Strange Signals from ex now back in my life (?)

[Mstyiyd]

I have been talking with my ex for about a month now, we reconnected after we saw each other out in public. All we are is "friends"....sigh sigh sigh.....I'm still trying to move forward and maintain a separate existence from her, hang out w/my friends etc etc. She calls me several times a day to just chat about nothing.

My birthday is today and she got me a bottle of wine, a card, some candy and a gift certificate to a store I like. I was real surprised bec we were NC when her bday was a few months ago.

 

Last nite we actually talked some stuff out and she apologized (for the first and only time) for hurting me because she did not intend to. We had gotten together a few yrs ago after she got out of a LTR....rebound as it might have been, we were "together" in some form for about a yr...then she wanted to just be friends. I know that although she goes out she has never dated anyone in the past several yrs but me. Yep, I still have feelings for her but I'm trying to be realistic. I have not come onto her in any way since she started the "friends" thing over a yr ago. When we talked last nite, she made it adamantly clear that she valued our friendship over any relationship and she regretted us ever getting involved in that way, etc etc......it took two, but she wanted us to stay friends bec she feels she can talk to me and we have a good time together. We still spend alot of time together. It's prob not a good idea, but I told her I'd take it day by day and see how it goes. So anyway, I felt better that I finally got an apology....bec she can be very cocky and almost never apologizes to anyone, that I know of.

 

She slept over last nite bec we had been somewhere where it was late for her to drive home....she stayed on the couch and I was in my bed. I woke up really early this morning bec I thought I heard the alarm go off downstairs. I went down and she was still sleeping, but she rolled over and said she didnt need to get up for another hour. As I turned to go back upstairs, she says to me, "Do you want to sleep down here?"

 

NOW.........why the heck would she say that to me when we finally hashed all of this out last nite, after needing to do this for over a year now...........if I had done that/asked her the same thing, of course I know how she'd probably be! Is it to test me to see what I'll do? I seriously don't get it...........only hours before she said the whole friend thing once and for all. Is it comfort? Bec if she wanted to find someone, she knows where to party...I know it's not all about that but still.

 

Any input out there? I have to laugh.....it's kind of funny, in a bizarre way. It's like.........friends don't do that,,,,not usually....and wouldn't you think that someone who is so adamant that she only wants to be friends/nothing more would NOT have done that bec they want to make their point????? happy bday to me! it was a great one!

[cheecago]

My guess is she's using you as a rebound again...Guard your heart with all you have I say!

[Mstyiyd]

hey cheecago, thanks for replying. I've got the lock/key around the heart as best i can we reconnected last month, it was after 5mos of NC......we ran into each other and that's how we started talking again....but a rebound for what purpose? she hasn't been with anyone (i know from reliable sources)....???

[Aschleigh]

I'd say he's pretty into you. Wants to sleep with you, wants all the benifits of a boyfriend while still maintain the " just friends" line.

What do you want? Do you want to be friends with her or more? Decide what you want and tell her what is it, see if she is into it.

If you want to be just friends, don't let her spend the night or call so much. That's more than friends behavior.

[Mstyiyd]

But how can someone be "into me" when they claim they never had feelings for me, it was a mistake that we hooked up initally in the 1st place, yet calls me several times a day, spends all this time w/me, yada yada yada..................i think its really her problem, not me.......but if i wasn't into someone i wouldnt be talking to them all the time or spending alot of time w/the person bec i wouldnt WANT THEM to think I wanted more! We'll see what happens, I guess. She asked me to eat lunch 2x this wk and we've talked several times. Sigh sigh sigh.

 

Glad I made plans already for this wkend without her! So i won't be all anxious about what she's doing......

 

thanks for the advice!