super_dave0001 Posted September 22, 2006 Share Posted September 22, 2006 ok so i was offline of msn for 2 days, then i came on 1 night an my ex jumped at me with a msg " i need to talk to u" so i waited like 5 minutes to reply, i said "um go for it" she then msged me appoligising (sorry for my spelling lol) for the way she was treating me after the break up, that she feels bad and that i was a big part of her life and that she wants to be on good terms and friends..... she then went on to say how she wasnt forcing anything on me and that she wasnt expecting to be given forgivness for the way she was being to me.... that pretty much sums it up... i didnt end up responding to her... so today i come online again n she was on but again i didnt msg her... she msged me asking how my family was of all things, n i just said there fine.... im confused, wut does all this mean? this appology.... i dunno wut to think about it Link to comment
tangovito Posted September 23, 2006 Share Posted September 23, 2006 2 things. 1. Forgive her. You will feel great and she will respect you a lot. It is rare to find magnanimity. 2. Women have lot of things going on in their body which are vastly undulating. You might not understand it ; for example how often men think of sex and how often women think of sex? ratio is 10:1 !!!!! This is over simplification. Finally it depends on the context and the neuro-physiology Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted September 23, 2006 Share Posted September 23, 2006 Just keep ignoring her. She's feeling guilty, and wants you to help relieve her own anxiety. It will do no good to talk to her right now. You can have my 100% guarantee on that. Link to comment
stopit Posted September 23, 2006 Share Posted September 23, 2006 What exactly were the terms on which you two broke up? Do you actually think you can forgive her for whatever she did? That's really strange - this is all out of the blue? Maybe she felt a suddent pang of guilt because something went wrong in some other area of her life and she needs to be reprieved of this in order to lessen the net burden? It could be anything really. I think the best thing you can do right now is be honest with yourself and with her about forgiving her. No point in misleading her if you are actually willing to forgive her, and no sense in harming yourself by giving it when you're in no position to do so. When confused, it's generally best to talk to the source about it. Ask her why the sudden apology. I'm assuming that you two are friendly given you still chat with her on msn, so confront her about it to clear things up. Link to comment
super_dave0001 Posted September 23, 2006 Author Share Posted September 23, 2006 Just keep ignoring her. She's feeling guilty, and wants you to help relieve her own anxiety. It will do no good to talk to her right now. You can have my 100% guarantee on that. hmmmm?? i just finished talking to her online, she started the convos i ended up asking her if she was happy apart, she said she is and that she thinks it was best...... now if shes being honest or not is hard to tell over msn, but keep in mind that she broke up with me 2 weeks ago and at that time she claimed she needed time to herself... gimme a break... 2 weeks? and ur ready to talk as "friends" she said she still loves me and cares for me, dosent want anything bad to happen to me, cause she knows im going for my motorcycle lisense and she dont like that..lol i ended up telling her i needed to talk to her but i needed time to think about wut i need to say to her, she kinda freaked out trying to get it outta me, not in a bad or mean way btw... but i said no anyways im confused on wut shes doing, or thinking in that little pee brain of hers lol... is she trying to slowly get back into things with me by being friends but not trying to make it obvious that she wants me back...? any ideas or insite would be greatly appreaciated..... Link to comment
super_dave0001 Posted September 23, 2006 Author Share Posted September 23, 2006 What exactly were the terms on which you two broke up? Do you actually think you can forgive her for whatever she did? she broke up with me because she said she felt bord in this realationship, that it was rutien and she wasnt feeling the spark anymore, we were going out for just under 6 years... but its only bin 2 weeks since the break up..... when she told me she wanted time to be by herself...all this time ment 2 meesssssly weeks? Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted September 23, 2006 Share Posted September 23, 2006 Ohhhh. Never mind, then. lol. How can someone be your ex if you're still chatting it up? Silly. Link to comment
super_dave0001 Posted September 23, 2006 Author Share Posted September 23, 2006 Ohhhh. Never mind, then. lol. How can someone be your ex if you're still chatting it up? Silly. huh? lol she talks to me, she broke up with me 2 weeks ago, but wanted to be friends, i did the nc thing..... but she kept pestering me when id come online, its starting to sound complicated lol but no were not together that i assure u of.... i even asked her this "so all of a sudden were talking again?" cause i figured when she wanted time it would be a hella lot longer.. and she said "yes as friends" Link to comment
TheGetUpKid Posted September 23, 2006 Share Posted September 23, 2006 Given the length you two were together, she wants to feel as though she is still a part of your life. And like what the others have said, she may feel guilty or bad about ending the relationship. Link to comment
super_dave0001 Posted September 23, 2006 Author Share Posted September 23, 2006 Given the length you two were together, she wants to feel as though she is still a part of your life. And like what the others have said, she may feel guilty or bad about ending the relationship. im starting to wonder tho if shes i dunno, trying to get me to get back with her sum how, but starting out as friends again.... it just seems so fast tho 2 weeks and shes rushing into a friendship... im still here greeving lol, not a desperate greeve, but 1 none the less maybe she dosent even feel this way, its just the impression im getting... Link to comment
TheGetUpKid Posted September 23, 2006 Share Posted September 23, 2006 im starting to wonder tho if shes i dunno, trying to get me to get back with her sum how, but starting out as friends again.... it just seems so fast tho 2 weeks and shes rushing into a friendship... im still here greeving lol, not a desperate greeve, but 1 none the less maybe she dosent even feel this way, its just the impression im getting... Its a possibility that she may want to get back with you, but if she was serious about being with you, I feel she would've said something about getting back together instead of saying she wanted to be "friends". I agree that two weeks is really too soon to go from a relationship (especially if you two were together for 6 years) to just a friendship. Link to comment
super_dave0001 Posted September 23, 2006 Author Share Posted September 23, 2006 Its a possibility that she may want to get back with you, but if she was serious about being with you, I feel she would've said something about getting back together instead of saying she wanted to be "friends". I agree that two weeks is really too soon to go from a relationship (especially if you two were together for 6 years) to just a friendship. possibly, but its also possible that she would be to embaressed to admit that... who knows, i could just be kidding myself, this is so stressful trying to figure out the opposite sex, u never no wut they want or mean when they say sumtin to u...there always seems to be secret hiddin msgs in the words they speak.... y cant they just say wut they mean n mean wut they say? just say it black or white, none of this shade of gray b.s. i guess that would just make things too easy Link to comment
super_dave0001 Posted September 23, 2006 Author Share Posted September 23, 2006 so like i said earlier i told her i wanted to talk to her today... that i needed time to think, and for it not to let wut i have to say bother her cause i didnt give her any idea about wut it is... she told me it wouldnt effect her she was gonna be out drinking to much to think about it... she knows i hate that ! anyways, i still dont really no wut i wanna say to her... its supposed to be about where we stand, and hopefully she will tell me wut shes feeling about me and US... i also wanna ask her y the sudden apology and y shes suddenly talking to me as a "friend" only 2 weeks after our break up of 6 years.... personally im not ready for this friendship... the break up is still to fresh. this is y it leads me to wonder if there is alterior motive here... but the fact that she told me shes happy apart hits hard aswell... like i said who knows if its the truth or not... i bin having messed up dreams too lately, that me an my ex r out on a nice romantic date n were both happy lol oh god i think ive gone insane.... Link to comment
whoops Posted September 23, 2006 Share Posted September 23, 2006 NC her - you cant move on unless you do this and feel and work through the pain you willcome through it Link to comment
stopit Posted September 24, 2006 Share Posted September 24, 2006 I think before you NC, you need answers to these questions. If you leave them to dry in the sun on their own accord, you're just going to wondering about all these "What if?" situations, and those are never fun to deal with. Talk to her first and find out what's the deal with the apology and what her stance is in terms of the relationship. Communicate your needs as well: you need time, and it's the least you deserve after this rollercoaster she's put you through. Link to comment
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