What can I do?

[Krosis]

Alright guys (and girls),

 

My name is Tim. I'm 15 years old, and currently in a LDR. (Long Distance Relationship) I've been reading some of these topics and it seems the majority of the users on this forum are close, or over 20 years old. Since I'm only 15, I'm not sure what kind of reply I'm going to get to this, but it must be done. I'm in need of help.

 

You see, I live in Texas, while she lives in Washington state. For anyone that lives out of the United States they're about 2000 miles away. So yes, this is more of an XLDR, compared to others on here.

 

Anyways, we've been going out for 9 months now, and I can honesAndtly tell you, I'm in love with her. Her name is Emily, she's my age, and feels the same way about me. It was sort of love at first site. We started out of friends, and one night I got the nerve to ask her to be my girlfriend. I suppose I would have done it sooner, I was just scared. I had never been in an LDR before. And you have to understand, Emily is GORGEOUS! I'm not just saying that because I'm her boyfriend, I honestly mean it, aswell as everyone else.

 

I didn't have to see her to know that she was the one. Something just...told me she was. I can't explain it. I still have the same feeling, I know I'm going to marry her one day. I just know it.

 

But I'm making this sort of long, so I might as well get to the point.

 

-----THE POINT (You don't HAVE to read the above)-----

 

Ever since we got together, I've always been getting crap from people at school about us. How we're not going to last. How stupid our relationship is. How idiotic it is to be in an LDR. I'm sure you're familiar with it. Now be aware these are all imature freshmans who don't know better, but it hurts none the less. I mean, they're talking about the thing that keeps me going each day, about the girl I love more than life itself.

 

So I'm here to ask you, what can I do? I know I can't make people stop talking crap about us. But what do some of you guys do when you feel the same way I am?

 

Any help would be appreciated.

[elaineska]

Hi! I started my LDR when a few months after I turned 16, and now I am 18. It's still going great so don't let anyone tell you they don't work.

 

What caused the separation? Did this start out as an online thing or did you once live close together?

 

LDRs have their ups and downs. Of course you miss your special someone everyday, but your bond can become stronger because of the distance. That's probably a really difficult concept for thick-headed freshmen so I don't know if I'd even try. Just ignore them. You know your situation better than they do!

 

You can pm me if you want.

[Krosis]

Thanks for the quick reply. Yeah, it started out as just an Online thing on Myspace. And now it has led up to actually spending a week together this past July.

 

We will also be spending a week together this November, and also in Januray for our 1 year anniversary.

 

But yes I understand. It's just hard you know? Getting ragged on every single day for being in love!

 

Not the greatest thing in the world.

 

And thanks for the offer of PMing you whenever I may. Do you by any chance use any kind of IM Program so I may contact you faster if the need arises?

 

Thanks!

[Slacker]

Just gotta ignore the crap talkers, most of them dont know what they're talkin about, and the rest are jealous.

[Krosis]

Haha, ya'll make it sound so simple. That's what I get told by everyone, even Emily. It's just not that simple. I guess I'm just really self conscious about how other people think of me.

 

Anyways, next time it comes up (tomarrow most likely) I'll try to just tune them out and not pay attention to them.

 

If anyone else has any suggestions, please let me know.

[Beec]

Krosis,

 

First, your posts in response to marlena regarding her intent to committ suicide are eloquent. I cam here becaquse I am in awe of a person your age with such eloquence and passion.

 

Second, if you have naysayers bothering you, stop telling them things. Emily is there and the people who support you should know, but isolate the naysayers. That's my practical side.

 

Third, what would you really do for love? I hope the list includes endrugin such talk, which is really not a heavy burden is it?

[marlenasmith7]

Tim, I watched on Youtube and you and she look so happy. You two are adorable!

Who cares what other people say about you and she, if you are happy, then that is all that matters.

Being in school is tough and growing up can be tougher, but who of those in school are going to be there after graduation?

I know that after i left high school I only kept in touch with about 2 people out of our entire group of friends (about 30).

Just make YOU happy and not them!

[mysteryman]

Long distance relationships are tricky. But it seems you have it down pat. And I wish you the best of luck but the biggest problem is, out of sight and out of mind. But from the sounds of it, you should be fine.

[Krosis]

Krosis,

 

First, your posts in response to marlena regarding her intent to committ suicide are eloquent. I cam here becaquse I am in awe of a person your age with such eloquence and passion.

 

Second, if you have naysayers bothering you, stop telling them things. Emily is there and the people who support you should know, but isolate the naysayers. That's my practical side.

 

Third, what would you really do for love? I hope the list includes endrugin such talk, which is really not a heavy burden is it?

 

Thank you for your kind words Beec. I know I need to just zone then out when the talk about us, it's just hard. But I will get into the habit of doing that eventually.

 

 

Tim, I watched on Youtube and you and she look so happy. You two are adorable!

Who cares what other people say about you and she, if you are happy, then that is all that matters.

Being in school is tough and growing up can be tougher, but who of those in school are going to be there after graduation?

I know that after i left high school I only kept in touch with about 2 people out of our entire group of friends (about 30).

Just make YOU happy and not them!

 

Marlena, thanks for checking out my topic. And thank you so much for your kind words towards this dilemma of mine. But you are right, after a few more years I'll most likely never see over half of them ever again. So thank you for pointing that out.

 

Long distance relationships are tricky. But it seems you have it down pat. And I wish you the best of luck but the biggest problem is, out of sight and out of mind. But from the sounds of it, you should be fine.

 

Thanks bud. You are correct, LDR's are hard. I thank you for the best wishes.

[Beec]

Krosis,

 

First, your posts in response to marlena regarding her intent to committ suicide are eloquent. I cam here becaquse I am in awe of a person your age with such eloquence and passion.

 

Second, if you have naysayers bothering you, stop telling them things. Emily is there and the people who support you should know, but isolate the naysayers. That's my practical side.

 

Third, what would you really do for love? I hope the list includes endrugin such talk, which is really not a heavy burden is it?

 

Yikes I had a lot of typos in that.

 

If you really love Emily, you will listen to the key message that people were giving Marlena, endure for love. Endure.

[Beec]

A suggestion, why worry about this. I'm not trying to be a naysyaer, at all. But the chances of you and Emily making it for a sufficient period of time in your current status of an LDR through until it can be something that is not an LDR, well, that's a long time. You're 15, when are you going to be able to live near her? Can you go to college together? Or work after high school and live near each other? Maybe, so probably bare minimum three years, right? Stop worrying about what others say and work on making sure it lasts. Figure it out, what do LDRs that last have in common, what works, do some research, ask people who have had them and had it work, and try to adapt some of the things they have done. I don't know either of you, but I do know that few people in such a situation would have anything that lasted for "years," think about making it last, not what others predict.

[Amore]

Tim, I just wanted to say that I am amazed by the passion you have behind your words, as Beec said.

 

You're incredibly mature for your age, I can tell just by the few posts I've read of yours and that adorable slideshow you made for Emily. I can almost feel the love coming off of my computer screen! =D

 

I hate to make assumptions, but most freshmen are way off from your maturity level. At age 15, most, if not basically all, teenagers don't know what love is.

 

But you... I can tell you know what love is. And that understanding is an amazing gift for your age... well, at any age. Most teenagers do not understand the love you have for Emily. And because they don't understand it, they choose to criticize it. Perhaps out of jealousy, or perhaps out of confusion.

 

You have an amazing bond with Emily, and you seem strong enough to let let the words of others change that.

 

Best of luck to you and Emily!! =) Feel free to PM me any time you wish! I'm a couple of years older than you, and while I'm not in a LDR, I too receive comments on my relationship and how I can't possibly have met my soulmate when I'm this young. I understand, to a degree, what you're going through. You can talk to me at any time!

 

- Allie

[Krosis]

Thanks for replying again Beec. Yeah, that's how I found this site today. Today was harder than most days at school, so I came home, and talked with Emily. She of coarse calmed me down and told me everything would be okay, and that she loved me. But I wanted to find a site that I can talk to other people with about this, and I found eNotAlone. Though I did not realize how much more there is to this site. It's amazing. But you are correct Beec, I should not worry so much about others words. Thanks.

 

 

 

Wow Allie,

 

Thanks so much for that awesome reply. Yes, both Emily and I are rather mature for our age, though we're still kids at heart when we want to be. But you are correct when you say that I love her, because I do. So much! I can't descibe the way I feel towards her. She's not only my girlfriend, but my best friend. I love her more than anything.

 

Thank you for the best wishes, and the offer to PM you when needed.

 

Thanks!

[elaineska]

What a nice video! You two look so happy in it. link removed[/i]"]Kittigirl88@link removed is my Yahoo Messenger name if you ever need to talk.

 

November huh? Sorry you have to wait so long to see her. The next time I will see my bf will be around December 20th, so I know how you feel!

[PrincessJOA]

I've actually been in a LDR for probably about a year or so... trust me, at first, it started off easy..and then it gets harder..and harder... and then finally to the point where you cant take it anymore. You'll miss them so badly all you could think about is the things you've done together, and the things you could be doing together if they have never left..and then you'll meet someone new. And you'll break it off... but after a couple of months, you'll blame yourself for calling it quit with someone that matters most in your life just because distance is an obstacle.. bottom line is. Its f*ckin hard. You need a sh*t load of patience man, and you gotta trust the girl. anyways, its hard..but if shes worth the wait, distance is just distance. it means nothing in a relationship