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I feel like i've hit a brick wall and i dont know what to do!


Ikatu
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Well let me first start off by giving a good background description of the situation.

 

I decided one day to go on one of those dating webistes for the first time, just to try it out. So i met this girl on it who lives in my general area so its not long ditance or anything. Anyways, she initially told me that we could talk on the phone but it would take a while for her to meet me in person. I told her im willing to wait as long as it takes. We've now been talking for just over 8 months, and i still have not yet met her.

 

Things were going well on the phone, we both expressed out interest in each other, telling each other that we both feel a good conection with one another. Then about 2 months ago, i went into this short phase where i think i was just getting frustrated with waiting, and i told her that i dont feel that a relationship is for me, not just with her, but in general. Needless to say she was pretty upset. About a month after i told her this, the feelings that i had for her just came back, but were extremely strong. It just hit me out of nowhere. I told her how i felt, that i really, really liked her and i told her that i was changed and if she was still interested that i feel like i can now enter a relationship. She told me that there was still a chance, so i was relieved to an extent.

 

Now, everyday that pass's, my feelings for her just seem to get stronger and stronger. Its just getting to the point that all i think about day and night is her. I dont think i've felt like this about another girl ever before. So i've tried asking her recently if she feels she's ready to meet yet, and she said "maybe soon, but i dont think im ready just yet. I just need more time". Now i dont know, she tells me she still likes me, but she isnt ready to meet. She even told me once that she thinks she is falling for me, and i told her the same. But its still taking a long time to get started. I just have all these feelings for her trapped inside me and dont know how to handle it.

 

I guess what im looking for here is just a little advice about what i should do.

The fact that i like her as much as i do, i just feel stuck, because i want to show her how much i want to be with her, but since i cant visit her in person that the only thing i can do is express to her just how much im into her, but at the same time i feel that if i do, it might scare her away. I know the only way im really gonna know if me and her are gonna end up together is by actually meeting up and seeing how things go, but the fact that i know that it might take a long time, i dont know if i can hold it all in. And in a way, im not 100% sure about it, but i feel as if she's holding back on purpose. Almost as if, she really likes me, wants to meet me, but there's a reason in her head that she wants to hold off for a bit, so she's just holding back.

 

Anybody out there reading this have any idea's? Do i tell her how i feel now, or try to hold it in until we meet up in person and see how things go?

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I guess what im looking for here is just a little advice about what i should do.

Dating websites are a tool to MEET people.

 

Stop all contact with this woman immediately. She is playing games with you and quite likely with other men as well.

 

im not 100% sure about it, but i feel as if she's holding back on purpose.

I would bet my bottom dollar that she is doing this on purpose.

 

In future do not enter into any correspondence with someone who is not willing to meet up in person. Of course it is not going to be immediate, but a few weeks of chatting/talking should be more than enough for someone to decide if they're ready to meet up or not. If not, then move on.

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Well i definitely see where your coming from, i do feel sometimes as if she's playing games, and i have thought about just giving it all up and just looking elsewhere, but the thing is, she's in my opinion, a very unique girl, she seems to be one of the most honest people i know and have ever met. The thing too, which is why she's holding back is because she has had a lot of hard times in her life, i know many people have, but she seems to be worse off than most people. A lot of the people she seems to get really close to just end up hurting her, and not just relationships, friends and family too. So she's very guarded in that respect. Thats why she's doing this. And for me, even if she's playing games i feel that being the person i am, i dont screw with people's heads and i try to make sure that i always take people's feelings into considderation, and i'd hate to be just another one of those people that really screw's her over, even if were just friends in the long run. I just feel that no matter what happens between us, i want to be the kind of person who doesnt treat her the way she's been treated in the past, which is why, ultimately, i dont think i can just stop talking to her.

 

Its just that i really need to know at the very least if i should just tell her exactly the way i feel about her, or if i should just let it be for the time being... She knows i like her, but not anywhere near as much as i do.

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