The Story

[Loisto]

here's the start-up:

 

Me:

-Im an easy going guy that had easy going life

-Im open minded (which might see me a bit scary)

-i feel that it's good to have free space for me and for my girlfriend.

-I don't really get upset by anything at all.

-Im in a happy mood in my day-offs from work just about 24/7 (2 weeks at work, 1 week off (at work im paid to be serious))

-I think that every relationship should have atleast some depths.

-I usually say my opinion straight up front.

-I don't suffer from... whats the word... (when you see your gf with other guy and you get all furious about it? i'll fix it back here when i know the word ), Completely and Utterly useless to behave that way.

 

Her:

She's adorable, smart, colorful mind.

She's talking... but still not talking.

She's a bit shy and on guard.

She likes me alot. (Heard from her herself and her friends)

 

Thats all i know for the past 6 months of her.

 

Situation:

As i mentioned that every relationship should have atleast some depth so this one day few weeks ago i started feeling that somethings gone wrong.

Phonecalls and texts were Cold... exactly opposite of what it used to be. (Compare to Romeo & Juliet for instance and afterawhile mix it up with Hellraiser Movies)

 

So i told her i had this feeling that somethings gone wrong and after a long silence she told that her ex-bf (whom she was with about 5 years ago) had came for a visit and asked her to get back to him and that she still loves him with all her heart.

 

As for the all the Cold phonecalls, texts and feelingless meetings (from her side) i figured that she's been atleast thinking about it after i heard that.

 

So this is how it all started after she told about the ex-bf:

 

Me: "Why be with me if you love him so much? I wouldn't care much to be Mr. No. 2 on the shelf waiting and watching you being ignorant on me everytime you see or talk to him... You should go to him if you love him."

She: "You can be No. 3 if you want"

Me: *laughed* and went away. (didn't even want to hear my name that was shouted behind my back)

 

Next day she contacted me and wanted to see me so she could tell me few little secrets about her life. (finally i might have some depth on relationship and actually talk with her)

 

The Next Day:

 

We set up a *date* in a early evening in the city. (which ended up that she went all evasive and came to me after waiting like 4 hours. O.o )

She was crying constantly and i saw that prolly was the whole last night too so i felt bad for it. I didn't say much, only waited about what she had to say for me.

 

She bursted in Flames and told some harsh things about her life (which includes the most horrifying things that a man can do to a woman) so i went all locked-up and wished that i'd never had brought up the conversation.

 

When she had told her story she told me she loves me and ran away. o.O

 

I still like her as much as possible as i liked her the very first time i saw her so i called her next day that i'd like to see her and tell a thing or 2. She agreed to see me.

 

I waited...

and waited...

and waited...

and waited... x10000000000 and the i got all frustrated and called her.

She didn't answer the phone so i sent a text that no matter what happened to her it doesn't change the feeling i have towards her.

 

She sent me a text next day that i could come by to her at somepoint tomorrow so i answered that whenever she had time, maybe she could phone or text me and i'll come to see you.

 

Never phoned nor text...

Never saw her again...

 

She really was a unique person with her good and bad sides... Traumatized apparently and i feel really really bad about it but i really would like her back no matter what kind of a history she has.

 

The Present Day!

 

Im pissed off about this matter and i'd like to be with her, yet im not sure how to deal with apparently traumatized people...

 

Should i just wait for her to get over the crisis i caused her by innocently asking her "i have this feeling that somethings gone wrong..." and wait her to contact me (since she's not answering to me at all)

 

or...

 

Should i go forth on my own little green line onto the glorious future where i can enjoy growing old... maybe alone or maybe with someone else

 

or...

 

Should i do some romantic actions like buying truckloads of Flowers and place them all into her yard and wait in the middle of that flower field in a little table with warm coffee and corncake. I did that once already for the sunset but i think she'd like it again for the sunrise.

 

but...

 

i prolly will do them all at same time.

 

yet i have an answer of my own... so this is a story to you all that might have same problems at hand.

 

There is no right solutions for this matter at hand, thus every action leads into some other solution than the one you pictured of.

 

 

My tip to you?

 

Keep all your secrets onto yourselves, women and men.

 

 

Sincerely, Loisto

Darkest Corner of Skandinavia,

where the sun and moon doesn't shine.

Wolfs growls and Polar Bears barks.

 

Ps. Whats up with women when there's a fight going on, these wonderful creatures say "Im tired, maybe tomorrow" and they never really fix the problems at all and vanishes into the night, sometimes for good.

[DizzyDoris]

Wow what a wonderful,understanding man you are! I would say you have to trust your gut instincts on this one, even if they feel bad. Only you know her full depth of problems, but to be honest the signs dont look too good. Actions speak louder than words, ignoring you is cowardly. She has already told you she still loves her ex....and as for you being number 3??? Thats just wrong, you deserve to be someones number 1.

She sounds mixed up but if she wanted you in the same way you want her, she would already be there.

You have made it clear that you are there for her, but she has chosen not to go to you. I know its hard for you but you have already given yourself the best piece of advice.

 

Should i go forth on my own little green line onto the glorious future where i can enjoy growing old... maybe alone or maybe with someone else

 

I would follow this, take time to get over her and move on. Trust me, a man like you who is so open and so good at communicating, will NOT be left on the shelf, there are millions of women out there who would love a partner like you! You have a lot going for you and wont end up alone, there are plenty more fish in the sea, who wont treat you this way.

 

Keep your chin up, and i hope you get over this one and find someone who truly appreciates you x

[Momene]

I think it's time to draw a line under this one and move on. If she can't at least 'phone when she is supposed to, she doesn't have a lot of respect for you. I agree with Doris that you can find someone who can return your feelings.

 

Good luck.

[itsallgrand]

Momene said what I was trying to put into words.

 

Just a heads-up...traumatized people know how to pick up a phone and use basic courtesy too! I should know. Having problems and painful issues is not a free pass for that type of behavior.

 

You can love her, but she needs to be a grown-up too. You're not seeing a child, remember.

 

You seem to have so much to offer and I see you getting cut short.

 

I think the lady you wrote about has a lot of things she needs to work out on her own before she can give what she is receiving. Unfortunately.

 

Take care.

[sparkle1]

I read your post.

 

I wished i could organise my feelings and thoughts into such logical actions.

 

I can see you are in turmoil with regards to contacting her or not.

 

Because of your post, and your ability to see yourself, her and the situation - i (on this 1 occasion) advise you to follow your own instincts....

 

YOu've done nothing wrong. She's not done anything wrong. DOesnt' mean you'll going to run away and always be together - but, it does mean you have no reason to not contact her.

 

If you feel as strongly as you clearly do...then you'll never know unless you try