Pain filled life

[DeviantOne]

Never will I be the same

Not after all this pain

I have scars up and down my wrist

But the cutting still persist

I try to end my pain filled life

But it's so hard with the knife

I push it down so the blade sinks in

Then I slide so it cuts the skin

No matter how hard I try

I can't seem to f**king die

I can't take this anymore

The pains so hard to ignore

I grab a rope and make it loose

So my head can fit through the noose

I grab the knot and make it tight

Hopefully I can die tonight

I kick and gag for some air

Then I stop as I'm hanging there

I think it worked I see the light

I hope this is my final night

Then I decided it can't end this way

So I cut the rope so I can stay

Now when I sit and cry

I don't wish that I may die

Only that I can ignore the pain

Knowing nothing can be the same

So instead of leaving without a fight

I will live another night

I think ill put the knife away

Hoping the pain wont forever stay

I want to tell you how much I care

But your leaving me it's just not fair

I love you more and more each day

I hate the day you go away

I don't know what I will do

Or if I can live without you

Never will I say goodbye

Not until the day I die

And in that day I hope your there

So I can tell you how much I care

My heart will never get a rest

Cause ill love you even after death

Ill sit in heaven and wait for you

That's how I know my love is true

I hope someday it will be

I wake up and it's you I see

To wake up to you by my side

Is a feeling I could never describe

I doubt my dreams will come true

But I will always love you

It's the day I die

That ill say goodbye

When I lose you ill take out the knife

And wait for you in my after life

[Fallout]

That is a beautiful poem...you do have talent, too bad it comes from sadness and pain..I hope it won't always have to.

[rose2summer]

Hey DO,

 

You are undergoing a great deal of pain.

 

Have you taken measures to stop the cutting?

 

Hugs, Rose

[Ms. Babydoll]

Hope you stop cutting, it'll get you nowhere. Good poem though.

[AnotherBrokenDoll]

Heyz, ok firstly wow! Thats an amazing poem. I totally love it. Everyone so far has said they're sorry you cut and i am to if you do. I have a question to ask though. Is everything you say in your poetry true of is it just the way you write? See i know many people (myself inluded) who write alot about suicide and attempts of the future that they never plan to act on its just the way they vent.

 

Back to your poem though. I totally love it and its really touching because i have felt alot of the pain in your poem so i relate to alot of it.

 

If you ever want to talk just PM me or add my msn address: email removed lame i know!

[DeviantOne]

everything in my poems is true. i write from the heart. i have attempted suicide before, but i was... rescued (if you wanna put it that way). after that my shrink said i should put all my emotions into something productive like poetry instead of taking it out on myself. i still cut though, im trying to stop but its one of the hardest things to do. its like a drug that im addicted too.

[AnotherBrokenDoll]

I totally understand what you mean... Cutting helps even for a little while so you don't want to give up on it. But i am glad you're seeing a shrink and that you are putting your emotions on paper. They make great reads

[DeviantOne]

thank you so much. ita always good to hear that people like my work. oh and i added you to my hotmail.

[Rickster]

DeviantOne, really loved your poem... The poem described the situation I once was in. My scar hasn't faded away yet and I don't think it ever will. But it's a good poem, and I feel your emotions. If it's ok to ask... how did you loose your loved one?