Men and inconsistancy...

[AzureSkyes69]

I was not sure what topic this would fall under.Btw I don't think all men are like this but the ones I have are. Please call when you say your gonna call,don't forget about us etc..

 

Anyhow why do I always seem to fall in love with men (and one woman one time) who are flighty and inconsistant? I need someone attentive and consistant.I need not see them every day but I would like some sort of contact every so often and so forth.I am not asking for a commitment or for me to be his world for that matter,just for him to let me know on occasion that I am thought about.Is that asking too much?

 

.I am just a little unsure of things.the guy I love he went away for a week with friends he came back this past weekend.Didn't hear from him.so I ended up calling him.he sounded happy talk to me and his tone was excited when we talked (like he was very happy that I called).we ended up talking a little then he said he would maybe catch up with me the next day(this past monday),nothing still no call.

bah!! I guess he is not as anxious to see me as I am him.But on the other hand he was away with friends for about eight days ...maybe he just needs time to himself right now,who knows.But you think he would want to at least catch up and talk with me a bit even if he couldn't see me right now.I don't want to call again him because I don't want to seem like he is my enire world & like I have nothing or nobody else but him,I don't want to seem desparate or needy..so that leaves me with my hands tied and as a lady in waiting.

please give some information on this strange behavior.

If you don't know my story look up my last post that was what happened before he went away.

 

Thanks

[Jayar]

The problem is you are picking guys (and one girl) that aren't into you. When you find one that IS into you, you will realize how silly you were thinking the others were ever worth your time!

 

Good luck...

[Lady Bugg]

I think it's a couple things....

 

One...maybe your expectations are a little high at this point in the game...

lower your expectations a little...and relax.

 

I also think men and women are different in their emotional "timetables". I think women tend to go fast emotionally and want to be consumed by the relationship. A week to a woman seems like a day to a guy. So if a guy doesn;t call you for a week...it probably doesn;t feel that long to him..where a woman might be freaking out because it been a WHOLE week!!

 

Give things a chance to settle down....he may just be busy right now.

[AzureSkyes69]

hmmm well why would he tell me "I love you" ?

I guess I will never understand men or anyone for that matter.

Nobody seems to think like I think as far as relationships/friendships.

things you should do or shouldn't do etc..

Maybe I am too old fashioned in some of my thinking for these times.

To me "I love you" should be cut and dry,somone shouldn't have to wonder if the other person ment it or what meaning it represents if they didn't love you and just said it to say it..btw that shouldn't ever happen it should be said only if it is true.

This stuff (would have put another word but it would be blocked) just seemes WAY more complicated than it should be.

[Lady Bugg]

I understand what you'e saying....How long have you been dating?

 

If someone says they love you..it's not a binding contract. Some people DO use that word too loosely..I agree..and I feel the same way YOU do about it.

Remember though...the word love is an action as well as a word.

Time will tell if his actions back up his words.

[shes2smart]

Nobody seems to think like I think as far as relationships/friendships.

things you should do or shouldn't do etc..

 

This sentence contains the crux of your problem.

 

While we all use the same words, we all have slightly different ideas about what they should be in reality. The actions that add up to expressing "love" for someone may not appear loving to someone else.

 

You can't change how other people think...and it would be incredibly dull if everyone thought the same way.

 

What you can control is your expectations about other people's behavior, though. If you don't expect someone to behave the way you think they should, you won't be disappointed when they don't act that way. Next time someone says he'll call you...don't expect him to follow through. That way, if he doesn't it won't matter...and if he does you'll be pleasantly surprised.

 

My rule of thumb for dealing with other people is this: I honor the commitments I make, but I don't expect anyone else to follow through on the commitments they make.

 

And then, a funny thing happened when I stopped expecting other people to behave the way I thought they should....more often than not, they follow through now....and I'm a lot less irritated/disappointed.

[AzureSkyes69]

Lady Bugg I have been seeing him since around May,were were aquaintences/friends before that

then we grew much closer.hopefully he will step up to the plate and put those words into actions..as you said time will tell.

 

I understand completley shes2smart,very good points.I need to start putting them into action asap.

I was not meaning everyone should think like me ..that would be boring..lol.I just mean I wish people would say "I love you" only when they mean it..like I do,just things of that nature.

[Batya33]

Watch the feet - what he does - not the lips - what he says. What does "I love you" really mean if he behaves unreliably?