Hey everyone i'm new here...
I'm a girl of 16, i've grown up thinking gay/lesbian/bi relationships are wrong. My mom and dad are homophobic, so is the rest of my family and a majority of my friends. Since most of my family is christian theytotally believe this is a sin, and adam and eve... man and woman are meant to be together... blah blah blah...
A girl in my high school came out as bi, most people teased her about it for a while and two of my friends seemed disgusted with it but the rest of us seemed fine with it. I want to tell someone, but my closest friend (NOT my best friend they're completely different) is homophobic and i'm completely certain she will treat me different.
I have dated guys in the past, lately i've been more attracted to girls, and have little interest or no interest in guys. Whenever guys chat to me if i'm with or without friends, with the intention of it going further than a friendship, i lose interest and totally zone out and i make sure they know it. I told two of my friends (one was my best friend) how i was feeling but took it back and said it was just a phase. Now that i think about it i was just being a little paranoid because i thought they would start acting weird around me.
Everywhere i go, i find myself staring. Seems like there's beautiful females everywhere. Now that i've started college more beautiful girls. And i saw this girl on the bus, she's a previous friend of my best friend (i say previous because they fell out which is a shame because she's so hot=P~). Don't get me wrong i like guys but i find women a whole lot more attractive, and i prefer to spend my time around females in general. Am i willing to experiment? definitely
Mostly im afraid to "come out" and tell my family because it would hurt so bad if my family stopped talking to me. Worse of all everyone seems to talk about everyone else behind their backs, so that means they'll be judging me and i know they'll never be okay with it, IF i told them. They all probably want me to settle down with a successful man, get married, have a bunch of kids and live happily ever after (which i don't really want to do)... i know i have a dysfunctional family, but who doesn't. And my friends, i wouldn't really call them my friends, as a majority of them would do the same. There are only a handful of friends i am willing to tell. do have a friend that has a gay brother so i know she would probably be normal about it... I'm not sure if i'm bi, gay or just curious...
I don't even know what to write anymore, if you don't mind just write back and say whatever please....
