AngryTear Posted September 14, 2006 Share Posted September 14, 2006 Hey everyone i'm new here... I'm a girl of 16, i've grown up thinking gay/lesbian/bi relationships are wrong. My mom and dad are homophobic, so is the rest of my family and a majority of my friends. Since most of my family is christian theytotally believe this is a sin, and adam and eve... man and woman are meant to be together... blah blah blah... A girl in my high school came out as bi, most people teased her about it for a while and two of my friends seemed disgusted with it but the rest of us seemed fine with it. I want to tell someone, but my closest friend (NOT my best friend they're completely different) is homophobic and i'm completely certain she will treat me different. I have dated guys in the past, lately i've been more attracted to girls, and have little interest or no interest in guys. Whenever guys chat to me if i'm with or without friends, with the intention of it going further than a friendship, i lose interest and totally zone out and i make sure they know it. I told two of my friends (one was my best friend) how i was feeling but took it back and said it was just a phase. Now that i think about it i was just being a little paranoid because i thought they would start acting weird around me. Everywhere i go, i find myself staring. Seems like there's beautiful females everywhere. Now that i've started college more beautiful girls. And i saw this girl on the bus, she's a previous friend of my best friend (i say previous because they fell out which is a shame because she's so hot=P~). Don't get me wrong i like guys but i find women a whole lot more attractive, and i prefer to spend my time around females in general. Am i willing to experiment? definitely Mostly im afraid to "come out" and tell my family because it would hurt so bad if my family stopped talking to me. Worse of all everyone seems to talk about everyone else behind their backs, so that means they'll be judging me and i know they'll never be okay with it, IF i told them. They all probably want me to settle down with a successful man, get married, have a bunch of kids and live happily ever after (which i don't really want to do)... i know i have a dysfunctional family, but who doesn't. And my friends, i wouldn't really call them my friends, as a majority of them would do the same. There are only a handful of friends i am willing to tell. do have a friend that has a gay brother so i know she would probably be normal about it... I'm not sure if i'm bi, gay or just curious... I don't even know what to write anymore, if you don't mind just write back and say whatever please.... Link to comment
FortunateOne Posted September 14, 2006 Share Posted September 14, 2006 Hi! welcome to ENA. To start I'm not qualified enough to give you great advice, yet this is something that has to be thought out with care due to the affects this is going to have on the rest of your life. Stay open minded to all sides (straight/by/homo) in order to make an educated decission. One thing I can speak from experience is that I once had strange feeling for an older college mate. After extensive thought I realized it was the sense of security and confidense he projected that I missinterpreted. WOW! How our mind can lead us down a path that's completely not the issue at hand. All I realized is that those feeling came from my own insecurities at the time with women. So, deeply think this out and find the reasons for the confusion. Link to comment
highonyou Posted September 14, 2006 Share Posted September 14, 2006 Welcome hunny! To me, judging a person based on their sexuality is just as bad as judging someone based on their race, religion, background etc...its just completely unfair. I dont think you have anything to worry about or be ashamed about. You're parents will love you no matter what sexuality you are or what you make of your life. True friends would feel the same way. As for coming out? I would wait until you are comfortable with yourself and who you are, there's no need to rush things. Only when you feel the time is right Link to comment
NKP Posted September 15, 2006 Share Posted September 15, 2006 Hey welcome Okay well you know you are attracked to females thats okay just dont put a label on yourself coz it doesnt really matter right now Tell the people that you know that will be okay with it first, and just tell them that you are attacked to females, but if you are worried about your family and close friends then dont tell them until you are ready or even when you live by yourself outta the family house. If you ever need to talk feel free to PM anytime Link to comment
lil_kaila Posted September 15, 2006 Share Posted September 15, 2006 Since you don't even know what you are you don't have to come out as anything yet. You're only 16 and things can change. You might be gay, you might be bisexual or you might be straight. From what I understand you're not dating anyone right now so you definitely don't have to tell your parents yet. However it might be a good idea to talk to them about homosexuality to find out how they think about it. I don't know how open or close-minded your parents are but when possible tell them how you feel about it (without neccesarily saying something about your own sexual orientation) Most people might have weird ideas about gay people but once you tell them you're gay yourself they usually don't mind. If you're not ready to tell anyone about this then don't. But if you feel like this is something you want to talk about then carefully choose at least one friend that you can trust. Tell him/her that you are confused about things. The chances are very high that he/she won't care and will try to help you. Link to comment
FoxLocke Posted September 15, 2006 Share Posted September 15, 2006 Hi Angry Tear, and welcome to the enotalone GLBT forum... I am so glad you opened up to us. I really relate to you as I was in the same spot that you are in this time one year ago... Like you, I knew I was attracted to the same sex at an early age. And like you I come from a very homophobic Christian background...So the very IDEA of being gay scared the holy hell out of me. I wouldn't even admit it to myself(believing that god would magically make it just go away)...However, my feelings for other men progressed exponentially... I used to think, like MoneyGod said, that I was just having infatuations with men whom I sought out for "security." However, that excuse became stale after I found myself falling in love with guy after guy and being solely attracted to other guys...I have never felt strongly for women, EVER... So after years of struggle I finally decided to get real with myself. Fortunately, for you, you are at the very beginning of your young adult life and ATLEAST you are asking yourself this very important question... As it is I think that you should think about your feelings and talk to other: gay, lesbian, and bisexual people...Keep yourself open to every possibility. To me it seems like you might be, more than likely, a lesbian...Because unlike several other posts I've seen where girls have crushes on their best friends you seem to have an affinity for other women in general...much like I've had for other men. Anyway, keep talking to us. Believe me, the people on this website will support you. Also, in regards to coming out, go at your own pace. There is NO rush to come out whatsoever.. coming out, to me, is like the litmus test of the whole gay lesbian experience. I know when I came out to my mom it was the scariest experience of my life. You can probably look back in my threads and find those topics. It was a nightmare for me. But, you know what? My mom and I are closer than ever before. NOTHING will come between a mother's love for her child...NOTHING. Your mom might not like it, but she will love and support you anyway for no other reason than to see you happy... Fathers are a whole other story. It can go either way...Some fathers will be like a mother, but some will be the complete and utter antithesis. My coming out was good and bad. Good because my mom accepts and loves me, and I've made tremendous strides...Bad, because I hate my older brothers and my family is pretty religious. It can go either way. Life isn't a fairy tale. So just hang in there. Link to comment
AngryTear Posted September 17, 2006 Author Share Posted September 17, 2006 Hiya again, thank you all for your words of wisdom and support... so far i've told like four of my totally cool about it so... yeah lol so thank you again xxx Link to comment
NKP Posted September 17, 2006 Share Posted September 17, 2006 Thats so good, good luck Link to comment
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