Disappointment in a failed relationship

[LovinIt]

I miss my boyfriend. I miss the good times, the laughter, the love that I thought we both shared. I have no doubt in my mind, that I did love him. But if I look deep inside, I wonder if perhaps it was lonliness that forced me to become a person I never thought I would.

I have been trying to let go, because I dont want to feel disappointed when he says he is not stopping by. I feel so hurt, now that he no longer feels that he "owes" me a phone call. I have realized in the last day or so, that for the first time, I DO look forward to a bright future, and a love that someday will fall upon me. But right after that uplifting moment, he calls, and tells me he will call me in 10 minutes. That turns into an hour. I'm expecting that he will come over. It's late, and Ive already stayed up past my bedtime, in the hopes that he will want to see me. He then tells me hes going over to a buddys.

I once again, feel hurt and rejection, and let him know that I kind of thought he was coming. He sayes, Im sorry. But now Im angry with myself, that I let him disappoint me yet again. Most of our relationship he has disappointed. I am smart, I have it figured out, but I cant seem to put my knowledge into action.

I want that person back. The person I thought I knew. But maybe I never really knew him. Maybe the person I thought he was, was just a figment of my imagination, a look through my rose colored glasses. How am I ever going to get through this, to a day when I wont be disappointed when he does not call. It hurts me so much.

I miss him, I really miss him, and I wish that I could take the pain away. Time and strength i know. I dont want to be disappointed anymore, or sad. Does anyone else feel this way?

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

I know entirely what you mean.

 

The last time I cried over someone I loved but can no longer have was just over a month ago - and we've been apart nearly 1.5 years.

 

I promise you - it WILL be okay.