Is it too soon...?

[Slightleejaded]

Where do I begin? OK...some background...I'm a 29 yr old single mom who lives in her mother's house. It souonds lame but it's a great situation. Anyhow, I have always had bad luck in relationships. I seem to find the worst of them, like a billboard. So I decided to take a sabbatical from dating again after my last relationship broke up suddenly leaving me heartbroken, bitter and jaded. I dated casually for six months...hey who am I to turn down a free meal and movie, but nothing ever clicked. Then two months ago I met my guy at a party of a mutual friend, and we clicked immediately...I even brought him home with me that night, which was something I have NEVER done. He is the complete opposite of any guy I have ever dated. First and foremost he's a devoted dad, I haven't dated a guy with children since becoming a mom. Hmmm...He and his ex split three yrs ago and he's been in one relationship since. He sees his daughter every Thursday and every other weekend and the relationship they have is amazing. But he's amazing in every way...sweet, attentive, caring, passionate, quiet, laidback, easygoing, loving but shy and reserved.

He is so unreadable, he's not much of a talker and I have no idea whether we are on the same page. I guess in a way our relationship seems day by day, and I want reassurance (but don't know how to ask for it). I'm used to guys manipulating me into thinking they love me. Then I try convincing myself if they love me then I should love them back ... I never said it was a logical way of thinking ... but for the second time in my life I think I'm in love.

But in all honesty it's so different this time I have never felt like this, when I imagine my future it's with him, as a family, our children and us together, I get butterflies when he kisses me, I miss him when we are apart, I tingle when he touches me, it's just incredible...it's like a fairytale, it's almost too good to be true.

Now this is my problem...I'm doubting myself, do I love him? Can it really be love? Or am I just caught up in a moment? Desperate to not be alone?

 

And if it is love, how do I tell him? I've tried to drop hints about falling for him, I've left him little notes, asked him to catch me, even whispered it when I think he's sleeping but they always go unnoticed.

 

Please offer some advice...because right now I feel like I'm caught between a rock and a hard place. I need to know if this is mutual or if I should move on before I invest anymore of my heart.

 

Thanx

Stay Safe

T

[friscodj]

Hey SJ-

 

My thought is you are overthinking this waaaay too much. He seems like a good guy, right? You are a nice lady, right? Just roll with it...and enjoy the butterflies...

[bigheart09]

You are feeling scared that you will be hurt. It is totally understandable. But in life, you must take chances. Tell him that you love him or you will regret it.

[melrich]

First I would say don't be scared to fall in love. Not everything that seems too good to be true is too good to be true. This guy may well be everything you think he is.

 

Second thing I would say is don't rush it. 2 months is not long and you can keep this relationship on the upward plane for a few more months yet before you need to be fully committing.

 

What I'm really saying is take the pressure off yourself a bit and go with the flow for a while longer.

[HealingHandsWarmHeart]

slow down...hold the phone....RELAX..breath! ahhh

 

first....give it more time...make sure he is right for YOU.

 

Then have a conversation with him about "where you are at".

 

In my opinion...two months isn't long enough to know if you love someone....

[valenski]

You think you are in love but do you really know him? Get to know him, get him to open up to you and get comfy with the idea of have you around.

[Momene]

It could be mutual infatuation OR it could be the start of something deeper and more meaningful.

 

You'll know soon enough.

 

Good luck.

[Slightleejaded]

Thanx to everyone that took the time to respond...I appreciate the advice immensely. I have decided that no matter what it is that I am feeling, until I get the reassurance that I think I need, I won't be verbally expressing myself. I guess this is most likely the mind of my jaded side making this decision but I'm tired of being rejected or hurting myself...I agree I need to slow down and look at things from the outside.

Thanks

T