4 weeks pregnant by a married man

[Mz. K]

Currently I am 4 weeks pregnant by a married man . I am 23 yrs old and already have a daughter who is almost 6 yrs old.She is the light of my life and my world revolves around her .I am going through the same situation with him now that some of you are .The love he once "said" he had for me has now fueled to hatred ..At first he tryed the nice way out "baby I love u and this would ruin things between us " "this is not the right time later on we can have kids " I don't believe a word he says ... At first I was going to go with his choice and abort but a few days later I decided I wanted to keep it .As soon as I told him he began to cry saying that I will ruin his life and his wife will take his children away .That i was never going to hear from him again and he was getting a plane ticket to the Domincan Republic .. I began to get angry and I told him i never intended on telling her and he said somehow she'd find out I also told him i didn't need him to be there for me did it once before ..He began trying to convince my my rep would be damaged having 2 kids with 2 dif fathers and being single & I said that my children mean more to me than my rep or any man for that matter .... to make a long story short all the fun and games are over our little fling as I shall say is done with because reality has set in .He has become cold and distant and is only concerned about "when r we making this appointment" for the abortion ..Every day that goes by I am more and more depressed and confused ..I am not asking for pity because yes ... I did put myself in this situation I am stuck between what is best for my daughter and I or the the guilt of aborting my child ...Do I want to be scared of this man for the rest of my life or do I want to jus take the easy route and abort but be so hurt over it ...I am truly confused .. I don't even want to think about what my parents would think ..I have gotten myself into this and either way I have to be a woman and make the best of things .I had an option to take the morning after pill .... but as you can see I never made the attempt ..I really do want another child and my daughter wants a sibling .. I know I am setting myself up for alot of drama but yet I still find myself hesitant to go to the clinic I start to cry everytime I think about it ..Why we put ourselves in these situations I will never know all I know is that I'm in it and I need to make the best of it with or without him

[Dilly]

I congratulate you on your bravery and courage. You are not alone. I wish you the best for this pregnancy. I, too, am pregnant and in a situation that is not desirable. I am not sure what to do with the man that I love who is the father. I sure hope that I figure it out soon. I go from not considering abortion at all to thinking it's a no-brainer. Some people say you can save a lot of pain by breaking things off early. I'm not so sure I disagree.

[Mz. K]

thank you .. I am really happy I am pregnant but on the other hand scared at the same time ... sure i think i can be supermom but there's only so much I can do.I think about the future and who will be there to help if i'm stuck at work and things like that ..my parents love my 5 yr old but I don't know how'd they take me being pregnant again! without another father ...without there help i'd be in big trouble my mind is drained. I don;t kno what to do

[Relationship Coach]

I have two sons, each have different mothers. They are closer than I could ever imagine. What is important here is you and what you feel you can handle. Yes it is unfortunate that you have a worthless sperm donar as the childs biological father but what role would he ever play in the childs life?

 

RC

[FortunateOne]

Mz.K,

 

Answer this: If you could take a magic wand, wave it to send you back to a point in your adult life that you were content with everything, what would it be? This will give you an insight as to how to move forward with this. Remember your happines, children included, is more important than what others think. Honestly seek out that moment in your past.

[abazarni]

Tell him not to forget to send a post card from the Domincan Republic.

 

My story is very similar to yours and abortion is also not something I could live with. You also have a child already so you know how important the child becomes in your life.

 

My son means the world to me and my baby will also.