thoughts on profile blocking??

[gavindark]

My ex broke up with me around 5 months ago. I was devestated, but am now doing much better. The past 2 months, I have been completely ignoring her. She imed me a few weeks ago, to which I responded with only 1 word answers.

 

I've been thinking of blocking her access to all my online profiles (AIM, facebook, etc.) However when thinking about it, it seems that this only gives the impression that I'm still constantly thinking about her. And maybe by not blocking her at all, it shows that I really just don't give a damn.

 

What are everyone's thoughts on this issue?

[Closure]

The fact you wrote this means you're still thinking about her.

 

The best way to block someone is to not speak to them, you don't need clicks on a computer to do that.

 

When she contacts you, minimise the IM and let her talk to herself.

 

That's what i'd do.

[NJRon]

I typically think that you should do what is good for you. To bring her into the equation is just doing what you are trying to avoid... namel you are still letting her affect your actions.

 

For AIM and messengers, I believe that you can set to ignore and/or invisible to that user. I don't know wbout facebook though.

 

Do what you gotta do for you.

[joyce1412]

for messenger, i think the best thing is just to delete your ex's screen name from your buddy list, unless you think she's going to continue to IM you (it's only helpful if your ex doesn't initiate contact).

 

if you're worried she'll be offended about being blocked, change your screen name and don't let her know you changed it. then she can't interpret it as being about her.

[sparkle1]

Am i missing something here? I thought if you blocked someone they couldn't tell anyway!?

 

If you don't want to talk to her, then block and delete my friend. Then all tempation to unblock will be removed.....

[friscodj]

I definitely think you should block her. You speak of "showing" you don't give a damn but you really do, so why play games with yourself?

 

Seriously, having the peace of mind knowing they can't contact you does wonders for me. That little bit of doubt as to what they are doing, thinking, etc. is helpful. Plus, the little bit of control over the situation helps you "get on top" of the situation too...

 

You don't need to be swayed in your direction on this situation by surprise messages here-and-there. How can they possibly help you once you have decided which direction to take with this? They will only serve to confuse you and stir up feelings you are trying to compartmentalize.

 

You simply do not want to know...IM, email, voice mail, letters, anything...

[friscodj]

Am i missing something here? I thought if you blocked someone they couldn't tell anyway!?

 

Pretty much all blocking is done anonymously. It wouldn't make sense otherwise.

 

If you change your email, change your phone number, etc. in which case the old contact info doesn't, however, they will get a message saying their communication didn't go through in one form or another.

[whoops]

i changed my bf name on my phone to limeyba00000 it makes me laugh if it rings and reminds me of the lies and not to answer the call -

[sparkle1]

LOL at whoops - brilliant idea!!

[friscodj]

i changed my bf name on my phone to limeyba00000 it makes me laugh if it rings and reminds me of the lies and not to answer the call -

 

You should customize the ring tone to be that popular circus song...you know the one I'm talking about...

[joyce1412]

Am i missing something here? I thought if you blocked someone they couldn't tell anyway!?

 

you can't tell, BUT, but if your ex wonders if she's being blocked and then goes a different screen name and your name shows up on the buddy list of THAT screenname...

 

i know that's how it works on AIM at least. if you suspect someone has blocked you, there are ways to figure it out.

 

it just depends on how much you care what she thinks. personally, i wouldn't want to give my ex the satisfaction.

[friscodj]

Am i missing something here? I thought if you blocked someone they couldn't tell anyway!?

 

you can't tell, BUT, but if your ex wonders if she's being blocked and then goes a different screen name and your name shows up on the buddy list of THAT screenname...

 

i know that's how it works on AIM at least. if you suspect someone has blocked you, there are ways to figure it out.

 

it just depends on how much you care what she thinks. personally, i wouldn't want to give my ex the satisfaction.

 

You can keep blocking the different screen names of change yours altogether.

 

Plus, if they are blocked, you don't know how they feel anyway! Even if they are being "satisfied" by being blocked like this...

 

And someone "wondering" if they're blocked and chaging their name like this is a little bit of a stretch. If they care that much and go to that length, they need a therapist and not a partner...and they're better off blocked anyway...

[joyce1412]

haha. good point, frisco. but if he's eager to not seem bitter about things, then blocking could indicate that he is.

 

i recommend changing your screenname because that's the surest way to make sure she never IM's you again! the bonus is that you can also "forget" to tell anyone else who annoys you that you've changed your SN. two birds with one stone.

[friscodj]

haha. good point, frisco. but if he's eager to not seem bitter about things, then blocking could indicate that he is.

 

Could indicate to who? A crazy person? And he is bitter perhaps, let him be bitter, let it play out so it doesn't stick around and poison future relationships with women who are actually sane.

 

Who cares what the "perception" is. This isn't a game, isn't a showdown with his ex, this is him doing what he needs to do to heal...

 

When you're laying in a hospital bed, you aren't worried about how your make-up looks...

[joyce1412]

mmm, that's not completely what i was driving at, so chill out.

 

yes, i do think it could make him seem bitter toward the ex, but it's more about his own feelings about the idea. if he has no qualms about blocking her, then he can block away. whatever. but he clearly feels conflicted about doing it.

 

i like the changing the screenname idea because it makes you feel like you have a fresh start...which is even better than blocking.

[friscodj]

it just depends on how much you care what she thinks. personally, i wouldn't want to give my ex the satisfaction.

 

No, you said it right here.

[gavindark]

so i went ahead and blocked her on facebook, and almost immediately i got an IM from her asking if i had seriously blocked her. she made me feel so bad that i added her as a friend again. i ddint want to seem bitter, but i think i did, and now i feel so bad about everything. i just want her to stop conactinng me and let me be for a bit. ive made this clear to her that i need some time to get over things before i can be "just" a friend. she knows this, yet she makes me feel bad for not wanting to be friends, for blocking her. i am not over her, i am 100% aware of that. however im almost to the point where i dont want her back. it's almost an ego thing now, where im just insulted that although i have no diea if she's with someone else now, that she probably prefers someone else's exclusive company to mine.

 

i realize taht the relationship recently became long distance before she decided to end things, but it hurts me to think it wasnt worth it to her to give it a try. yea i'm still young, (almost 24), but 3 years was a long time to be with someone and then have them walk away so easily. and not only that, but she wants to be friends, like its nothing to her. she expects me to just forget everything and be a friend. i wish i had never met her, and i wish i had never started dating her.

[friscodj]

Hey GD!

 

Read what you wrote here! This woman is selfishly manipulating you! Look at it! Making you feel bad and emotionally blackmailing you to be her "friend". Disgusting!

 

And she can contact you ad infinitum my friend, but...

 

You don't have to read her contacts or answer them!

 

So why do you continue to do so? A little hope that she will want you back? Can't quite come to grips with the finality of the situation and cut it clean for good?

 

I know how you feel man but she has your balls in a leash. This is straight-up pathetic dude. Sack up and start taking care of yourself. Quit basing your actions on her perceptions of them! Look yourself in the mirror and realize someone needs to take care of the person you see...

 

Another lesson I have learned the hard way...

 

You cannot win someone's heart by "being there" for them!