Baby Carrot Posted September 14, 2006 Author Share Posted September 14, 2006 Oh, thanks for explaining. Yes I was kind of considering it since the the age gap I've got is just nerve racking. So I thought maybe changing the terms to merely eff-friends would release some of the pressure. And by nerve racking gap I'm talking about the Catherine Zeta Jones / Michael Douglas kind of gap, u know guys? BTW DAKO, 2 questions: 1) What does "wreck" mean? (Sorry, Im not a native english speaker) 2) Who's that in your avatar? . Link to comment
Dako Posted September 14, 2006 Share Posted September 14, 2006 Wreck means to ruin or damage. (I was kidding.) Django was a great gypsy jazz guitarist in France. Link to comment
Baby Carrot Posted September 14, 2006 Author Share Posted September 14, 2006 Thanks DAKO, is nice to know there's someone out there wishing you the best. Link to comment
Aschleigh Posted September 15, 2006 Share Posted September 15, 2006 As a women I know that when I have sex with someone I always have my feeling involved. It's chemical, oxytocin is a brain chemical that gets released in women's and men's brain ( less in men) that bonds us with the person we are having sex with. Ocytocin is the pleasure chemical in your brain. Your brain releases it when you are touched, licked, made love to , etc.. Women have lots of it released during child birth, it bonds us to out child chemically. Please try to be respectful of how women work. We DON'T HAVE SEX WITHOUT FEELINGS. If you only want sex then get a women who knows you are not wanting a relationship. A prostitute, or a married women who wants a fling. Be really honest up front. And also know that that women might still be wanting a relationship, she's just putting up with you in hopes of something developing. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted September 15, 2006 Share Posted September 15, 2006 I think there are women who for whatever reason, do not get emotionally attached from sex or if they do it doesn't bother them if the relationship is purely for sex. I am not one of those women but I don't agree with your generalizations. Link to comment
Baby Carrot Posted September 15, 2006 Author Share Posted September 15, 2006 Please try to be respectful of how women work. We DON'T HAVE SEX WITHOUT FEELINGS. If you only want sex then get a women who knows you are not wanting a relationship. A prostitute, or a married women who wants a fling. Be really honest up front. ASCHLEIGH: Excuse me.... who are you telling this to? Who wants to do a woman in this thread? Because if ur talking to me, I am A GIRL and Im not planning to do another girl... I was Catherine Zeta and he was Michael Douglas... LOL Or what are you talking about? And who was disrespectful in the first place? Sorry I don't think I'm understanding anything here... CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN ?!?!?! Thanks!!! . Link to comment
Aschleigh Posted September 15, 2006 Share Posted September 15, 2006 oh sorry, I assumed you were a guy. I was wrong. If you are having sex without feelings than fine. Although I don't think it's really that your not feeling anything. Maybe you're not ready for a relationship but just want sex. Whatever is just fine. Don't you want more though? Link to comment
Baby Carrot Posted September 15, 2006 Author Share Posted September 15, 2006 It's chemical, oxytocin is a brain chemical that gets released in women's and men's brain ( less in men) that bonds us with the person we are having sex with. Ocytocin is the pleasure chemical in your brain. Your brain releases it when you are touched, licked, made love to , etc.. Interesting! Do you have any idea what happens thru a prostitutes brain? I mean, seriously, because their job is not to bond with the person they're having sex with... So, are they constantly battling against nature or whot? oh sorry, I assumed you were a guy. I was wrong. If you are having sex without feelings than fine. Although I don't think it's really that your not feeling anything. Maybe you're not ready for a relationship but just want sex. Whatever is just fine. Don't you want more though? ASCHLEIGH: Ehhhhrrr... interesting change of attitude... I mean, when you thought I was a guy, you got all deffensive... "Please try to be respectful of how women work. We DON'T HAVE SEX WITHOUT FEELINGS." Caps and everything... And now that you find out I'm ALSO a woman, you just go like... "Oh, then is fine..." I mean... you're not deffending dudes in general from my "cruel intentions", the same way you deffend women from the womanizer from hell you thought I was... u know? U didn't send me with a gigolo either... Why is that? Don't you want more though? I was just explaining (if you didn't read the whole thread) that: Yes I was kind of considering it since the the age gap I've got is just nerve racking. So I thought maybe changing the terms to merely eff-friends would release some of the pressure. And by nerve racking gap I'm talking about the Catherine Zeta Jones / Michael Douglas kind of gap, u know guys? Besides the monstrous gap, there's also the long distance issue... so yeah I was kind of considering it because it ain't easy... . Link to comment
Baby Carrot Posted September 17, 2006 Author Share Posted September 17, 2006 Hey, what's up with Aschleigh? Isn't she gonna answer me or what? Link to comment
Alive2 Posted September 21, 2006 Share Posted September 21, 2006 I've tried to completely separate sex from emotion before but it didn't work (yes, I'm a guy and married). I've tried deep meditation and mentally correcting myself each time I think of having a "relationship" with someone I just want to have sex with (easier said than done). Some of my good girlfriends (i.e. friends) I definitely want to tap but wouldn't want to mess up our friendship. Maybe there is a drug we can both take to stop the "falling in love" reaction from occurring? How did the hippies in the "free love" movement do this in the '60's was it the LSD or weed? The alternative is just going to clubs and picking up whoever ... which can be a bit risky (recall "Fatal Attraction") Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted September 22, 2006 Share Posted September 22, 2006 It's simple: It's a waste of time. Sure, there's some thrills and convience and excitement. But it's horribly mundane and boring when it comes right down to it. Go for the gold, go for love! Link to comment
Alive2 Posted September 22, 2006 Share Posted September 22, 2006 In University I had no problem at all having fantastic but meaningless sex (threesomes, group sex, etc) with casual female friends ... no commitment what so ever ... so now in my late 30's it's not so easy ... Link to comment
Baby Carrot Posted September 22, 2006 Author Share Posted September 22, 2006 Maybe there is a drug we can both take to stop the "falling in love" reaction from occurring? How did the hippies in the "free love" movement do this in the '60's was it the LSD or weed? This keeps sounding ridiculous to me... I mean, I can't believe "falling in love" can be considered as an instinct or a reflex we just can't control. Is not like... "If you pick your throath you'll experience inevitably a gag reflex"... "If you get it on with someone you'll experience inevitably the 'fallinginlovelikeajerk' reflex" In University I had no problem at all having fantastic but meaningless sex (threesomes, group sex, etc) with casual female friends ... no commitment what so ever ... ALIVE2: Woah, seems like u've been around dude... what are the advantages and disadvantages of doing it like that? Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted September 22, 2006 Share Posted September 22, 2006 Maybe there is a drug we can both take to stop the "falling in love" reaction from occurring? Maybe general anesthesia will do the trick. BellaDonna Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted September 22, 2006 Share Posted September 22, 2006 In University I had no problem at all having fantastic but meaningless sex (threesomes, group sex, etc) with casual female friends ... no commitment what so ever ... so now in my late 30's it's not so easy ... I know what you're saying. Maybe having a bunch of flings is how some of us learn how pointless it is. It's like candy vs. a full meal. Link to comment
Baby Carrot Posted September 27, 2006 Author Share Posted September 27, 2006 I know what you're saying. Maybe having a bunch of flings is how some of us learn how pointless it is. It's like candy vs. a full meal. Great analogy. I'm just wondering if learning how pointless are flings is necesarily the only answer possible... maybe some people learn that flings are their thing... and that they don't need anything more than flings. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 Great analogy. I'm just wondering if learning how pointless are flings is necesarily the only answer possible... maybe some people learn that flings are their thing... and that they don't need anything more than flings. That is totally possible - but I find that a large percentage of people who claim that are either very negative/cynical about relationships or are settling for just having a fling - correspondingly, a very small percentage make that decision from a position of reasonably high self esteem and from being true to themselves. It is even more rare to have both people who are having a fling on the same page and ok with it. Link to comment
Alive2 Posted September 28, 2006 Share Posted September 28, 2006 That is totally possible - but I find that a large percentage of people who claim that are either very negative/cynical about relationships or are settling for just having a fling - correspondingly, a very small percentage make that decision from a position of reasonably high self esteem and from being true to themselves. It is even more rare to have both people who are having a fling on the same page and ok with it. Hmmm ... my wife would disagree about me having "flings" because I have low self esteem ... quite the opposite ... high-ego=high sex drive=strong desire for mistresses, FWB, etc ... both of us are very positive about relationships (most of the time) but I realize it can never provide the thrills of a "fling" 'cause its just not that dangerous enough (always the same person regardless of outfit, location, etc)! Link to comment
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