meeting ex for the 1st time in 1 year...

[av82]

ok guys...its been a while since I posted any updates...but me and my ex have been maintaining contact in the past 2 months...we had no contact for 9 months until I bumped into his page on Myspace...he was the one that broke up w/ me....we had a long rollercoaster for a year prior to no contact...I agree that having no contact was indeed necessary...he was confused (or still is = / idk) and he didnt want a relationship due to the commitment...but anyway...I finally after a year started realizing what happened between us...he just REALLY didnt want a relationship....it took me a year but I guess from having nc...and being broken up w/ him for a while I see these things...but anyway...we been conversating and all...I birthday passed...he wished me a happy b-day/ emailed me....that was nice of him...but then it happened, just recently a conversation about the cause of our break up came up....he stated that he feels that I have a BIG hate for him...that he senses this...and that keeps him a little distant from me...he feels deep down inside that I have a negative view of him and that he wishes to turn the negative that has happened into a positive one...he's scared I think disgusting of him...I mean I guess he would see himself more closer to me but that scares him...why would he fell like that...maybe cause he feels guility?...I agree myself that there are some things that I was not happy about our breakup...but already insisted to him I dont hate him...so we both agreed to talk in person and go somewhere...out on a informal date of some sort...the decision to meet in person came up because we kept writing back and forth..and he felt we were arguing...where I didnt think it was arguing at all...but I guess in person is better where we both see each other's emotions...so my question is what do you all think? its been a long road for us...and I'm wondering...where should we go to talk? I know for a fact not at each other's houses, but somewhere public...I have no clue where to go...and I'm so nervous thinking about the meeting we will have next week!

[Orlander]

out on a informal date of some sort

 

 

I am glad you feel you are talking again since it seems that is what you want right now, but I'm going out on a limb here and say that you aren't ready for a relationship with him. Try to keep that in mind when you get together. Why would you want to get together with this person again anyway? Would it be worth it to be friends, then lovers, then...what if he leaves again? Do you want to put your heart through that again?

 

Point is, there are guys out there that won't break up with you and who will want a relationship with you. Why would you want to spend any of your quality, important time with this guy??

 

 

Orlander

[joyce1412]

maybe i'm being a bit dense here, but it doesn't seem like he's given you a clear idea that he wants to get back together. is that what you want? it kind of sounds like he just wants you to reassure him that you don't "hate" him.

 

i hope this doesn't open up old wounds for you. be careful my friend.