I just moved

[lil_unique_me]

Alright, well i just moved like an hour and a half away from my whole family and friends and boyfriend and i miss them all soooo much, all i have is my flatmates at the moment, and theres only one girl as well. So im in a flat of 10 with only 1 girl.

Thing is, ive gelled with one of my flatmates, hes cool, and im in the process of gelling with another, i just dont think that 2 friends are gonna be enough considering im not gonna go home for a couple of weeks just so that i can get used to this place. Im just so scared that im not gonna make any friends, and i just wanna make friends, but i just hope that theyre idea of a social life doesnt centre around alchohol, cos im not a huge drinker, and i just like to talk and watch movies, listen to music and stuff like that, just hang out, and have the odd drink, i mean lets face it alchohol costs money that i just dont have.

Has anyone got any tips on ways to break the ice, especially since im now on freshers week, which is apparently the most important week to make friends before your course starts.

I dont know, im just so scared and i guess its cos i only moved down here 12 hours ago and my mum only left about 8 hours ago, so ive been sat here apart from going out for an hour with a couple of flatmates, and ive been worrying and analysing way too much, which is a big thing that i shouldnt do, cos i just think way too much.

Anyway, if you can get what the hell im tryna say in this post, please give me tips, or just send me best wishes or something like that.

Thanks people.

Catie xxx

(sorry if its a big long, its been the longest post ive ever done, or at least for a long long time lol)

[arwen]

Hey girl,

 

I can very much relate to your situation. 6 months ago I got a job offer in the North of my country, and had to move 250 km away from all my friends. I already lived 60 km away from my parents, that is 300 km now.

 

It's hard in the beginning. You don't know the people around you, and have to get used to living in a new place. But it will get better, REALLY! After a while you will meet people that share your interests, your bf and family will come to visit, trust me, they won't forget you, you're much too important to them!

 

It also takes time to make new friends. Did you move because of study? In uni/college it's relatively easy to make new friends, when I moved to the town where my uni was, it took a few months. But a LOT of people start uni around the same time, and have the same problem to be without their friends. I'd recommend to join some organised things directly. Like sports or some community.

 

As for the flatmates, I moved from sharing a house with my best friend and my current bf to a bigger appartment building, where I share a hallway and toilets with 14 others. It's very quiet because most of them are either finishing masters or like me working for a PhD. But there are only 2 other girls. I am friends with one of them, and two of the men who live nextdoor. Just get acquainted to them, introduce yourself and ask them what they are studying etc. It will make you feel a lot more at home once you get to know the people who surround you.

 

Hug!

 

Ilse

[itsallgrand]

Hi lil unique me

 

I can relate too. It's totally normal to be a bit scared and anxious. Your flat mates are probably feeling the same way. It's new, you're still getting used to your surroundings.

 

It really does get better - I promise. The first day or two is the hardest. But you know what...you've already gelled with one person, and making friends with another - I'd say that's pretty good! You're going to be just fine.

 

Are you staying in a house, or dorm, or ..? I'm trying to imagine the set-up.

 

For a while, I was living in a big house with several men. Imagine that! lol. It was a bit strange at first, bc I was always used to living with at least one other girl. But, it turned out that the guys were easy to talk to and we had a lot in common. If there's a shared kitchen or 'common area' then you'll have plenty of opportunities to chat and get to know each other.

Most people do a lot of the same sorts of things: so you can always share that. Things like movies, having to eat, music, chatting, what is going on with school and friends.

 

Good luck! Every day will get easier.

[friscodj]

A few thoughts here:

 

1) It might be helpful to plan a trip home in advance, say for this weekend. Mark it in your calendar and really focus on this trip. Get happy and psyched about it while at the same time, going out, meeting people, and focusing on your coursework all with the knowledge in the back of your mind in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 days you will be back at home.

 

Maybe do this for a few weekends then maybe skip a weekend, go home in 2 weeks instead of 1. Still plan ahead and get psyched about your trip, only the trip is 10, 9, 8, ..., 2, 1 days in advance now. Sort of wean yourself away from home like this...

 

And you know what I bet will happen in a month or two? You won't want to go home as much! I bet that happens once you make new friends at school (which you definitely will... ) and your schedule fills up with exams, homework, etc.

 

2) In between these trips, ask your boyfriend or other friends to come visit. When you get the association in your mind of these people close to you in this new place with you, and make some new memories of these people with you in this new place, the new place will feel more like home.

 

3) Get involved in a sport to keep yourself healthy and busy. Exercise is a great form of therapy. Plus you'll meet people this way too.

 

4) Realize it could be worse, a lot worse. I joined the military at 18 and went from having home cooked meals and my mom doing my laundry to having some 6'2" 200-pound drill sergeant yelling in my face surrounded by complete strangers in a place I'd never been before 2000 miles away...overnight.

 

So my point is look at the bright side here! It could be 2, 3, 5, 6 hours to home and you have the freedom to do whatever you want at your new location! You've got it good!

[Spugly Fuglet]

Hiya

Well Unie where should I start, OK im a post grad and can see it from this side now.

 

at 18 your mum and dad droped you off in your halls / falt and there you are with a load of strangers. O the horra, no not really in the next 3 years you are going to make life long freands, met girls and guys who will change your life and deal with staff who will drive you nuts.

 

Things for the under grad to know

 

1: DRINK, most deal with there 1st year at uni buy drinking them selfs happy, this can be a big problem, get to drunk and there will be tears.

Inept men use drink to pull so whach woth others are handing out, Some 3ed year guys see freshers week as a hunting gound for young girls, so keep an eye on them, (im not saying dont have a good time just whach out for spiked drinks)

 

2 "So what where your gades at school" convosation, this is very uncool grades mean littil of nothing now, your in and thats all that counts, working to that 1st and 2;1 is all that matters. So dont ask and if some one askes you smile and say "it dont matter any more, let talk about you"

 

3: Argumants, if your sharing a flat house or halls, make ever one know there space from others, and have a rota for joint work, that way mummys slackers get outed and get working. I hall/flat/house can be a home if you all work to make it so. Last think you need is to come home from a hard day at Unily to a messy home.

 

4: BF/GF if your in a shared space dont sit in the front rooms sucking there face off for all you house mates to see, take it some place of your own. You may think its ok but believe me it winds up others a treat of there relashonshin in a hard time or there missing the BF/GF back home.

 

5: Say hi to every one, get to know whos around you and let them talk to you about them selfs.

 

6: Mummy and dady, ARE GONE! thats right there back home and your here on your own, which means YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU LIKE! right!

Wrong! there are others around who may find you fixing you mountin bike in the bath tub some what upseting, or playing your fave band at 2am becuse your BF just dumped you some one unseting to. So think of others as well as your self

 

7: Eat well, dont eat out of the bag meals, learn to cook start small and work your way up, dont save cash on food, after a bad day a good meal can sort you out a treat.

 

8 best and only way to deal with a hang over is drink lots and lots of water BEFOR! you go to bed. Rehydrate big time and trust me that thumping head will not be any where nears as bad.

 

9: SUNDAY DINNER! if your sharing a house/flat/halls orginase every sunday a big old dinner where you all sit down at eat as a family, this after a saterday on the raz can be the thing to get the hungover out of bed and chating. Also is a group ativerty get evry one working. See most of us one food dish we can make.

 

10: 1st 4 weeks at Unie, are a right off, sorry but you will be finding out where rooms are, getting passwords and logons, Libary cards, meeting the staff, Note get to know the School offace staff asap, teaching staff normaly have now idear whats going on but you school oface staff know every thing talk to them get to know them.

 

11; Get your bed room on the net ASAP, most uniys now put there couse work on line, thats a god send to the late sleeper.

 

12: Resherchars , thats me, most academics have poor reserchers slaveing away on there work, reserchers are garte to talk to about your area of intarest and all also talk about there job pathways, remember the is a life after uniy

 

13: Mum and dad, ring them 2 x a week Sunday and wensday, start now dont ring them every day they will just worry your not coping, but if your having problems call start away and talk it throw with them.

 

14: Old mates from school, keep in tuch with them email letters this can help a lot and you can share stuff.

 

15: Shower every day, This ones for the guys, I know slacking after an all knighter in the clubs is fun but smelly is not. Also underware smell after the 2ed day so larndray.

 

16: Reg with a Doc and dentist keep there info on you,

 

17: SAFE SEX! ill say that again SAFE SEX! this is a must, not just for Hypititest, HIV etc but also the last thing you need now is children,

This is also some thing to remember about drink to much and you may have a little acsedent 9 mouths later.

 

18: DRUGS! There cool, hip, and your all growed up so you know what your doing right, WRONG! Drugs can take over your life, if you try them know this befor you do, your taking your life in your hands and there is a good chance you may lose it.

 

19: which leads to pear presher, thats right the cool kids are back, they drink to much, do drugs, do mad stunts in fast cars and you should do as they do right? WRONG! cool kids wise up real fast or become dead kids.

I have seen it time and again, taking risks is fun but your are still taking risks part of growing up in know when to take risks and when not to.

Standing on a speeding car wile drinking a can of beer is a NOT TO!

 

20: Beyour self, yoru going to have a grate time do it as yourself, be strong and others will see you as that, Be true to who you are.

 

well there you go my mabe good tips

 

HAve a grate time