frustrated... women are weird

[nemo_lost]

Greetings All. Another Tale Of Why Women Are Weird. Oh Yeah, Need Some Advice On It Too.

 

I Got To Know This Girl Soon After Moving To Nyc Last Summer, And Over A Couple Weeks We Went Out A Couple Of Times. But Then, It Just Sort Of Stopped. I Didn't Get A Call Back After A Couple Of Messages, So I Thought She's Probably Not Interested, Or If An Emergency Came Up She'd Call Me In Time. That Didn't Happen, So I Put It Out Of My Mind And Moved On, Even Though I Wondered What Happened. In My Opinion, We Had Good Chemistry.

 

Anyway, I Ran Into This Girl Last Week (one Year Later) And I Brought It Up... Both Of Us Were Completely Confused, And It Seems Like She Thought I Wasn't Interested And I Stopped Trying??? Anyway, We Decided To Meet Up For Lunch. It's Like We Picked Up Where We Left Off. She Seems Really Into Me And Clearly I Like Her A Lot. But It Is All Really Weird Suddenly... Again! Whenever I E-mail, She E-mails Me Back With Enthusiasm. But When I Call She Never Picks Up, And When I Leave A Message, She E-mails Me Back With Saying She's Sorry She Missed My Call. So Here Are My Questions...

 

1) Am I Wrong To Think There Is Something Weird With An Email-only Dialogue. I Mean, Shouldn't Things Progress To Mostly Phone Conversations?

 

2) Clearly I'm Frustrated Becuase I Feel Like I Chasing Her And Getting Her To Get In Touch With Me. Only Once Has She Spontaneoulsy Gotten In Touch With Me - And Of Course, It Was By Email. A Friend Of Mine Once Said That If Someone Is Into You, They Will Make Time To Talk Even If They Are Seriously Busy. Do You Guys Agree With That (esp. You Ladies) Or Is It Possible You Just Like To Take Things Xtra Slow?

 

3) Am I A Moron? She's Either Not Into Me Or Seeing Some Else? So Confused.

[Aurian]

Why are you typing in all capitals?

 

I would ask her this question - why does she only use email instead of the phone?

 

I can think of two scenarios:

 

1 - she has a boyfriend and doesn't want to use the phone much lest he pick up the message. So she uses email which is more private. Using email, she hopes you will stick to email instead of calling.

 

2 - there is something wrong with the phone and/or her hearing.

[Lady Bugg]

Hmmmmm I think it sounds fishy. Personally ...for me that would be a BIG red flag, if the person NEVER answered when I called. I would be careful..she may be living with someone, or married. I'm not saying this is the case..just the possibility.

[MaeMae]

I, too, would get a little suspicious.

I would tend to wonder if she had someone else rather than go with the shyness thing. It is very frustrating to get that little squiggle of doubt in the back of your mind saying, "Hey dude, what's up with this?" I'd ask her straight out (I am NOT fond of playing the traditional relationship games where no one asks or says what they mean). Have you tried telling her that it makes you feel like you're the one doing all the chasing and that you think it's a little odd that you don't talk on the phone?

[nemo_lost]

thanks everyone. i know she lives alone, and i'm confident she's not deaf (lol on that one, by the way). i have seen her out from a distance a few times and she's always kind of alone or with a girlfriend of hers. i heard from a friend that she's never really had a steady bf. she's the serious type, career driven type. are any of you ladies out there like that? can you shed any light on how a guy should approach such women?

 

i agree with being straight up, and to lay off the games. i think ill bring it up next time we see eachother. i've avoided being 'confrontational' in fear of appearing needy. but the truth is i'm about ready to let this go, so ive got nothing to lose by being direct. i can only imagine how frustrating itll be if it gets more serious. bottom line is i'd like to spend more time with this girl, but hard enough to get her to say hi. who knows, maybe shell be impressed by my initiative.

[Aurian]

Well, I would ask her. There are both benign and suspicious reasons for it, so I would get things out in the open.

 

I wasn't trying to be funny with the deaf part (although it probably looks weird now that I look again). I am deaf myself. I can use the phone a little, but I HATE using it, so I email whenever possible!

[_Just_a_girl]

A Friend Of Mine Once Said That If Someone Is Into You, They Will Make Time To Talk Even If They Are Seriously Busy. Do You Guys Agree With That (esp. You Ladies) Or Is It Possible You Just Like To Take Things Xtra Slow?QUOTE]

 

My own opinion is...ya a person may want to take things slow..but at the same time... you make time for the things that you want to make time for. Even when you're crazy busy. And you start hopin the phone rings long before it acually does.

 

Them's the butterflies