like out of the blue

[toonicegirl]

4.5 months after break up, 4.5 months without seeing eachother, 4.5 months without talking on the phone

 

after 2 months of nc and 2.5 months in friendly contact on myspace or cellphone messages ...talking about everything except "us" (not to oftern...like once a week or once in two weeks).. i got the message from him that "he thinks he loves me"

 

he knows that im confused now and he said he doesnt want anything, and that lately he thinks a lot about times we shared ....

 

i would never expect this from him.... i still love him but i moved on (not 100% though) ...i was reallly nervous after receiving this message...now im more calmed down... he has to do the work anyway... saying this to me is not enough...he has to prove it...

[southerngirl]

What brought on the break up in the first place? How do you feel about giving it another shot?

[AwdreeHpburn]

toonicegirl - he moved on from you and was seeing someone else for a while? IS that right?

 

I suggest being careful with the whole "making him prove himself" thing. He may tire of that very quickly.

 

I think you'd be better of getting what you want honestly but setting the right expectations with him straight away.

[toonicegirl]

What brought on the break up in the first place? How do you feel about giving it another shot?

 

well...we had problems...didnt have time for eachother and there was this girl that did everthing to get him

 

on our closure phone converstaion he said that he fell out of love and that we were to different...we also grew apart (i admit it too)

 

she was more like him, so i also thought that maybe their relationship is gonna be better... well it wasnt

 

im very confused.... cause he's very independent... i want to him to change some stuff on myspace profile and i will not come back until he does that...doing this he's gonna prove how much he cares...

[southerngirl]

What he does or doesnt have on the myspace page isnt going to earn your trust.

 

If he betrayed you with another girl it wasnt her fault. He is the one that had the commitment to you.

 

If it were me personally? I would walk away and not look back. What have you really got to lose. You dont have children with him, you arent married.... There are men out there in the world that would not betray your trust like that. Just my 2 cents.

 

Be careful and go slowly here in working on getting back together.

[toonicegirl]

toonicegirl - he moved on from you and was seeing someone else for a while? IS that right?

 

I suggest being careful with the whole "making him prove himself" thing. He may tire of that very quickly.

 

I think you'd be better of getting what you want honestly but setting the right expectations with him straight away.

 

for sure im not gonna pretend that there was no damage before....ha has to know how i felt... some peopl esay that you shouldnt bring you past issues at the beginning of second chance...well...im gonna talk about it with him anyway... i'd rather have no relationship than pretend that nothing bad happened between us before

[toonicegirl]

What he does or doesnt have on the myspace page isnt going to earn your trust.

 

If he betrayed you with another girl it wasnt her fault. He is the one that had the commitment to you.

 

If it were me personally? I would walk away and not look back. What have you really got to lose. You dont have children with him, you arent married.... There are men out there in the world that would not betray your trust like that. Just my 2 cents.

 

Be careful and go slowly here in working on getting back together.

 

sometimes it's easier to say something than do it... i know and agree with everything you say but when it comes to love it's hard to be rational... if it's not gonna work im gonna blame only myself and nobody else

[reddog]

Did you break NC or did he and did you keep up with NC after you/him broke NC?

[toonicegirl]

Did you break NC or did he and did you keep up with NC after you/him broke NC?

 

yes i did nc... i didnt know what nc is back then though but when i read about it i knew i was doing right

 

he broke it after about 2 months...and then he was breaking it like every week or two weeks... later i was initiating contact too...but in 95% it was him