How do you get a guy to be more romantic?!?!?!

[Japanfreak05]

How do you get a guy to be more romantic??????

 

My boyfriend is not romantic what-so-ever and I'd LOVE for him to be more romantic. I'm talkin about, doing things just because he wants to, just because he can. like getting flowers, sending sweet texts, etc. I'm always getting him stuff out of the blue, but it never gets returned. Like I bought him some shades that he really wanted, and a few weeks ago I sent him an email about how much he means to me (all he could say was "i feel the same way"). Like he never does anything like what i do for him. Can't he take the hint

 

We have been together for over a year (1 1/2) so maybe he's just comfortable. If I can't find a way to get him to be more romantic I guess I'll just have to deal with it.....boooooooo. lol Maybe I'm being too demanding of him, but it's not much to ask for!! I know guys won't know what we want unless we tell them sometimes, but I don't want to flat out tell him "hey be more romantic" I kinda want him to do it on his own

[NJRon]

Poeple show love in different ways. You are showing yours through gifts. How does he show his? Do you appreciate it?

 

You can't just want someone to do something without actually telling them. People aren't mind readers. And, I would not be generic like "be more romantic" even if you decided to go that route. You should provide specific examples... and not too many at once.

[TheRedQueen]

I dated a guy for a long time whose idea of romance consisted of having a quickie in a gas station bathroom, seriously.

 

I confronted him plenty of times regarding his major lacking in romance skills, to which he would respond with a "well I guess I'm just not that romantic" remark.

 

And truth be told, I think he was being honest. Some guys are more inclined to being romantic than others.

[rose2summer]

I would choose the sweet guy over the gift buyer any day.

 

If he isn't showering you with gifts, it may just not be his method of showing he loves you.

 

You can hint at it but I wouldn't draw attention to it because he may think you are being materialistic.

 

Hugs, Rose

[Beec]

I think the others are right. He may just not be romantic. So long as he is honest, I would not worry too much about how he feels. If you thought he was lying about how he feels, that should bring a quick exit.

 

However, you get someone to do things like this by getting them to want to do things like this. Asking for specifics is probably not a good idea. But placing the idea in his head might be. Let's say you wanted him to buy you lingerie. Sit down with a Frederick's catalog and flip through it, and then while you are, ask him what he likes. If he says he likes something and it is ok, let him know you might wear it if you had it. And if he gets it, let him know you really appreciate it.

 

Anything he does that you like, show him appreciation to encourage.

[Japanfreak05]

I buy him things every once in a while. Like the glasses, that was a few weeks ago. So it's not always material things, I like sentimental things more.

 

We both work so when I have a day off, he's still at work. So I'll send him little "i love you" texts and stuff sometimes while he's at work. Sometimes when I have to work after he gets off, I'll send him an email for him to read when he gets home. Just talking about my day or whats on my mind or how I much love him. I'll get home from work, and he doesn't even respond to the emails. Nor did he send me a single text while I was at work. Like I do for him. I don't even know if he ever even gets my emails sometimes. He doesn't say anything about them. (I sent my last one last month, and the only thing he said about it was "i feel the same way"....) I've already talked to him about the email thing a while back, but nothing's changed.

 

Just dont know what to do about it. I stoped sending him emails, but i still send him texts. Sometimes I just need that little reminder to let me know he's still feelin me. but I don't get it. I guess he shows his love by paying my cell phone bill, or paying for me when we go out. He likes money, but i guess he's not a sentimental romanitc guy, which is what i'd like. *shrug*

[Japanfreak05]

well dang Beec that was pretty good. I guess I'll have to try that out....ugh. lol

[Momene]

I think "romance" isn't as important as things like trust. I think the media put too much on it. My wife did appreciate my latest bunch of flowers, though.

[JenS]

You are right, you can't change him..but you can always leave hints for him. Tell him that you would like flowers sometime next month. You will invariably forget about it and he will "surprise" you. It is at least worth a shot. You could always buy flowers for him and tell him that he could do it for you every once in awhile...hinting is never bad...but teaching him works also.

[Honey Pumpkin]

One tip from a friend of mine about this - apologies for any crudeness here. Any time he does something you really like, show him how MUCH you appreciate it! If you see what I mean. So that he really likes how much you like what he does. So, for me, it would be passionate kissing for a bunch of flowers, and generally being enthusiastic. Because to be honest, that would put me in the mood.

 

Agree with all the others, though, in the great scheme of things that isn't the most important thing in a relationship - loyalty, fidelity, trust and commitment will last long beyond the flowers that have faded and died.

 

Good luck!

[truthbetold]

Romance is great...my boyfriend doesn't totally lack the romance thing, but it's not as much as I would like. I still love him for trying. Occasionally I'll get an e-mail just just simply says I love you, or a random rose (although he has yet to find a blue one for me).

 

I know how you feel about the romance thing I never wanted to blatantly tell him to be more romantic or tell him what to do. One time I said while we were just casually talking I would really like it if you just randomly called me to tell me you loved me or something. So sure enough the next day while he was out he called me I said hi, he said hi, I said what's up, he said nothing, I said then why did you call, he said because I just wanted to tell you that I love you. It was good, but I felt like he was only doing it because I asked him to. (Plus it would've been better if I didn't have to ask him why he was calling me lol) I would stay away from asking and making do the little hinting thing like Beec said with the catalog.

[NJRon]

My husband installed a hose on the back deck for me so I wouldn't have to drag the one from behind the house to water the flowers.

 

Now *that's* love. I replummed the entire basement so that I could install a washer and dryer so my then gf didn't have to do my laundry at the laundromat...

[Momene]

If your name is Samantha Stevens, you can just wiggle your nose and he'll be as romantic as you like.