this is it! picnic with a girl

[sfboi415]

It was her idea, and I'm going to do everything to make our outing wonderful. MY GAMEPLAN: We're going to hike in a park away from the city, picnic, and I've thought of bringing along a portable CD player where we could dance to some music that we might like. I've thought of putting lavendar leaves or something that's romantic (but not so romantic that it scares her) in the picnic basket..or surprising her with flowers as I bring out the food.

 

My question is about my verbal flirting and conversations with her..I've already made a list of the non-verbal ways that I can flirt with her (light touching on the shoulder, stuff like that) but talking to her might be an issue. She told me over the phone that she wasn't interested in seeing this guy..but she didn't exactly say "I want to date you now". Instead she's agreed to hang out with me more. When we talk, naturally we'll talk about a variety of things but these are the topics that I really want to focus on while we're picnicking:

 

• Status of her and the other guy
  
• Her current view on relationships
  
• Relationship or dating or sex-related talk (nothing too serious)

What I'm hoping is that our outing will set the stage for further get-togethers, (like watching a romantic adventure DVD movie like "Hero" at her place) which might lead to romance. I know that I have to communicate that I want to like her as more than a friend. For example I've decided to hold her hand as soon as we begin to hike.

 

I would really appreciate some needful advice..just wanted to see if I'm heading in the right direction. Thanks!

[NJRon]

My opinion, if you are hoping to set the stage for future get togethers, go easy... don't go overboard with the romance. in fact, I would probably avoid is (but that's my personal choice). I also wouldn't try and steer the conversation anywhere in particular. Just hang out and enjoy the moment. If you both have an enjoyable and relaxing time together, then that will lay the foundation for future times.

 

If she hasn't even said that she wants to date you yet, I wouldn't jump all over her with your first opportunity to relax... give it some air to breath.

[heloladies21]

This date you've set up is something I'd do for a one year aniversary. In other words it's way too serious, especially for someone who hasn't agreed to date you yet, let alone date you exclusively. The whole thing needs to be more casual or it will freak her out because you'll be communicating to her that you're trying too hard to win her affection.

 

Calm down with all the romance, drop the flowers and cd from the picture for now, and lighten things up. Talking about relationships is fine, but I have a feeling that it's going to come accross too serious the way you're doing it. You gotta relax and realize that this chick isn't your gf just yet.

[Scout]

Alright, well, I'm going to give you a female point of view here...your date idea sounds awesome. The only thing I would cut out of it are the topics you want to discuss. They completely conflict with the fun, romantic setting you're planning, believe it or not. They add too much an element of pressure, and basically say: I'm providing this romantic setting because I want to be in a relationship with you NOW.

 

It's way too soon to inject those feelings - even indirectly.

 

But your other ideas rock! What a cool sounding date.

[Scout]

I know that I have to communicate that I want to like her as more than a friend.

 

And trust me, if you're taking her on a picnic as thoughtfully arranged as you're doing, she'll KNOW you like her more than a friend. You don't have to tell her. A little light touching on the shoulder, on the waist, etc. will also get your point accross, just don't overdo it, two times should do the trick.

 

Keep the conversation focused on getting to know more about her interests and lifestyle, rather than her beliefs on relationships. Let those topics unfold a bit once you have a good idea she's interested in you, NOT on this date.

[leftonadoorstep]

I think you're doing too much - the whole idea sounds really, really romantic and lovely, but like heloladies said it's not like she's said that she wants to date you exclusively, or that she's your gf.

I'd cut out the flowers and the holding her hand - like Scout said, she'll KNOW that you like her as more than a friend if you take her on a picnic, especially one so thoughtful.

For me, this would freak me out if I was in her position. If she likes you as more than a friend, it may seem too soon. If she doesn't see you as more than that...

But this is a perfect date if things get more serious.

[sfboi415]

Picnic got cancelled. She wanted to reschedule for next weekend on a Sunday. It's going to be warmer anyways.

 

 

So, now I have a full week and I've taken all of your advice into consideration. Flowers would be too much, but I have to think of something that's sweet and touching for her without making her feel on-guard. The small boombox playing her favorite kind of music and salsa music is a go, because it will add something to the picnic after a long hike.

I won't mention anything about her current romance situation, even though I have to know what's up with her. However she might involuntarily tell me that she's dating a guy anyway.

 

It stinks that I don't have a guitar and I can't play several songs for her. The least I can do while on the hike is dedicate a pretty wild flower to her.