On the other side of things

[SpyderE]

A few months ago I met a girl when I was out with friends, we talked it up clicked right away and had a great time. Over the next few weeks we would go out in our groups and hang out. After a few weeks of this she told me she was living with a guy, their relationship was not doing so good and that's why she was out with the girls. Well I took this to mean she was not avaliable so I backed off, I told her we could be friends but nothing else, I don't want to get in the middle of anything and especially cause a explosive breakup, hey it's up to her to either breal it off with the guy or not. Not my decision. anyways over the past few months we have been going out to lunch here ansd there, just having a good time talking and enjoying each other's company, but it seems like now things are beginning to get a little more than just friendly. NOTHING has happened yet, nor can I let it, but it is gettin gto the point where I won't be able to hang out with her without really wanting more. I always have but have been able to set things aside, now it is hard for both of us, the hugs last longer, we find ourselves staring into each others eyes etc... The only thing I can think of is that she dosen't want to leave a relationship without having one waiting, or I am the backup, and I really don't like either of those options. All I can do is be her friend and heep my emotions in check.

[Cid]

It sounds like you have hit the nail on the head. I sugest that you walk away form this one. Or you can tell her how you feel. But it is up to you.

[candy604]

walk away before you get hurt. She needs to go work her own relationship out first.

[Goldfish6888]

I think life is too short to not tell her how you feel!

 

If you decide to drop the friendship because its getting too much for you, then you are losing that anyway, but if you lay it on the line and tell her how you feel, you may win her? It is a gamble, I know, but if you feel it's worth the risk!

 

I am in a similar situation with a guy in work who I really like, but I'm just not sure what to do either....but then thats different...if I tell him how I feel and he rejects me....we work six feet away from each other....awkward!

[SkylinesTurnstiles]

Tel her how you feel

[Day_Walker]

Dont tell her how you feel. Your actions are speaking loud and clear. You are taking the appropriate course of action, just make sure that your emotions do not overcome you. Since you seem to be losing control the more you hang out with her.

[SpyderE]

hehe, funny how everyone is split on this one. I am pretty mixed up as well. I do know i am not going to throw it out there right now and tell her what I am feeling, I am pretty sure it's mutual... a few emails and text messages gave that one away. but I am having a hard time deciding whether or not to stop seeing her now and again for lunch etc. I like her company and have a great time just sitting around BSing. She's smart, pretty, hard worker, just a good person. All of the qualities I like in a girl, except for the fact she is LIVING with a guy... so for me that means hands off... I have never knowingly been a part of a cheating relationship and do not want to start, I don't think I'd let it go that far but i am beginning to dobut myself a little.

[Majoraslayer]

You should NOT tell her how you feel. Think of how devestated her boyfriend could be if she left him for you, or how if you really loved someone how you would feel if some other guy told the girl you love that he had feelings for her, ESPECIALLY if she then told him she felt the same way about him.

 

Just back away and continue what you're doing. To be honest, I wouldn't advise getting too close to her even if they break up. Think about it; a few months or years down the road when you two would start having normal relationship conflicts, would you want to have someone who would go with her friends to shop around behind your back, or someone who would try to work things out with you?