so, do you think he's interested?

[bighair]

Hi Everyone:

 

I got out of a 7 year relationship about 6 months ago. I've been doing the on line thing, dating regularly, but I'm a bit rusty when it comes to figuring out if someone is interested in me or flirting.

 

Well, I'm a project director in a large urban area. I work quite a bit with the legal community. A couple of weeks ago, I had to meet with a lawyer with regard to my project and its day to day operations. I believed I felt a vibe that day, but we were talking about business, and I had to push those feelings aside.

 

I know that I find him attractive, but I don't know if I'm attracted to him? does that make sense? anyway, my staff teased me because they think he's handsome...blah blah.

 

So, some time goes by, and I got a call from this guy's assistant. I was on vacation and called the asst. a few days later to find that she was away. Then, I return to work one MOnday and had a voice mail from this guy.

 

I called him back and he said he wanted to bring 2 issues to my attention. I assure you that both of these issues could have been dealt w. via email. The 1st issue was really some info he thought i could find useful regarding my project and the other was a request for a professional contact.

 

So, I feel like that was a big ole excuse to talk to me. Can't explain it...just a feeling I have...call it women's intuition. But, I'm not so confident these days given my big break up and being single again.

 

You guys ever experience these encounters?

[onewithbooks]

not quite like that. but i understand what you mean by your "radar" being a bit off. I feel like that a lot. Hmm. can you make an excuse to call him?

[bighair]

Hmmm...I thought about calling him but right now I don't have a reason. Not sure what to do...but, I do have a meeting this week and I believe he will be there. let's see.

[southerngirl]

Well, not knowing him personally as you do... I cant say for sure.

 

But sometimes people prefer to talk over the phone rather than email. Its a more personal contact.

[Batya33]

I try not to read into anything - particularly when it comes to professional contacts. Until he asks you out on a proper date you won't know whether he is interested in dating you - to try to interpret anything else as a sign isn't worth the stress/overanalysis.

[melrich]

I'd go with your intuition. In my experience, women's intuition about these sorts of things is rarely wrong, no matter how rusty.

 

Doesn't mean you have to totally commit to that intuition but go to the meeting and stay open to what may happen.

[timlondon]

 

I know that I find him attractive, but I don't know if I'm attracted to him? does that make sense?

 

Absolutely. It's quite weird, I was in a long term relationship that's just ended, so I've had to go out and try to learn how to chat up girls, something that I haven't done in 9 years (and which I was pretty rubbish at befor anyway).

 

The thing I'm discovering is quite how different girls are to blokes in terms of what they find attractive - guys are much less focussed on behaviour than girls are, and even an ordinary-looking guy can make himself pretty attractive by behaving in the correct way. So what you've got is a good looking guy who for some reason isn't pushing your attraction buttons.

 

I guess this could be for several reasons. He could simply not be very good at picking up girls, he could be trying to behave professionally, or he could simply not fancy you. I think that he's gone out of his way to speak to you, so it's not the last of those, and somehow since he's a lawyer I would think he'd be confident enough to approach you. So I think it's probably the second - he's attracted but constrained by the situation.

 

So I think "it's on" but unfortunately - not being a girl - I don't know what you should do to promote this. Other than to dress fabulously when you next meet.

 

 

You guys ever experience these encounters?

 

I'm getting much better at just going up to women I like, so the answer is - I used to

[Orlander]

In my experience you can't get a good read on someone until you are together focusing on each other and interacting. Call him and ask him to coffee. Talk about work, about family and whatever else you want.

 

Just call him.

 

 

Orlander