He won't stop seeing her

[texami]

hey pam... sorry about the rough patch, but you really seem to be dealing with this amazingly well! appropriate amounts of pissed off, hurting, and STRENGTH!!!

 

there was a thread that i saw about someone who was checking back in after a bad break up experience... the particulars might not be exactly the same, but the gist of the OP was that there was a good life after all the pain!! the poster just wanted to check in to say how well they were doing after some time... and i hope you know that it will be that way for you, too.

 

enjoy moving in over thanksgiving, take your time and set up the place just for you!

[BeStrongBeHappy]

it sounds like he is really just a big baby who wants to have his cake and eat it too... even if he dumped this woman, he would find another one...

 

whenever one decides to divorce, the first thing you need to do is get an attorney and nail down a separation agreement *immediately* so that no more assets get burned up or disappear...

 

i would make sure you have evidence of the infidelity to prove in court, but don't obssess about her past, the only thing that is relevant is the adultery and being able to document the length and extent of it, and how much moeny he was spending on the mistress and hence depleting your marital assets.

 

hang in there... 23 years is a long time to be married, but you have the rest of your life to feel good about yourself and NOT indulge a spoiled man who basically wants to date even though he is married! you deserve someone who does not make you feel second best, or like you have to put your own married life on hold whenever he wants to see/be with another woman.

 

lots of men like it that way, a woman and a mistress, because they always have one or the other to run to whenever it suits them... so remember that this arrangement of his is indulging *his* whims, while giving you nothing but heartache. you deserve to feel happy and secure in your own life, and won't get it with a guy who really had made it clear he is happy having two women, and annoyed if anyone tells him he can't do that!

[pamh]

Thanks for the votes of confidence. You made my day! Hugs and best of everything to all who replied!

[flower99]

Wow girl. Volunteer at a food kitchen for christmas.

That is the most thoughtful, kind, selfless, generous descision I've heard. And to be coming from someone who's been hurting & going through so much herself. ((hugs)) Seriously, you make this world a better place.

 

I think that is best thing you could do for yourself and it will be a blessing to many others.

Congrats on you're new condo. Thank God living with your husband is almost over You are special pam. A blessing!