Lansing Posted September 3, 2006 Share Posted September 3, 2006 So, I recently met this girl and she seems really cool... I met her while on holiday but she lives in my area. I already know that she is starting a new job in the next 2 weeks and is also moving to another city (still only about 30 minutes away). My question is, I know that there is a lot going on in her life so do I risk asking her out now and her just being too "busy"? Since she is new to the city (which is about the same distance as the other city she lived in) I am not sure how to handle the situation. I don't want to be her "tour guide" and I also don't want her to have to depend on me for company (i.e. I want her to be able to make new friends,etc). I have talked to her enough to know there is some potential there but at the same time, I kind of backed off during the holiday because it was a group setting and I was meeting all kinds of differnet people. I have her e-mail address so I am trying to figure out how to proceed..... I was thinking of just sending her a "Good luck" with work type of e-mail and make a casual suggestion of hanging out just to see how she reacts.... Any suggestions? Link to comment
princess81 Posted September 3, 2006 Share Posted September 3, 2006 You can use the fact that she is busy and has a lot going on right now as a good reason to ask her out. You can say something like I know you got a lot going on right now and I figure it would be nice to go out and take a break. Go for it whats the worst that can happen? Link to comment
QBwannaB Posted September 3, 2006 Share Posted September 3, 2006 The casual email sounds good. Princess also has a good point, it'll be a good excuse to initiate contact. Ask for her phone number in your email (if you don't have it already). I think it's more direct to ask someone out over the phone, but every situation is different. I had a similar decision recently, and may have waited too long. (Now I'm catching some flak for it on this forum.) I do know that you'll want to ask her out while you're still fresh in her mind, especially since you've just met. Also, I wouldn't worry about having her depend on you for company. You'll know if you're seeing too much of each other. Link to comment
friscodj Posted September 4, 2006 Share Posted September 4, 2006 I've found that "being busy" is the number one misunderstood excuse for anything in society today... Truth is, we are all busy. We live in a busy society. So when you hear something to the effect of, "I'm too busy", that really means, "I have other priorities in my life that are more important than being with you." If she really wants to get together, she'll make the time... Link to comment
hosswhispra Posted September 4, 2006 Share Posted September 4, 2006 I've found that "being busy" is the number one misunderstood excuse for anything in society today... Truth is, we are all busy. We live in a busy society. So when you hear something to the effect of, "I'm too busy", that really means, "I have other priorities in my life that are more important than being with you." If she really wants to get together, she'll make the time... This is so true, for both women (and men, to the ladies reading this post). If you have this girl's phone number, I would give her a call rather than send her an email. Good luck! Link to comment
Lansing Posted September 4, 2006 Author Share Posted September 4, 2006 Well, I haven't asked her out.... I just know that she is "Actually" busy.... I mean, if I was going through the changes with work/looking for a new place to live, etc,etc I would probably feel a bit stressed out and I probably wouldn't be looking to "date". ..... So, I guess I was just thinking that the timing is "off" and that I shouldn't ask her out.... Come to think of it, I do have her phone number because it was on a group list but, I never asked for her number to her directly so I think it would be weird for me to call her. Our previous contact was via e-mail so that is why I think I really need to ask her out via e-mail in a casual way for now..... Link to comment
hosswhispra Posted September 4, 2006 Share Posted September 4, 2006 You could always say that you found her phone number on the contact list. By calling her on the phone, it shows that you've got confidence--compared to sending an email. Link to comment
Lansing Posted September 5, 2006 Author Share Posted September 5, 2006 well.. I decided to send her an e-mail today... the whole "list" thing is from a while ago (not recently created list) and thus, I had almost forgotten about it myself. I think it would be weird for me to call her out of the blue because she would be wondering about how I got her number for as long as it took me to say the words.... and I think it would just give a bad first impression..... I will see how she responds to the "general" e-mail before proceeding Link to comment
hosswhispra Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 You could have told her where you got her number from. It would have been okay to make the phone call, since you've already spoken with her in person. It would have been "creepy" only if you got her number off of the list but hadn't spoken with her in person yet. Well...see how it goes. hoss Link to comment
Lansing Posted September 6, 2006 Author Share Posted September 6, 2006 A final update on this situation. She responded to my e-mail today and she seems enthuastic to meet up... I guess I was worried for nothing... Link to comment
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