it's mean but it's completely normal to want these things! Who would want to date someone who won't do anything physical with them? Not me.

 

But I still think it's just that she hasn't warmed up to you yet.

[Doctor Smurf]

Thank you all, particularly to vermilion - you hit the nail on the head!

 

I like most of what was said, and having spent some time with her it doesn't all seem so bad now.

 

Thanks once again... Doc