Was feelling good, now I'm sad again

[tobetterdays]

Hey, all.

I just wanted to get some of these thoughts out. From the people who followed my story, Im about 4 months out of a 3.5 year relationship. I suffered horribly like most here, but really pulled myself together and made great progress since the breakup. I even started dating a few girls again, which was really exciting.

 

For some reason, I have hit a wall and thoughts of her have crept in my mind at a rate that i havent experienced in weeks. To me, it is really discouraging because i was doing so well..i still am doing well, i guess i just really miss her.

She hasnt called me since the day she dumped me, which in the grand scheme of things, it probably the best thing for me.. but that rejection still stings like a mofo.

 

maybe the excitement of dating these few girls has worn out as i realized that they do not compare to the connection i had with my ex..maybe i wasnt ready to date..who knows..but i really feel discouraged because i think i might be regressing. i have been NC for months now...but still think of her a lot..

 

breaking up sucks.

[this2willpa55]

i feel the same way as you, but i will try to give words of encouragement. i remember the breakup of my first significant relationship, i thought for sure, i would not find anyone that i could connect with as much as my ex. during that time i have loved and lost a couple of more times. unfortunately, i am at that stage again.

 

you are on the right track to the road of recovery, you just hit a minor bump in the road. you will find the perfect girl for you in time. maybe, you do need to take a break from dating until you are completely over your ex. the right girl may come along and you may not know. comparing her to your ex is really not fair.

[TornTattered]

I have been comparing every girl that ive met since the break up to my ex. And i realize that I cant date for a really long time. I am not over her. And i cant be emotionally involved with anyone. Plus i have a conscience, so i cant rebound either. Today i finally dropped the hatchet and gave up hope that she will come back to me. So im in the gutters right now. The only thing i want to do now is just go out with some class... yet, completely closing the book is not what i want to as well. Guess ill just bite the bullet and keep on keeping on.

 

You are already much farther along than i am. As you have already started dating. So keep up the work, itl come in due time. We're here for ya.

[skyjuice]

Hi

 

Your ex is doing you a favour by not contacting you. It really helps to you heal. They did not give you any chances or hope that both of you could get back together. They did not string you along, which is the last decent thing to do for a broken relationship.

[Captain34]

id recommend getting some attention fromthe opposite sex, just keep it light and dont get into the dating realm..

[LONESOUL]

TBD~ Hey good to hear from you! Riding that train huh? It's all part of it. I still go up, and then down...never really know which is around the next corner. A few weeks ago I hit a simular situation to what you have described I think. I guess I thought I was kind of "safe" I mean I wasn't

crying my eyes out, and I was actually focusing on other things...and then it just kind of "hit me" that my life was completely different. I started wondering if I would ever have "what we had" I had to follow that thought thru to remember "thats not a bad thing~she hurt me really bad" I think what happened was I just didn't think I was going to feel that dispair ever again, so

when I did~it hit me like a ton of brinks until I could work it through.

My ex and I are not in nc anymore~we don't talk often and it actaully helped me to come out of nc with her...but only because seeing her reminded me of what I don't want! If you wrote of list of the negiitive things about her or the relationship,re- read it. Maybe go over some of your earlier posts...it's just a bend in the road...a little hill, the

good is waiting for you again just around the corner.

 

Take good care

Lone

[desertnomad]

Well TBD strangely enough I have been going through something similiar also.

The last two weeks have been a serious downer for me and I have told several people those very words that I have hit a wall. Not sure what it is maybe the four month mark or the holidays coming up?

 

I havent been dating but have met a few women and people to hang out with but as you say its just not the same.

 

My ex of 3.5 yrs also did not contact me for the most part from day one and shes still with the guy she left me for. Your right that rejection can really haunt you. Kind of feel like I will never be the same I was, and am almost resigned to being just a ghost of myself.

 

Sounds like you have come a real long way though and have made alot of good progress.

[flooglebinder]

Similar situation myself. 2 months out, started dating a woman 2 weeks ago, had to call it a day on sunday, I couldnt continue it, it made me feel good at first but then the comparisons started. And now I feel bad again, missing her again, missing that connection we had (which I think we still have). Doesnt help that she's back txting now and then when she wanted NC at the start. One thing I do know is its gonna take someone very special to get me and keep me - now in a weird way thats exciting, its just the 'how long' factor that kills!

[tobetterdays]

hey thanks for the support everyone..

well i do know that i am light years ahead of where i thought i'd be at this point. sometimes my heart just takes over and i really miss her..not as my girlfriend..just as an important person i cherished. i know i will never want her back, in fact, i don't even think ever talking to her again will be something i would want. while i forgive her for the way she broke my heart, i will never forget what she did.

 

so i keep plugging along..one day at a time..working on my new career which i love. i have realized that girls my age 27 are looking for genuine, career minded, funny, loving guys and that i am indeed a catch waiting for that someone special to walk into my life.

 

then i will be that much more experienced having learned valuable lessons of my past rellationship.

 

take care all