Why does he do this???!!

[wonderfulconfusion]

A guy tells you, stop no more contact, no more calling no more texting one night...

Then the next day he send you a pathetic text saying he saw your brother at some mall??

 

Can someone explain this to me? Is he confused or playing?

[flooglebinder]

I really wish I knew! I'm in the same boat. Got dumped, she said we needed to break all contact so we could move on or we'd start the cycle all over again. That was 2 months ago, and now she txts me nearly every day, just to tell me something or ask what I'm up to.

 

I've been told its because they don't want us to move on or be happy - dont think thats right in my case.

 

Maybe its habit, maybe its familiarity, maybe its a safety net, maybe its regret.

 

It can be alot of things I suppose, I wish I knew the answer!

[majord23]

I think he does it for the same reason that *anyone* does when they implement NC (whether they be the dumper or the dumpee).

 

He knows that NC is the right thing to do but when faced with the reality of trying to stick with it, it proves more difficult than expected.

 

Do not read anything into it - he is having trouble adjusting to life without you, just as you are adjusting to life without him.

[wonderfulconfusion]

Thanks majord!

I believe you are right! I think he knows its the best thing for us to do now... we need time apart to figure things out!

Thats is what NC is for... figure things out..either you feel that you're better off without him...or you dont.... and viseversa!

I suppose best to do is not answer back...I felt like writing, I thought you wanted no contact buddy??

[flooglebinder]

Yeah, I'm getting to the stage where I have to say something similar, I can feel it brewing. I wonder if they consciously know what they are doing, I mean we have the benefit of these threads to help us understand why and how and stuff but they maybe don't. For me it feels like I know her better than she knows herself - weird!

[sparkle1]

I think we are underestimating the other person by claiming to know them better then themselves.

 

If we understood them....we wouldn't be on here - as we would understand why they done what they done - surely?

[amtjrtcet]

Sparkle, you took the words right of my mouth.

 

wonderfulconfusion: Don't try to figure out "why". Don't read into it, or give yourself false hope. Just ignore it, and move on. Thats the only way you are goin to heal. If he wanted NC, he needs to stick to it. If he wants to reconcile, he would say so. Its hard letting go, whether you are the dumper or the dumpee. But try to keep moving forward, not backward.