How do/did you know when you're ready for contact with ex?

[rimshot22]

I've been pondering reaching out to my ex for a while now but have stuck to NC. I miss my best friend and really want to know how she's doing but am fearful that I'm not prepared to handle contact. When is the first time communicating with your ex didn't hurt?

[violingirl]

It took about a year and 4 months before I was able to talk to my ex without feeling very emotional/hurt about it (he broke up with me). We had some (mostly not so good) contact during the first 6 months after the breakup, then 10 months NC and then I reached out to him. It felt good knowing that I could handle communicating with him without getting emotional or upset. We did talk about our relationship/breakup in depth and it was good that I was able to be calm during those conversations. We are still talking and I enjoy talking to him.

[Lioness]

That's a great question. I guess when you no longer feel emotional or scared when you think about calling them?? I think it took me about two years before I could call my x and talk reasonably. Now we're friends and I do depend on him for a lot. It's odd but I like him more as a friend than I did as a husband.

[sparkle1]

Its a very good question.

 

I've been split up with my ex for one year today (my god where does time go?)

 

And....it still hurts when i see him and leave.

 

I don't think when you really loved someone, that pain ever goes.

 

I think if i broke seeing him - and saw him by accident- i would be catapulted straight back.

 

thats just me!

[Juliana]

When you can picture a future without them and know you'll be okay.

[BornToResist]

When in doubt, you are NOT ready.

 

I have a great relationship with my exbf, but that took literally years of pain and hurt to get past everything and to this point. Fortunately it turned out to be worth it, but it was hell getting here.

 

So wait until you absolutely, positively, 100% believe you're ready, no doubt in your mind....even then it will most likely sting a bit.

 

Sucks huh.

[chai714]

I've been pondering reaching out to my ex for a while now but have stuck to NC. I miss my best friend and really want to know how she's doing but am fearful that I'm not prepared to handle contact. When is the first time communicating with your ex didn't hurt?

 

Missing your ex is a very normal feeling that everyone can relate to. But it's not a good enough reason to contact her. If you're not emotional about her and you can handle her saying something like, "I love my new boyfriend, he's so good in bed. And I think you know him, he used to be good friends with you" then go for it. But you must psychologically prepare yourself and know you can handle the worst case scenario, otherwise you will become emotional.