My girl loves me,knows I love her, but feels lonely?

[tuatara]

Ok people,

 

I am LOST! My girl and I get on like a house on fire we have been going out for close 10 months now, everything is going sweetly, no fights or arguments, plans to go overseas at the end of the year. I love her, she loves me, we tell eachother all the time.

 

But last two weeks she tells me she feels lonely? She has a MAJOR problem with anxiety and university work, and says no one can understand where she is coming from.She doesnt like me seeing her when she is in her bad state, which is usually round a big work hand in date. She tells me not to worry, but I always just do, and want to make her better, but cant. I feel bad for leaving her alone.

 

What the heck am I supposed to do? HELP!

 

Thanks

[Aschleigh]

Just gently tell you you want to be there for her and ask her what , if anything you can do.

I understnad having anxiety and being affraid to show my boyfriend that side of me. But I also want him to be able to love all sides of me.

In an intiimate moment tell her you are ready to see all sides of her and love them all. Don't go away, use this and any difficulties you have to get closer. If she is lonely she probably wants company but doesn't want to ask for it. Aside from being affraid you will see the anxiety and get scared away.

[tuatara]

Thanks for the replies!

 

The thing is she has no probably making friends, she feels bad because she cant hang out with them all. She always has company, I get the feeling the loneliness is not your usual loneliness, maybe its emotional loneliness, if so I dont know what to do? We are able to talk frankly with eachother, she tells me as much as she can, I say I understand and try to help, but it doesnt seem to work..she said recently she has felt one of the lowest points of her life..I dont know how to help at all. I try everything, she seems completely happy when im around but when im not she tells me this.

[NJRon]

If she is experiencing these moods, you need to just accept them. Let her know that you accept it, and her. The fact is that you can't make her feel better. Only she can do that. It's not your responsibility to make her happy.

 

If you take her mood personally, then you run the risk of falling into a bad cycle where you are constantly exerting yourself to try and "make her happ". That won't work. Let her know that you are there for her if she needs you, but that you understand you may not be able to do anything beyond being there.

 

Let her deal with her own issues. You are doing a lot for her just by accepting her the way she is. I hope she seeks help for her issues.

[Momene]

Try and help her to plan her university work a bit better and then she'll hit the deadlines.

[ImThatGirl]

Hhhmmm - Reassure her that you are there for her - even if not physically together. That she can call on you at anytime and that you are always there with her in thought. Do you see each other often?