Am I Weird?

[SoontobeRN]

Hi everyone...just wondering if it's bad that I want to be alone sometimes in my relationships. There are time when I just need to be alone and not around the guy I'm seeing. Is that bad? What does that mean?

THANKS...

[NJRon]

No, I think a lot of people are like that. I need to recharge my batteries by being alone. I know I am. The trick is that I need to recognize that before I start to withdraw and also communicate it clearly... that I am needing to be alone to recharge, not because there is anything wrong with the relationship.

 

A trusting relationship should allow some space for each partner.

[melrich]

No I think it is normal. It is important to have some time to yourself and it is important that you maintain your own identity. You can't live in someone's pocket 24/7.

[zer0effect]

Everyone needs alone time, well... maybe not everyone, most. If your partner doesn't realize this, explain it gently. Maybe you need to get lost in a book, veg out in front of the TV, go for a ride, whatever. It is nice to have your alone time, it feels nice to give someone their alone time too, you are both individuals that have separate identities and it is important to have time to understand that occasionally.

[coollady1957]

There is nothing at all wrong with needing a little time to yourself. I think we all need that . NO, you are absolutely not weird for needing your own space once sometimes.

 

Have you ever had partners that have complained to you about the time you need to yourself, or are you just concerned whether it is normal or not to need that " alone time" ?

[RayKay]

Totally normal, a relationship is not about, and should not be about, losing your identity as a person.

 

Alone time is important because you don't cease to exist just because you fall in love! Though if you don't take that time to nurture yourself too...the relationship will eventually cease to exist along with your personhood.

 

Just make sure to communicate and be respectful of their time and your time.

[DN]

I agree with the others providing it is because you need time to think things through, not have to bother what your partner wants or needs - time to be able to be a little selfish.

 

But if it is because you are avoiding problems that are in the relationship and you need to get away for a while to be able to live another few days with your partner when you get back - then that is not good. Better to address the issues rather than avoid them.

[Sad_now]

My ex, who hadn't seen me for a month, told me he coudn't see me as he wanted to stay in and watch his favourite TV show! We hadn't seen each other for a MONTH. Needless to say, he's now my ex...

 

So, it's a judgement call,really. Does he need 'space' or is he not really that into you? Only you can tell...

[SoontobeRN]

No..I'm not dating anyone, but I am kinda seeing a guy...and there are times when I just kinda wanna be by myself so I don't have to deal with anyone else...but then later on, I want to be with him....

[MaeMae]

I think it shows individuality and self security to be comfortable and actually seek some alone time. It means you're not needy and clingy and co-dependent. Any shrink'll say it's perfectly healthy and actually a positive thing to want alone time.