help please

[chichi]

Hello. I have a question. I have met a new girl and we are in love. Well she has contact with her ex still. She tells me "I will always have a love for him." What does this mean? They are broken up completely. During the firts part of our relationship, he would call and text all the time, while they were broken up. She would leave me to go talk to him many times, laughing and joking. I saw a note to her friend that said "I will always love him". She told me she loves me though! We are planning on getting engaged and married. So last night I do something. I think it is the right thing. I tell her "You can either pick to love me or him." If she cant pick then i am not going to be with her. I am not going to propose to her if she still has ANY type of feelings for him. Its too weird. Did I do the right thing? What do i do?

[Beec]

She will always have feelings about him. I last saw the first woman I loved in 1988, and I still have feelings for her. I still care about her. I still have feelings about a woman I last dated in 1993, and who died in 1998. I still have feelings for another woman I last saw in the beginning of 2002. You need to pay attention to how she feels about you, and know she intends to be only with you. The rest of it, just ask her to keep them to herself, and to not talk to him when you are there.

[amtjrtcet]

Beec is right. I still love and care for my ex very much. I left him 10 months ago. But i am happy and in love with my b/f.

[Luck of the Irish]

I disagree. I am in a similar situation. How do you love two people at once? The purpose is to live and LEARN. I am in love with some of the memories of my ex. But I want to make new, better ones. The purpose of a breakup is to move on to something BETTER. I can understand caring for memories, and smiling about them, but I think it is unfair to be in a LTR (marriage, engagement, bf/gf) and have feelings for someone else.

[Beec]

Do you think most people love more than one member of their family? God, I hope so. How do they do that?

 

The feelings aren't the same, but you still care about and for them. You may have moved on, but that does not mean you don't care.

[DN]

What was her answer when you gave her that choice?