here we go again....

[kickedin]

out of no where afterbreaking up for 10 days we decide to take it slow and this morning she was pissy i ask what is wrong and she goes off on me......she emailed me this

 

look....i am sooo sorry

but i a have extreme emotions on how i am feeling

i can't get into it now

i don't have the luxury to discuss nor think about personal matters

during my work day

i can't do a lot that you can do!

 

all i can say is try to understand why i am feeling this way

i am overwhelmed!

beyond understanding beyond your wildest dreams

i am overwhelmed!

 

stop comparing me to people who are

in easier professions

have different levels of demands in other areas in their life

have a place to call home

a different physical status

a different age or not feeling the strain of getting to old to bear kids!

a different spouse who can carry the load....god forbid you are too sick to get the bread and butter

and not add pressure b/c he has debts from past pleasures!

the satisfaction of just raising kids....not just the stress of "oh my...haven't even started yet!"

or a golden opportunity that fell on them without years of education

etc.

 

i will call you tonight

i have a long marathon day once again

i have a family obligation once again

and it takes me an hour each night just to get

ready for the next day! (ironing an outfit, preparing my lunch, etc)

you know...think of all you do and then double it : )

 

so it may be late!

 

 

i texted her i didnt care anymore....it has been 2 years of her nitpicking this,,,(she is a divorcee FEAR!!!)

 

she texted back "good one less thing i have to worry about"

 

i texted her back " i am here for you but iwill not be your punching bag we all have bad days sometimes and thats ok"

 

no response so far.........shes killin me

[babypink61]

It seems like she's just really stressed out and you're really not being very supportive of her emotionally. Perhaps you can try to be more caring and understanding

[RVD001]

Sounds like exactly what I'm going through right now. Work pressure, family pressure, etc. Sadly, people seem to take out their stress on those closest to them. Currently, we're taking things very slow as well and I'm trying my best to be as supportive and understanding as possible. However, there's only so much you can take. I don't have the answer to this problem and I know the anxiety it puts you through. All I can say is be supportive, don't pressure her, let her know you care, but also let her know she can't push you around.

[DN]

I read some of your other posts about this woman and have a real hard time understanding why you are still with her at all.

 

Leave her - now. Never, ever look back. She will do nothing but hurt you for the rest of your life if you stay with her.

[friscodj]

Two years of this? Two years?

 

I've read the other posts too and someone's destined for the psych ward here buddy. Who's it going to be, you or her?

[kickedin]

we had a beautiful date monday night....she said" do you still want me?" i said yes......she said i love you and i am in love with you

 

 

didnt see her for 2 days and bam she gets goofy

 

i texted her where's the girl i fell in love with?

 

she says

 

 

"i don't know ;("

 

havent heard back from her

[bighair]

we had a beautiful date monday night....she said" do you still want me?" i said yes......she said i love you and i am in love with you

 

 

didnt see her for 2 days and bam she gets goofy

 

i texted her where's the girl i fell in love with?

 

she says

 

 

"i don't know ;("

 

havent heard back from her

 

 

 

is your fiance seeing a therapist about her mood swings? it sounds like she suffers from anxiety and depression.....and she is unable to control her feelings and appropriately express her anger.

 

all of these behaviors will kill a relationship because she is not communicating in a healthy way. you have to think about that before marrying her.

 

if you love her deeply, ask her to get therapy, maybe some meds to take the edge off

 

i don't know your story...so, i'm sure i'm missing huge pieces of it.

[kickedin]

should i send this?

 

 

xxxxx,

Basically at this point, it all comes down to what a person wants out of life. From your actions, it is quite clear

to me that you may love and care about me, but are not in-love with me or want to plan a future with me. Sometimes

we can love someone but it doesn't mean we can live with them. I realize xxxx that I do love you, I know what I want

in life too, but you and I are definitely not on the same page. Love is not hard, it is easy when you truly love. You

stand by the person you love and go through the good and bad. Love is patient, kind and not boastful. I do believe

that you have too many issues,complaints in life and too many ups and downs. You change your mind left and right

I cannot take that anymore.

 

Life is too short. It can start to wear on someone.

I know the Lord put me here for a reason, but at the same time he did not intend me to be a punching bad for you or anyone else.

I am doing the best I can in life and must say that I know that will be good enough for someone at sometime.

I believe YOU are not happy with yourself and until your happy with yourself and your present situation, you cannot

be happy with someone else. This going back and forth all the time just isn't healthy for me or anyone. It is better

to find out these things now before going any further. You are not going to change, for what reason, I don't have

that answer and now I know I cannot change you either. I cannot make someone love me, if they truly don't.

When two people fall in-love, they love the person. They don't love them for what they do or can give them in life.

At the end of the day, all you need is love. That is what will get you through anything in life, LOVE!

To be loved is one of the greatest gifts. But some can be too blind to see it. I thought I knew what love was, but

I know that it is not suppose to constantly hurt.

 

I have to get off of this rollercoaster ride for the last time. I can't do it anymore, I am tired and do not have the time

to try and figure you out. It all comes down to this....if someone truly loves you, they wouldn't do anything to hurt you.

I've been hurt one too many times and I am the only one who can stop that from happening. I am at that point.

I want the hurt and frustration to stop and that means moving on with you or without you. You need to do what you

need to do to make yourself happy xxxxx, but I know this situation is not making me happy at all. I have a heart and

my intentions are all good. You are right, I need to start thinking about xxxxxxx and what will make him happy.

What will make me happy is something that I now realize I cannot share with you.....not by my choice, but this is

not a healthy situation for either one of us. I will always care for you and love you, that goes without saying.

I don't want us to go away mad at each other nor do I want to argue anymore, I don't have the strength.

 

I do feel that you need your time to do whatever it is you must do in your life to make you happy. I want to be happy.

This time it is over. I need to realize that. My heart loves, but I must face reality that this will just keep happening

and I need to move on. I don't want to hurt anymore. I wish you all the best that life has to offer.

[Lansing]

ok. I didn't read the whole e-mail .. but... "No" don't send it... No need to insult her regardless of the way she treated you. No need to tell her she has issues for example. I think you should just cut contact...

[Dating Coach]

Run while you can. You are her punching bag. Not because you refuse to argue back, but because you keep trying to make it work when she does this. End it and cut contact.

[Dating Coach]

No. It won't matter. Quit it already it will never change permanantly for the better. If you don't get out now you will seriously regret it when you are married with children.

[friscodj]

After you have really decided that this is it, I think an email would be a good idea but...

 

Express what you are feeling, why you are feeling that way in regards to yourself and the situation, and how you are going to handle these feeling in the way of what you are going to do. No need for turgid ramblings, tangents, put-downs or lectures.

 

And as much as you are doing this for her, realize anything you do that isn't exactly what she wants to hear, when she wants to hear it, in the way she wants to hear it will probably spark a negative response from her. So after you send this, be ready for anything...

[kickedin]

well thursday she called me at night and said " what do you want from me" i said i want a girl who is consistant she started arguing i saod i dont want to fight i am hanging up.......

 

i texted her at lunch on friday that i was going to see my friend in the hospital she said" be caeful" i said "thanks......by the way i miss u" no response so i called her at 930 and left a message to call me back nothing and then this morning i got this.......

 

Please recognize whats going on here i prefer being alone and i want you to STOP making ANY attempts you will not hear from me in any way i feel like i am being swayed and my feelings about loving you and wanting you DONT last and i just dont want this im sorry you need to get into your life and stop hoping and trying its just not the kind of love we deserve i prefer to be left alone and you have to do that trust me i dont want to try BEING W YOU OR SEEING YOU OR COMMUNICATING W YOU in any other way bc i come out like the bad guy bc you like to play victim now you will look bad if you try to see me or communicate w me LET GO its time you face reality you are making me feel bad and very uncomfortable! look i will pray for you daily and i wish you the best i know you can get through this bc you have faith now

 

 

how does someone have such huge mood or actions ina short period on monday and tuesday she was fine happy that we were talking agian missed me and told me she couldnt be with anyone else ever.....i gave her space all week....she held a girls bible study(most girls are single) and the next day bam as like my previous post.......i cannot figure how she can be so gusgy happy and then bam!!!!!! turn into this.....you would think she found out i cheated on her which i never did or would but thats the way she seems to be acting....................... and shes the one that ha been intiating the contact i am so confused

[friscodj]

Dude, I have one question for you and I want you to seriously try to answer it:

 

How many more times do you have to get "kicked in" before you realize you need to get out of this situation?

[kickedin]

Dude, I have one question for you and I want you to seriously try to answer it:

 

How many more times do you have to get "kicked in" before you realize you need to get out of this situation?

 

well i was kicked in in january hard while she was getting divorved....she came back after 4 months and now she sent this there is so much more....but i am just letting this go....i think even if she does call or text or email i will just be flat out cold if she catches me on the phone

 

 

SHE SEEMS VERY UNSTABLE!!!!

[kickedin]

I Have A Hard Time Letting Go Almost Like And Addiction.....

[bighair]

Hi, I don't know your whole story. But, Please let this woman go. You don't want to marry someone who has these emotional problems. She has a history of breaking up with you and getting back with you. It's too much ...to confusing and very, very painful. Let her go.

 

You don't want to marry someone who is emotionally unstable. YOu don't want to bring children into this relationship.

 

She needs therapy, and you need to talk with someone too to help get this behind you and move forward. You also need someone to help you figure out why you are willing to stay with someone who is abusive.

 

I know this sounds glib...it is much easier said than done...i have been there. but, you have to take care of yourself.

[kickedin]

Well A Little History On Her.....she Just Got Divorced In Feb...was Married Over 7 Year Prior To That She Broke Off An Engagement 3 Months Before A Wedding To Another Fiance.......

[kickedin]

You Guys Are Great To Vent To Thanks.....i Just Feel So Guilty Going Out To A Bar Or An Establishment........cause She Always Said To Me " Well I Am Sure If We Broke Up You Will Be Right Back At The Bar Looking Again" When In All Reality I Am Done With That Scene And Would Love To Be Planning A Wedding....or Such....but My Friends All Still Go Out So What Am I To Do > Sit Home Or Go To A Place That I Really Dont Want To Be Cause I Cantbewith Her?

[friscodj]

SHE SEEMS VERY UNSTABLE!!!!

 

What gives you that idea?????

[friscodj]

I Have A Hard Time Letting Go Almost Like And Addiction.....

 

You win the prize my friend, you are addicted to this woman and the rollercoaster ride. I've been there and done that. It's going to be the hardest thing you've ever done to stay away from the crack pipe and no one can do it for you but yourself. Realize that...then do it...

[kickedin]

You win the prize my friend, you are addicted to this woman and the rollercoaster ride. I've been there and done that. It's going to be the hardest thing you've ever done to stay away from the crack pipe and no one can do it for you but yourself. Realize that...then do it...

 

 

an immediate advice for a sat nite

[Dating Coach]

You Guys Are Great To Vent To Thanks.....i Just Feel So Guilty Going Out To A Bar Or An Establishment........cause She Always Said To Me " Well I Am Sure If We Broke Up You Will Be Right Back At The Bar Looking Again" When In All Reality I Am Done With That Scene And Would Love To Be Planning A Wedding....or Such....but My Friends All Still Go Out So What Am I To Do > Sit Home Or Go To A Place That I Really Dont Want To Be Cause I Cantbewith Her?

 

If you are broke up who cares. Quit letting her control your life, especially when she's no longer in it. She doesn't get a say.

 

I really think you need to up that self confidence if you're ever to truly improve your romantic situation. You seem to let yourself get walked on and controlled a bit too much.

[friscodj]

If you are broke up who cares. Quit letting her control your life, especially when she's no longer in it. She doesn't get a say.

 

I really think you need to up that self confidence if you're ever to truly improve your romantic situation. You seem to let yourself get walked on and controlled a bit too much.

 

I couldn't agree more...