dont know where to go from here anymore

[super_dave0001]

well its been a while since i posted bout my break up... i went on NC with the ex for three weeks. she would txt me but i'd ignore them, then last friday (oct20) she called my phone twice, i ignored both calls but she left a threatening voice basically saying if i dont call her back she will never talk to me again.

we ended up talking for a bit that night and through out the week we would talk on msn, mainly her always starting the convos.

 

i did let her know how i felt, do to the fact that i felt like i was getting mixed signals on her part, which were her sending me txts, and picture msgs of her baby cousins, and she would always talk to me online steady. I felt as if she wanted to try to work things out, but i was wrong, she made it clear she wanted to be friends at the moment, and appearntly shes interested in another guy.

 

i was a jerk most of the convos, rightfully so if you ask me, she broke my heart. but she even said it seems like every chance i get to throw the punch at her i do, weather i realise it consciously or not.

 

she claims she still loves me and cares for me. but last night i talked to her and she said maybe we should tell eachother where were going on weekends so we dont end up in the same place. she said she doesnt want to possibly make me upset. when i questioned her on that she told me to nevermind, but i knew that it ment id see her with other guys. she says she knows i would get mad cause i told her i wanted to work on things between us. I ended up telling her that i dont care because i no she dosent want to get back together. her response was "ok"

 

that threw me off, "ok" dosent say much, it could be "ok ur right i dont want to work it out", or "ok, but your wrong i do want to work it out".... it seems like another mind game to me. why cant woman just be upfront and leave the games for the field

 

i dunno what to make of things anymore, common sense just dosent seem logical anymore

[NJRon]

Looks like you are trying to read something into 'ok' when, in fact, ok may just mean, ok. As in, we are now clear... agreement.

[dreamguy]

I'd just stop contacting her for the time being.

You need to regain control of your emotions and your life.

Don't let her string you along.

 

I know it's easier said than done when you love someone that much but trust me this is the only acceptable option you have right now. Let her be for the time being because she's obviously toying you around.

I mean come on... who is she to dictate where you should go on week-ends ?

 

All other options: like chasing her, getting mad and threatening her, asking if she is seeing another guy, etc... will make you look extremely weak and out of control. You don't want that if you ever want any hope of her falling in love with you again.

 

NJRon is right... ok just means "ok" so don't lose hours of sleep trying to analyze what it means.

[super_dave0001]

you guys are both right, but i don't ask her questions, cause i no it will set me back, shes asked me questions like if ive been sleeping around, how my gf is, but i dont have 1 lol, i just say its none of her business... i definitly dont chase her, i try not to show interest, and rarely start convos

[NJRon]

Why are you two still talking?

[super_dave0001]

Why are you two still talking?

 

she wants to be friends

[NJRon]

Do *you* want to be friends? Do friends divide up the city?

[super_dave0001]

hmmm? i do want to be friends, because every realationship has to start out as friends, but at the same time it can be tough knowing shes interested in another guy...

[NJRon]

But I thought you just ended a relationship. Why would want to start one with the same girl?

 

Don't you think it would be better for you to find someone else you can "start as friends" with? It just doesn't sound like you two are friends... you can't just *will* it to happen... sometimes, you need to take a complete break before it can happen... in fact... usually you do.

[super_dave0001]

shes the one that broke up with me, im the dumpee, and the reason why i want to work things out is because i can see myself marrying her... plus the reason for the break up was so crappy. it wasnt like a cheating or constant fighting to break us up. things just got routien and a little boring

[NJRon]

It takes two to get married and... first... you typically need to be in a relationship. She doesn't want that.. so I would put marriage on the backburner for the time being.

 

Relationships end for all kinds of reasons... some are very traumatic... tohers just peter out. However... those are both endings.

 

If you would work to pull yourself out and move on, then you could truly know whether she was the one to marry. As long as you stay in this the way you are, you are basing all of your future on fantasy...

[super_dave0001]

i understand what your trying to say, im just still clinging on to this little piece of hope that we could work things out and get back together, obviously i need to better my self, and my mentality

[NJRon]

Or at least not keep clinging to a *little* bit of hope keep you shackled

 

Sometimes we forget how much blind hope weighs. Moving on can only have positive results... for, if she ever feels the same toward you as you do now to her, I can guarantee that she will let you know... no matter how much time or distance has passed.

[super_dave0001]

meh, woman and realationships suck lol

[TornTattered]

Hey man.. ive been following your stuff here for a while and im gonna tell you something i told someone else today. AT some point you have to let go of that hope. It only hurts you. The ex really doesnt give a * * * * if you are still in love and are trying to work things out. They are looking out for themselves. Its that simple... unfortunately.

 

People change. That is a sad fact. So i tell you this. Get away from this girl. Take a break. NC right now! My advice is to work on yourself. You can change as well. But change for the BETTER. Do not worry if she is gonna come back, or if she is not going to come back. Give up that hope and replace it with something else ( very hard to do.. but time will help that). A better you! Look at it this way. In a month or 2 months, or more from now, do you want her to see the same old superdave? NO. You want them to see a confident, strong, handsome, happy superdave. Not the " ill wait for you forever." or the sad depressed superdave. I know it hurts. I had the friday morning blues this morning as well. But you know what... what more motivation do you need to move on and better yourself than this? Sometimes we need that kick in the * * * to change. You desereve better.Maybe she is the girl of your dreams. But you cant force her to come back to you. Wouldnt it feel great to see her months from now when you are trully better? I look forward to that day. The day where i can say to her face without words that i dont need her... i can do better... and its too bad she gave me up. Keep on rolling man. We are here for ya.