how long have you NC before they call to get back together?

[jsmith999]

how long have you NC until they tried to reconnect with you?

 

most of the times, they will just call.email to check in, but i wonder how many of you have been out of touch for 4months - a year or more and then they have contacted you?

 

did you get back together?

 

it seems here most of the times within few weeks - 2 months that NC gets broken, but i'd like to know the outlook for longterm NC's

 

thanks

[Closure]

I no contacted an ex of six years for three years after the very day we split, we didn't get back together.

 

No contact isn't about getting back together, it's about you moving forward.

[PRSOV]

Two weeks...

[TheDoctor]

I still think I did one of the harshest no contacts ever. I got into a fight with my ex-gf of 2 years and on the spot we both said in an egotistical way that we want out. We walked away from eachother with our heads in the air and pretending like we were much stronger than we were.

 

The next day she blocked me and all of my friends from the internet. I waited...waited...waited..8 months later I had gotten through enough pain that I just wanted to talk to her. I spoke to her and the convo went great, we ended up venting out our emotions. I got over her almost instantly after the first 2 days of convo. So we tried the friends thing...

 

Then as usual, she started becoming problematic about a month into it. She was upset about a movie I went to without her ( becaues I promised I'd see it with her) and then later we went to get something to eat and she was copping a harsh attitude. Later that night, she imed me and told me we're moving too fast. I found that ironic considering we were only friends and I told her several times I wouldn't sleep with her after she requested it. Then we no contacted for another 3 months and spoke again. Eventually, we just lost contact after going out with other people.

[audreypoulain]

Well it was a month devoted to e-mailing after a month of NC. After one month of e-mailing we finally talked on the phone and met. Currently not sure where we stand since we argue all the time. Getting back together is tough because old issues always come up no matter how much NC you do because you can forgive but never forget.

[NCTuskie]

One month before she text me over some trivial issues. Limited contact for another two weeks or so.

 

Finally she sent me a text saying she missed me. I replied telling her to call someone else the next time she felt lonely...

 

It's been two months since then, with no word.

[hulk7280]

One month before she text me over some trivial issues. Limited contact for another two weeks or so.

 

Finally she sent me a text saying she missed me. I replied telling her to call someone else the next time she felt lonely...

 

It's been two months since then, with no word.

 

good for you.. how long were u guys 2gether? did you love her?

[NCTuskie]

good for you.. how long were u guys 2gether? did you love her?

 

 

4 Months. Yes I did love her (still do I suppose). We had planned on getting married (mistake #1), which probably ruined what could have been a pretty healthy and fulfilling relationship.

[audreypoulain]

Finally she sent me a text saying she missed me. I replied telling her to call someone else the next time she felt lonely...

 

It's been two months since then, with no word.

 

WOW you are indeed my HERO!

[Mstyiyd]

its been 5 months NC for me. She hung up on me after I didn't want to hear @ some drama she was trying to tell me about ppl we aren't friends with. This was one of the 1st times I stood up for myself/something else. Not really a big deal, but she hung up and never called back. So NC for me all the way. I posted my own thread on Healing after Brkup about the latest interaction, but it has been NC.

Very hard, still, even tho i'm trying to move on.

[joyce1412]

i think the way you phrased the subject--"how long have you NC before they call to get back together?"--is quite telling. it sounds like you're expecting NC to automatically make your lover call after a certain amount of time--or if you're not expecting it, that's what you're hoping for.

 

if a person is confident enough in his decision to break up with you, it's not going to matter what you do or don't do. people move on. your ex may be a little surprised if you completely cut contact, but that doesn't mean he's going to change his mind. he may even be relieved that you aren't pestering him with calls, begging and pleading. he might be HAPPY.

 

i still think NC is the best way to go, though, and i encourage you to do it. you are giving your ex a chance to experience life completely without you. you just have to realize that your ex may very well decide that he can live without you--which is not your fault, but it's a reality you will probably have to accept. but like they say, if you set the butterfly free and it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin with. if your ex is happier being free or with someone else, it was never meant to be in the first place, and you're meant for someone else.

[qwertie]

 

Finally she sent me a text saying she missed me. I replied telling her to call someone else the next time she felt lonely...

 

It's been two months since then, with no word.

 

that's way cool.. i want to do this so badly. just let him get out of my

life...really dont need to hear about how bad it feels that the girl he likes

doesnt return the feeling..

 

unfortunately, we still have lots of loose ends to tie up and we sort

of turned into our own misery-loves-company club ](*,)

 

Can't wait till i have my own place and we dont need to see each other

anymore!!

[heyduh]

i've heard of stories where ex's have gotten in touch after YEARS, even decades .. search the forum .. someone recently got in touch with an ex after 12 yrs .. amazing.

 

this is probably off topic, but I think the internet actually makes it easier for ex's to get in touch after such a long time. In pre-internet days you'd probably have to hire a private-eye to find your ex if they moved away ... these days, a few clicks on google and you should be able to find your long lost ex !

 

i recently googled an ex from way back when i was a teenager (i'm 31 now) and found out she is a PhD and teaching (or doing research) in Canada no, i have no plans to contact her now ..

[ibenhad]

Well I was on 24 hours. Yeah I know not allot and she hasn't called but she did reply to an email I had sent clarifying everything. I responded and let her know I love her and I am there for her but I will not allow her to abuse my love anymore and that I will not be treated like a doormat. I told her she needs to learn to forgive me. Not forget what I did but at least forget as I do not deserve to pay for it for the rest of my life. I love her and hope she wakes up and comes back.

[joyce1412]

i've heard of stories where ex's have gotten in touch after YEARS, even decades .. search the forum .. someone recently got in touch with an ex after 12 yrs .. amazing.

 

that's true, i know some people to whom that has happened. but i think the odds that your ex WILL contact you, and also want to pursue a relationship with you, decrease with time.

[NCTuskie]

WOW you are indeed my HERO!

 

There's nothing to it, but to do it.

[Krisnakay]

It was after 3 weeks of strict no contact,even though we work together.We are back together now,have been for 3 weeks and it's like we were never even broke up.When I came here..I was intent on getting him back..but after many many sobbing,crying posts..I was actually well on my way to moving on..and that is when he called

[sandyv]

It was 7 months for me.... until recently... he came back....

 

I just said it on another thread and I will say it again..... be careful what you wish for.... you just might get it.... yep and some *** you didn't want or need as well.... thats whats happened here....

 

I should NEVER have given him a chance to break me again, yet I did.....

[Pending]

At roughly 6 weeks NC, the only real moves have been her removing contact with me.(removed from facebook & msn recently)

 

Its to the point where I just don't believe she gives a **** enough to contact me, and I won't hear of her till some random meeting when we both get back to school in the fall. This thought is simply reinforced by a complete lack of attempts at contact, and her still being with the guy she cheated on me with.

 

(reblound relatiomship? Its been two months, with much of their relationship by distence-if it were just goling last pass the honeymoon phase it would have already.So I guess they are togather, and if they breakup she well simply find herself a new man in the fall..)

[Enn]

First time: Eight weeks

Second time (just minutes ago): 17 days

 

And it was rubbish the first time I took him back...

[sandyv]

First time: Eight weeks

Second time (just minutes ago): 17 days

 

And it was rubbish the first time I took him back...

 

 

I hear ya Enn, I did the same stupid thing..... could kick myself in the butt.... If I could only do that, I would....

[Mstyiyd]

Funny, I didn't realize this was an old post that had been bumped up...and I posted on this last yr! About 10 days after my post, I ran into my ex in a store. We resumed talking, but she was like, don't read into it, just friends, etc etc. Same old ex. So, we have been friends since then and neither of us have dated anyone else (yet). We talk almost every day and all, but she does not want to be with me. No one to blame but myself for staying in this, but I have more friends now and I am not opposed to dating if I met someone else who sparks my interest. We shall see!