how can someone be so totally heartless??

[missmebaby]

ive never been so totally hurt and heartbroken as i am right now. ever since my ex and i have broken up 3 weeks ago we have been on OK terms. we havent really been friends, we've had our times of arguing and blaming each other for things and getting mad at each other, but we'll talk the next day and everything will be ok again. well we decided to try and be friends and i asked him to go to a concert with me. well he agreed and we made plans to go together. well last night we started to talk about our relationship and our lives since we've broken up. well i asked him if he thought our relationship had been a waste of time and he got very mad and said that the only reason i was asking him that is because i must be thinking it was all a waste of time. that wasnt what i think at all, i just wanted to know how he felt. but no matter what i said and how i tried to explain myself he just wouldnt listen. he said forget about the concert im not going with you and hung up on me. i called him back and tried to explain some more and tried to say sorry and that i didnt mean to hurt him but he wouldnt listen to me and just yelled at me and made me cry. (which he didnt care about that either.)

 

well that was last night and the concert is today. i called him today to see if he had cooled down and changed his mind but he hasnt. if anything he treated me even worse. he said he didnt care if we were friends or if he ever talked to me or saw me ever again. no matter how much i begged him to come with me or cried and asked him how he could treat me like this he was so unbelievably mean and heartless. he didnt care at all that i was sitting there crying my eyes out and that he was making me so miserable and hurting me. how can you be with someone for a whole year and have things go so great and be so in love with someone and then when you break up you treat them so badly and make them so miserable and not even feel bad or care!?!? how can anyone do that to any human being, much less someone that you spent a year of your life with and have so many memories together and someone you said you loved?? i cant believe the way hes treating me, i never knew anyone could ever be so completely heartless. ive been hurt pretty bad by guys in the past and hes the one guy that i thought would never hurt me but hes hurt me 100 times worse than anyone ever has before. i just dont see how he can get up every morning and be happy with himself and not look in the mirror and be totally disgusted with the person he is. i could never live with myself if i ever treated anyone the way he treats me. can someone please give me a good reason why he is acting like this?!? it would make me feel so much better to actually have a reason other than i dated a guy who never really cared about me like he said he did and someone that had me totally fooled into thinking he was a good guy. i feel like i wasted so much time, energy, money, and especially love, on him. at times i really wish i never would have met him because then i wouldnt know there were actually people like him out there. ive never been so hurt in my entire life, alls i can do right now is cry and feel so totally miserable.

[MacGyverRI]

1st, Blaming ea. other is totally wrong and will distance you even more.

 

You need to see where the problems are/were and try to work on making a compromise to make it better for both if you if that's even possible.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

well i asked him if he thought our relationship had been a waste of time and he got very mad and said that the only reason i was asking him that is because i must be thinking it was all a waste of time.

 

I can understand how that comment would hurt him. You guys have been arguing a lot and playing the blame game with each other so it is not too surprising that with hurt feelings on both sides, he would react badly to the above comment. No matter how much you try to explain and cry, he is still processing that comment as a commentary on how you feel. Some men (and women) when very hurt, lash out and can do some very mean things. I would say just back off and let things simmer down. You two need a break from each other to let the situation cool down and allow cooler heads to prevail.

[robowarrior]

copy paste

 

Good couples complain to eachother, this way they inform eachother on what their specific needs and feelings are so they can stay in tune and appreciate eachother. If you feel something is wrong , you should listen to your inner voice because 'most likely' something is wrong.

 

The maintanance of a relationship is a continues investment, it requires that love comes both ways in giving and taking.

 

small arguments can lead to big break ups, remember only to put love and light into eachothers lives, did you go with him with the thought, 'im with him so he can make me unhappy' No of course not, so make eachothers lives happy instead of miserable. Stop pouring darkness and hatred into eachothers lives, make sure you want to be with a person, the looks are one thing, being on the same frequency with her inner self is another.

[candy604]

happened to my sister, her ex-bf was very cruel with his words after their break-up ( he broke up with her and went back wit his ex gf of 2 years). Very mean to her and she was distraught for like a month over it.

 

Some men when they are mad, they say things they don't mean to get back at the person and probably enjoy seeing the other person hurt. He could be hurting inside too ( remember that) , and ends up taking out the anger on you.

 

Just let him cool down and talk calmy next time.

[venus777]

hmmm.... i don't think what you said merited such a response. even if he was hurt. i would just stay away from him. go no contact. you don't deserve that. you deserve more than that. he needs to call and apologize and own up to the fact that's not good behavior...

[missmebaby]

wow i bet you guys didnt see this one coming. i have a confession to make. we ended up going to that concert tonight, we had a great time together, i kept making him laugh and we didnt fight once. umm we ended up having sex which i know is a very bad thing to do with your ex but i honestly knew i was not going to have any emotions involved and i debated with myself about it for a long time and i knew that i wouldnt regret it....and i dont. well after it happened i didnt mention anything at all about our relationship or anything but he started to say weird things like "well now what do we do?" and "i thought i knew what i wanted but maybe not." and when i asked him about it he said that he was starting to think that he wants to be with me again. he said tonight made him realize how much he missed me and that we can have a great time together and not fight. he kept asking me what i want and i answered him honestly that i dont know what i want. he says he wants to talk to me and see how it goes and if its meant to be it will be. he was being the sweet guy that i first met and i just cant believe that he really wants me back. the thing is....now i dont know if i even want him back. i know one thing though...if we decide to maybe try again, im gonna make him work his butt off to gain me back. and if he isnt willing to do it, then im saying forget it and never looking back.