Torchbearer is back on the market!! OVER her

[Torchbearer]

This is the best I've felt in ages. I can confidently say that I'm totally over my ex and would not take her back under any circumstances. I spent the evening out with a lady that I met last week. It was so nice just sitting and talking to someone of the opposite sex with no expectations. I had fun. I really think I could date this girl if things work out.

 

Friday night I have another date with a different girl. Both of whom I pursued and asked out. I'm super excited about my date Friday and the possibilities of hanging out with both of these girls in the future.

 

I posted a couple of weeks ago about seeing my ex with her, apparent, boyfriend and how it hurt me. Now I think it was a blessing because for the last week I've not felt any pain for her.

 

I can't explain how I feel and how I just kicked this thing overnight but believe me victims, hang in there and it will happen. Just don't look back and don't ever think about a future with your ex. Realize that better things are in your future.

 

Now I'm fully aware that nothing could come out of either of these situations but if nothing else I've learned that I can love again, and date again, and dream about the possibilities of being in love with someone else.

[joyce1412]

hey there. i also felt good dating after the end of the relationship, although it seems i started doing it a bit sooner than you. initially, it was great! i fell asleep thinking of the possibilities with the new guy and my self-esteem was where it should be. i felt very optimistic about things.

 

there were a few problems with what i was doing, though:

1. it was way too soon--only about a month and a half out of my one and a half year relationship

2. it was with guys that i thought were kinda cute and fun, had some things in common with them, but i knew before we even dated that we had major incompatibilities. (for the record, one didn't have a steady job and didn't really plan on getting one; one was only in my city for the summer; the last guy was hot, but WEIRD, as in so weird i could barely take thirty minutes of him.)

3. i pinned WAY TOO MUCH hope on them working out, and when they didn't, i longed for my ex even more.

 

provided that you don't have these problems you should be okay. it seems you've been out of your relationship for several months now, which is great. that's a good start.

 

the only thing that concerns me is when you say this:

 

I can't explain how I feel and how I just kicked this thing overnight but believe me victims, hang in there and it will happen. Just don't look back and don't ever think about a future with your ex. Realize that better things are in your future.

 

i don't mean to bring you down, but you are probably on a high because you've got these dates coming up. you CAN'T kick it overnight. trust me, when i was dating i thought i'd done it too. i know you are feeling optimistic right now, but it's unlikely that you are done grieving for your ex simply because of these girls. you might have some more down days in your future, but that's okay. that's normal. even if you really hit it off with one of them, pain may still lie ahead. just a warning.

 

so good luck with these ladies, and if it doesn't work out, just remember that you said THIS:

 

Now I'm fully aware that nothing could come out of either of these situations but if nothing else I've learned that I can love again, and date again, and dream about the possibilities of being in love with someone else.

 

which is the best thing that you can take from dating anyway.

 

again, good luck!

[Torchbearer]

Been over a week and I've not hurt when thinking about her. Going on date #2 tomorrow night. I'm not pinning any hopes on either, just in it to have a good time and am anxious to get my life back.

 

blender, you think it's finally happened for me? Hope to not have a relapse.

[finewhine]

I think you're in the clear! Godspeed!

[blender]

Torch, I was so happy to see this post, you are doing well, and you are well on your way to the best version of YOU. I remember sending you message awhile ago that at some point you would be writing to me about "going out again, dating again"...ahhh, this is so great. Have fun, relax, and enjoy. You're getting YOURSELF back! best, Blender

[Torchbearer]

I hope I'm in the clear. Still keeping myself busy and working on being content with the now. Sometimes when relationships go wrong you sit and wonder how things would have turned out and where you'd be 6 months later had there been no break up.

 

I'm still doing well and the times I have thought about her I've been able to smile at the memories. There were good memories but that's all they are and all they'll ever be. I know we'll never have a future and I'm okay with that, in fact I'm better now than I would be had we stayed together.