savigota Posted October 30, 2006 Share Posted October 30, 2006 Hi Guys: Ok I'm back with the same issue as before... After almost 2-3 weeks of working with my baby(2yrs) in order to stop him from bitting and pulling his classmates hair, we had another incident today. He has been doing really well and has responded positively to time-out and the "take him away from we're he misbehaved" thing. But today, I go to pick him up at his preschool and the fist thing i see is my baby crying unconsolable. I ask the teacher what happened and she says that he was repremended for bitting a girl and pulling another girl's hair (for no reason). I had to sign an incident sheetand they said that I have to control this situation. They are well aware of my proactivity towards this issue and it shows since the baby hadn't done it for 2 weeks since we started paying attention to this problem. I did tell the teacher that I do find it very strange that this conduct only appears in school. He never attempts this in the park when he is with many other kids or even in play-dates. Last week alone we had 3 of about 4-8 kids at the same time. Not once did my baby try to bite, pull or any other aggresion. So its not a matter of him being jealous or attention-needy like the teacher told me. I am worried though about how I picked him up today crying. He NEVER cries here in the house when I scold him. Today his eyes were red , i guess from crying for a while and when i held him, he still wouldn't stop crying and was whimpering and feeling miserable. It lasted well after we got home. He doesn't talk yet so Itsnnot like i can ask him what happened. I don't think they hit him but if so, I don;t find any marks that would show that this happened. Any input.... I'm worried! Why only in school? why was he crying so bad? Link to comment
southerngirl Posted October 30, 2006 Share Posted October 30, 2006 Have you checked into other pre-schools? That is what I personally would do. I would switch his schools faster than you could blink. The way he is acting out could be very well a sign that he isnt being treated very well at that school. Link to comment
savigota Posted October 30, 2006 Author Share Posted October 30, 2006 i started looking for other schools last month when this all started but then stopped because my baby seems happy here. he gets there and is smiling and running in.. it seems that he enjoys himself there. That is why his attitude was so strange. Link to comment
southerngirl Posted October 30, 2006 Share Posted October 30, 2006 When she repremanded him, what did that involve? Also was another kid doing something to him to provoke it, u know? Then he gets punished that could really hurt his feelings! It reminds me of when my oldest son was about that age there was another kid at the school that hit him, he hti back and my son got in trouble. But when it happened again THIS time the teacher saw what really went down and it was discovered that there was another kid causing the problems. Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted October 30, 2006 Share Posted October 30, 2006 Some resources for the biting: link removed link removed link removed link removed I think you should casually ask him "what happened" and see what he says. Be careful about your tone of voice. Dont let him pick up on any ideas or emotion you may have about what happened. Be very neutral. Perhaps ask during a time when you 2 are relaxed and having fun (i.e. putting a puzzle together, etc.) It's very possible that NO foul play occurred at the preschool, but his pride was just very hurt. Remember, at age 2 the sense of self really begins to develop and it's a time when toddlers become aware of social judgement. They can develop a lot of embarrassment at that age. If he likes his teacher, and he was reprimanded, in theory it could be enough to send him into tears due to embarrassment and shame. His ego was probably hurt. Many toddlers will fall down and cry, not because they got physically hurt, but because their pride got hurt. BellaDonna Link to comment
colors Posted October 30, 2006 Share Posted October 30, 2006 bitting & pulling hair for NO REASON??? that seems odd. I work with children on a daily basis & next to never does that happen for 'no reason.' There is always something that sets it off. ie. taking a toy, getting in the way, not sharing, being mean in some way...ect. It seems odd that they would say for NO REASON. ??? how old is he? my son is 4, I noticed he does cry more when he is scolded by others, rather than just me again. but I also tend to agree with southerngirl "Also was another kid doing something to him to provoke it, u know? Then he gets punished that could really hurt his feelings!" Link to comment
savigota Posted October 30, 2006 Author Share Posted October 30, 2006 his teacher told me that they were all coloring in the art tables and that for no reason he pulled his neighbor's hair. That the girl was coloring, as was he, and the=at he just went for it.... Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted October 30, 2006 Share Posted October 30, 2006 Maybe she had a crayon he wanted. Try asking him.... be very nonchalant about it when you do. BellaDonna Link to comment
savigota Posted October 30, 2006 Author Share Posted October 30, 2006 he doesn't talk yet... At home I could easily interpret what he wanted when he was bitting but in school I just have to go with what his teacher tells me.. she says he bit the girl with no reason... O also, thanks for the links. I'm reading them right now! Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted October 30, 2006 Share Posted October 30, 2006 he doesn't talk yet... This could be another reason for the behavior. Perhaps he wanted to communicate something and became frustrated. There may have been nothing that outwardly provoked the behavior, but we don't know what he was thinking in his mind: "I want that crayon!" "I'm mad today." etc. He has time to still develop his vocabulary, so don't worry too much about that. Though it's often recommended to get a hearing test, just to be sure: link removed BellaDonna Link to comment
melrich Posted October 30, 2006 Share Posted October 30, 2006 Any input.... I'm worried! Why only in school? why was he crying so bad? Kids are completely different people when they are separated from their parents. Completely different. Some act up, some come good. I wouldn't be too confident in taking his behaviour with you as an example of what his behaviour is like without you. Then you start getting into the classic syndrome of "Oh my child would not do that." You have previously discovered that your child has an occasional problem with biting. Don't second guess it now. Continue on the program you are on. Link to comment
mommyof3 Posted August 7, 2007 Share Posted August 7, 2007 hi I am new here as i found this thread doing a search on biting but wanted to say I watch a friends child, he is almost 3 and had bitten my almost 3 year old son a few times in the past but last week alone bit him 3 times. the first time they were playing with a toy together and took it back and forth. They both wanted the same toy the bite wound bleed and i have never seen anything like that. it was bad BUT then the next day my son was playing with his toy again sitting with his back to the other child, watching i thought the other boy was going to play too because he left his toy on one side of the room to go sit with my son, but instead just went up and bite him right on the back, my son had no idea it was coming (he's the same age) and it was not provoked at all . I didn't have time to stop it not thinking myself that he would just go bite like that. I was in shock because I never seen a child bite or show this type of frustration for no reason. now he is a really good child, my son has a large vocabulary and can say what he wants but this other child doesn't have much to say and we think this is what is causing the biting. we have been working with him. telling him that teeth are for eating, and only food and drinks go in his mouth (he still puts toys in his mouth a lot and chews on things and puts his fingers in his mouth) His mom has been telling him that he's supposed to hug his friends not hurt them. so far this seems to be working very well with him! lots of luck to you, I just wanted to post this because i know others think it's weird about unprovoked bitting, a lot of times it's just the childs frustration, and inability to handle their emotions . eta:sorry didn't notice this thread was so old! Link to comment
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