So how much does a guys looks really matter to a girl?

[Markers]

looks don't matter that much I think. It's more about you having guts to make the first move, because the fact is that most people don't chat up the bad looking guy/girl, they go for the better looking one. So if you don't look that great (I don't mean that you would), you just have to make the move yourself, but if you're a good guy, you have as much chance as anyone once you get the conversation going.

 

But, I don't think the "game" matters that much either. I think that's just a BS concept created by all this male pickup artist culture. All those fancy pickup guide terminology exist only to convince an average joe that he can't have success with women without all the seminars and articles and DVDs that cost $$$$.

[heloladies21]

Sounds like a definite winner to me. Annoying, broke as a joke and not into monogamy. Please tell me how can I get his number? I'd love to be his next in line.

 

Ewwwwwwwww.

 

Sounds like a turn-off rather than a turn-on to me. But again, that's just me.

Are some of you even paying attention to the thread? We're not talking about whether this kid is doing the right or the wrong thing. I personally don't even really like the kid!

 

This thread is about whether looks matter or not in getting girls, and this kid proves it doesn't.

[ImThatGirl]

im sure youve all heard this question before, how much do a guys looks matter to a girl?

and just out of curiosity, do u think i would be considered attractive?

 

Looks matter but aren't a deciding factor. A man can be completely attractive due to personality, demeanor, intelligence, etc.

 

You are attractive.

 

Are you having problems finding dates??

[Kevin T]

I want to say that looks don't matter. And biologically speaking, women should not be concerned with a man's appearance, though not so vice versa. However! I cannot.

 

Today's girls and women are conditioned by society's values to seek after the muscular, body-builder type, with the ruggedly handsome face. It's true. And so, contrary to biology, these women grow up chasing after perfect 10 ideals which few can measure up to. In short, looks matter to most women.

 

Now, the less attractive females will (usually, but not always - so don't quote me on this) end up with someone attainable; meaning he will be lesser in attractiveness than what they desire, so they settle. Knowing they cannot compete with the more attractive females, they instead put looks on the backburner and start to look for less tangible qualities. Perhaps the same could be said of males as well, in this regard.

 

It's sad, and I sure don't agree with it, but it is the way the world works. All things being equal, the woman who has the choice between guy A (super good looking) and guy B (nothing special), the woman will CLEARLY choose guy A (if everything else were the same.) Hell, you can't blame her. I'd do the same!

[heloladies21]

I want to say that looks don't matter. And biologically speaking, women should not be concerned with a man's appearance, though not so vice versa. However! I cannot.

It's not that looks don't matter, it's that they can only help you and their effect quickly disappears when the guy opens his mouth and says something. In effect, good looks won't get you anything unless you know how to talk to girls, and ugly looks won't make a difference as soon as you get into a conversation with a girl.

 

Today's girls and women are conditioned by society's values to seek after the muscular, body-builder type, with the ruggedly handsome face. It's true. And so, contrary to biology, these women grow up chasing after perfect 10 ideals which few can measure up to. In short, looks matter to most women.

Yeah, but genetics trump social conditioning, so that's why if you ask a chick what kind of guy she looks for physically, she'll give you some variation of the traits you talk about because she's using her cognative ability to spit it all out. But if you put her in a situation where she has to interact with a guy, instinct kicks in and mother nature takes care of the rest.. There are certain characteristics which evolutionary psychology has programmed in chick's DNA for them to look for when deciding attraction to a guy, and they are not exactly what the media makes them out to be.

 

the woman will CLEARLY choose guy A (if everything else were the same.)

You said it right there, "if all things were equal." But there is a ton of room in there for the good looking guy to be a complete novice with chicks and the ugly to have the top level of skill.

[CarnelianButterfly]

But, I don't think the "game" matters that much either. I think that's just a BS concept created by all this male pickup artist culture. All those fancy pickup guide terminology exist only to convince an average joe that he can't have success with women without all the seminars and articles and DVDs that cost $$$$.

But every female in the world wants to be manipulated and coerced into bed. You didn't know that, must be because you haven't study the theory of being a jerk.

[ccbrat17]

looks dont matter but you ARE attractive....anyone who says diff...is on crack or something

[hosswhispra]

It's not looks that matter - it's attraction - I've been unattracted to men who look like male models and attracted to men with objectively below average looks. I've never wanted to date a man with below average intelligence though or with a below average character/values.

 

Same for me. Exactly.

 

 

Are some of you even paying attention to the thread? We're not talking about whether this kid is doing the right or the wrong thing. I personally don't even really like the kid!

 

This thread is about whether looks matter or not in getting girls, and this kid proves it doesn't.

 

I was being sarcastic or trying to be witty. I get like that when I have my .

[rocker2084]

well i dont have problems picking up on women, the problem is that the ones i pick up on arent the right ones i guess

[Salucious]

It's not that looks don't matter, it's that they can only help you and their effect quickly disappears when the guy opens his mouth and says something. In effect, good looks won't get you anything unless you know how to talk to girls, and ugly looks won't make a difference as soon as you get into a conversation with a girl.

 

We've talked a dozen times about this, you and me, and you make some good points, but even you admit that looks do matter by saying this. It supports the idea that a woman will look at a room of men and before even knowing them accept the better looking men first; give them more oppurtunity. Most of the time the other man won't get a chance at her unless within minutes of talking to the good looking men she is completely disgusted (unlikely). And yes, just having good looks without talking the talk will still get you girls. All through high school there were several "good looking" guys that girls swooned over who were very shy and quiet. Because of all the girls attention they had more oppurtunity to learn their game.

 

Being totally realistic, looks DO matter. It is not a "personal hurdle" people put in front of themselves or "use as an excuse" Your physical attractiveness is judged by the opposite sex. women respond more positively to good looking men just as men do with women. People who are below average looking, and they know who they are, will always get the short end of the stick. Yeah, they can have "good game" but that doesn't change the fact that their lack of physical attractivness are the reason they need that game.

 

I wouldn't really believe most women if they said guys don't have to be physically attractive, you see it every day girls react differently to men they are attracted to physically. to gain confidence with women you need to experience results and positive feedback, right? If you're putting just as much effort into it as good looking guys and they get women and you don't that hurts your confidence.

 

heloladies, if you're saying that looks don't matter as long as they have "tight game" than doesn't that just translate to "Yeah, looks matter but there are ways around it" If so, then saying that looks only "help" you isn't really saying the whole truth. I'm not trying to argue with you, its just you place blame on people's ability to talk to women.

 

The problem I think is that a lot of guys who aren't considered physically attractive give a generous attempt at talking to girls but get shot down because of their looks. This is what leads to low self-confidence.

 

I don't think I"m unatractive, but I know for a fact that my physical apperance doesn't help me get women. (I think I'd know if women found me physically attractive) But I don't understand how just by saying the "right thing" in the "right way" magically makes women attracted to me.

[New_Horizons]

Good post salucious. Also, women define physical attractiveness mostly by the physique and body language. Even though I have decent facial features, my lack of stature/build makes me look invisible in a roomful of average guys. Just to get an 'average dose' of attention, I have to speak up unusually loudly or do something unusual and then it just comes accross as desperate or a Napoleon complex. I know heloladies will tell me there is no point in me whining about this because I can't change women's attitudes, and I know he's right. But I wish women would admit that superficiality is just as common in them. I have no sympathy for those women (you know who you are ) who complain that men are only interested in physical appearances. What goes around comes around. Sort of collective karma, even if the particular woman has never been superficial.

[CarnelianButterfly]

Fine for all the men that want a woman to say it:

You have to have a Brad Pitt face, Ron Jeremy size penis, Jason Statham's moves, Bill Gates' money, never go bald, always put the seat down, and never ever have poop that stinks!

[Kevin T]

I have all that but Gates' money and the part of about the toilet seat. lol (I ALWAYS leave the damn thing up.)

[jammin_james61]

Looks Matter, and they matter a lot!

 

If I say hi to a girl and ask them how they're are doing they reply and walk away.

 

My brother says hi to the same girl she stops in her tracks and SHE starts the conversation laughing at whatever he says.

 

Lol, the only attention I really get is pity, or if the girl already has a boyfriend and she knows there is no chance of me thinking I have a chance with her.

 

Case closed in my book.

[Kevin T]

You know, I take back what I before.

 

It's becoming increasingly apparent that it's not guys' looks that repel women from them, it's their attitudes.

[CarnelianButterfly]

It's becoming increasingly apparent that it's not guys' looks that repel women from them, it's their attitudes.

DING DING DING

 

We have a WINNE R !!!

 

Wow, how many times can women say it.

[Kevin T]

Nah, it was listening to all the whining from guys that made me realize it.

 

Who the hell would want to be around someone with SUCH a negative, self-defeating attitude?

 

Even the hottest of girls would quickly become unattractive with a poor attitude like that.

[heloladies21]

It supports the idea that a woman will look at a room of men and before even knowing them accept the better looking men first; give them more oppurtunity.

This isn't the way it plays out in the real world. My friend Bobby is never the best looking guy in the room, but as soon as he strolls up on a girl, every other guy in the room disappears. It's just the two of them after that.

 

Most of the time the other man won't get a chance at her unless within minutes of talking to the good looking men she is completely disgusted (unlikely).

No, it's not like that either, girls don't screen through guys like that, letting the best looking guys hit on them, and if things don't pan out, then they give the lesser guys a chance. Bobby has went to clubs and taken girls home within 30 minutes while 10 guys stand around all night with a drink in their hands going home alone without even talking to a chick. I've seen this time and time again.

 

And yes, just having good looks without talking the talk will still get you girls. All through high school there were several "good looking" guys that girls swooned over who were very shy and quiet. Because of all the girls attention they had more oppurtunity to learn their game.

I'm not disagreeing with this, good looks can get you girls. I'm saying it's not necessary for you to get the best looking girls. I've seen proof of this.

 

Being totally realistic, looks DO matter. It is not a "personal hurdle" people put in front of themselves or "use as an excuse".

This is exactly what it is, and excuse. I've seen too much proof not to see it this way.

 

Your physical attractiveness is judged by the opposite sex. women respond more positively to good looking men just as men do with women.

True, that's why it's necessary to be persistent and let your personality show through.

 

People who are below average looking, and they know who they are, will always get the short end of the stick. Yeah, they can have "good game" but that doesn't change the fact that their lack of physical attractivness are the reason they need that game.

Everyone needs game. Even if a good looking guy is good looking enough to get a grat girl, this isn't what keeps a girl around. A chick will stay with a guy if she feels emotional attachment/interest in a guy and this is very independent to physical attraction.

 

I'm good looking and I've gotten dumped before. As a matter of fact, I've been dumped in the majority of the relationships I've been in. It's only been in 2006 that I've developed my understanding to the point where I feel confident that I can keep a chick. I see the way they act differently towards me now, and it's not just one chick, it's all of em. My brother's went through the same thing, so I know it's just not me.

 

I wouldn't really believe most women if they said guys don't have to be physically attractive, you see it every day girls react differently to men they are attracted to physically. to gain confidence with women you need to experience results and positive feedback, right? If you're putting just as much effort into it as good looking guys and they get women and you don't that hurts your confidence.

Being ugly makes things harder in that sense. Your personality has to be that much better, but I'm not sure why that should intimidate you. You just have to learn more/practice more/be stronger inside. All of these things are things you can do. Seeing it the way you see it is like self pity, comparing yourself to the all the guys who have it good and that gets you exactly nowhere.

 

All the time and energy you've spent notocing and complaining about how you have it tough because you're not tall would be so much better spent trying to learn how to use your personality to get a girl better. You need help in this area, and you're not going to believe a word I'm saying until you get better at this, and you're not going to get better until you get fed up and try.

 

heloladies, if you're saying that looks don't matter as long as they have "tight game" than doesn't that just translate to "Yeah, looks matter but there are ways around it".

That is basically what I'm saying.

 

If so, then saying that looks only "help" you isn't really saying the whole truth. I'm not trying to argue with you, its just you place blame on people's ability to talk to women.

That's where the blame should be placed. It's the truth.

 

The problem I think is that a lot of guys who aren't considered physically attractive give a generous attempt at talking to girls but get shot down because of their looks. This is what leads to low self-confidence.

I agree with this and it can be a downward spiral, but self confidence is an interior thing and has nothing to do with how physically attracted a girl is to you.

 

It's hard, this takes a lot of mental and emotional strength to overcome, but it is doable.

 

I don't think I"m unatractive, but I know for a fact that my physical apperance doesn't help me get women.

Your physical apperance doesn't help you get women, but your lack of ability is what makes you fail. i never lean on my looks anymore because I know how pointless it is. My self esteem isn't boosted anymore by girls thinking I'm good looking, because I know it just doesn't matter anymore. My looks are gonna fade one day and now I know I have at least developed my skill enough where I know I'll still get girls. And my path wasn't easy either, I'm not short, but I am of a different race so this presented more significant barriers than you come up against. I fought through and now after all this time I see results.

 

But I don't understand how just by saying the "right thing" in the "right way" magically makes women attracted to me.

There's only one way for you to find out. It works, but you don't have to take my word for it. But I'm not sure why I'd lie to a bunch of people on an internet forum. Nothin in it really for me.

[heloladies21]

Also, women define physical attractiveness mostly by the physique and body language.

These are two very different things and I would put body language into communication. It's non-verbal communiction.

 

Even though I have decent facial features, my lack of stature/build makes me look invisible in a roomful of average guys.

You're self conscious about this and your self limiting belief is what prevents you from making yourself known by initiating conversations with the women yourself.

 

Just to get an 'average dose' of attention, I have to speak up unusually loudly or do something unusual and then it just comes accross as desperate or a Napoleon complex.

If it's coming out desperate, then you're doing it the wrong way and this is what needs to be fixed.

 

I know heloladies will tell me there is no point in me whining about this because I can't change women's attitudes, and I know he's right. But I wish women would admit that superficiality is just as common in them. I have no sympathy for those women (you know who you are ) who complain that men are only interested in physical appearances. What goes around comes around. Sort of collective karma, even if the particular woman has never been superficial.

And if they were to admit this, then it would prompt you to finally learn how to do this for real? You need to reset your priorities because comments like this get you absolutely nowhere when you could be improving and enjoying all the good things that come along with it. But that choice is yours in the end.

[heloladies21]

Looks Matter, and they matter a lot!

 

If I say hi to a girl and ask them how they're are doing they reply and walk away.

 

My brother says hi to the same girl she stops in her tracks and SHE starts the conversation laughing at whatever he says.

 

Lol, the only attention I really get is pity, or if the girl already has a boyfriend and she knows there is no chance of me thinking I have a chance with her.

 

Case closed in my book.

There is a very big difference in what you say and they way that you say it, and the way you say it is infinitely more important. This is where you need to improve.

[heloladies21]

Even the hottest of girls would quickly become unattractive with a poor attitude like that.

Exactly, even the best looking guy would get shot down. But this works in the positive as well.

[Nightshade]

Look do matter to me. It may sound shallow or superficial, but if I am drawn to a guy, 99% of the time it will be due to his physical appearance, simply because I am a visual person, and because I do not have the ability to bore deep into his soul and see his personality when said guy is standing accross the room. The other 1% of the time may be due to the man performing some act that appeals to me, such as helping an old lady cross the street or something, which suddenly makes him attractive in my eyes, whereas before, he was not.

 

That said, looks may be the bait to lure me in, but they cannot produce the catch if said guy is attractive, but has the personality or intellectual appeal of a wooden log. There have been a few times when my attraction to a particular guy waned after said person revealed himself to have some undesirable character traits.

[gotSPL]

granted. but looks>attitude, in that women wont know what you're like because you look like a douche.

[jammin_james61]

Believe what you want, but how do you think I got that "negative, self-defeating-attitude?" If women looked at you with disgust when you show some interest in them what attitudes would you start to have? I don't think I was born so jaded, admit it looks matter to the opposite sex. Why even when I was typing this my sister and her friends were just talking about boys in her classes and called a couple kids ugly and expressed their desire to date this one really hot guy.

 

Whatever, even if the whole attitude thing was true, I'm sensative and being called ugly and homely my entire life really makes it easy to have confidence with women...

[dr.idunno]

Of course looks matter. Women not only look for men who can help her raise a child but also men who can increase their offspring's chance of reproducing. But having good looks alone won't get you anywhere if you can't provide women with the sense that their offspring can survive because you dont have the attitude and characteristics that allow your would be family to survive. Good looking guys get the audition, but that doesn't mean that they will be the next american idol.