The Secret

[shellshocked]

I appreciate you responding and it sounds like you know ALOT about this stuff, NJRon...

 

I'm curious if you could point me in the direction where I could learn more...

 

Thanks again..

SS

[shellshocked]

a few months ago i got a really big sign that made me think my ex was going to come around. he didn't.

 

i think that was a sign to stop looking for signs.

 

 

First, I want to say that I love reading your posts. I always find your responses brilliant and insightful...and they've helped me alot.

And I'm really happy that you're responding to this, because you TOTALLY make me think!

 

Reading this made me remember a talk I had with my therapist a few weeks ago. We were discussing positive self-talk vs negative self-talk. And I was asking her when does taking a situation and putting a positive spin on it cross the line into delusion.

 

I gave the example of, I call someone and they don't return my phone call right away. So normally I would think something like, "they don't like me, or I offended them somehow, etc." And really, I "could" also think, "their phone died, their busy, their mom's visiting them and their busy banging their head on the wall, etc."

 

And I couldn't get past the part, "but what IF, they really don't like me anymore??"....and THAT'S the truth???

 

And just this past week, I think I figured out....it doesn't really matter.

That it's MY reality...and more likely than not...it's something like their phone died, than they hate me....

I'm not saying that if I legitimately did something to offend them, that I shouldn't find out and try to patch things up...

But I also, shouldn't make myself sad and depressed about something when

I could just as well take the opposite route.

 

It's all in the way you think about it.

I made the analogy before of being stuck in traffic on two different days.

Day One - you feel happy, because it's sunny, no where in particular you have to be, good songs on the radio, etc...

Day Two - you're PISSED!! it's raining, you're two hours late for an important meeting, etc...

 

Same situation - different feelings and thought's.

 

So what if you "could" control the way you feel to change reality.

(Instead of your reality contolling the way you feel?)

 

So I think yoley is right...it's how you interpret things.

 

It's like this "secret" thing.

If you expect it to be helpful and beneficial...it will be.

If you expect it be delusional and hurtful to you...it will be.

 

"Whatever we give the most thought to will expand"

[shellshocked]

link removed

[heyduh]

every day we have thousands, probably tens of thousands of thoughts. even when we are thinking about one person, we will have hundreds of different thoughts, ideas and wishes .. for example a man may have the following thoughts about his GF during the day (background .. they have not spoken to her in 2 days because they are both busy at work and school):

 

"i want her to call me. i want her to show me more love me. we are so wonderful together. we are made for each other. she is a little confused about us right now, but i know she is going to make the right decision. is she more attracted to someone else? oops! negative thought, let me redirect to positive ... i am going to meet her and go clubbing this weekend. we will go for a vacation to san diego this fall. her brother's gf is SO hot. i want to have a threesome with my GF and her brother's GF. i'm going to give her a back massage next time I meet her .. we've both been so stressed out at work this week .. (smiling) i know what she is going to give me in return! i'm hungry - can't wait for lunch break. i'm going to surprise my gf and take her out to sushi one of these days. she knows how much i hate sushi .. hehe. my gf is so much smarter than my ex. i am so greatful to have her in my life. our kids are going to be smart, talented and beautiful........."

 

add a 500 more mostly positive thoughts the poor guy has about this one special girl during the course of his day.

 

towards the end of the workday, he gets an email from her saying that: "i'm so stressed out, I need a massage ... would you like to pick me up after work, we can pick up a movie and relax at my place??"

 

so .. he can either say "wow! i thought of giving her a massage and look at how I created my own reality!!!" ... now, if he acts like the loving and caring bf that he is, he will even get the * * * * massage/blow job that he is soo looking forward too. yep. his thought sure did make his own reality.

 

seriously ... did his thought make this happen? did all that energy waves from his mind manipulate the energy in the universe to manipulate his gf's thoughtforms to make this happen??? ie. does ones thought create ones reality or rather, one out of the thousands things that we think about just happened to take place.

 

what we think about are things that are likely to occur .. they are all "possible" in this world that we live in .. the thought we hold in our minds could happen, or could NOT happen. my ex will return to me. or she won't. hehe.

 

BUT .. even if you mediate and concentrate like the great Buddha on "the sun is going to set in the east today" it will not happen. because this is an "impossible" event .. the sun always rises in the east and sets in the west.

 

i saw the movie, read the book (ask and it is given) and practiced some of it, until i realized that it isn't anything supernatural or metaphysical that is happening here. the positive affirmations are MAKING YOU CHANGE YOUR OWN REALITY. there is no energy thoughtform being converted into the "one source energy" that is turning into some material manifestation (yeah, i know e=mc squared, but that really does not apply here)

 

All that the positive affirmations is doing is reframing YOU. making you change your life in a positive way. YOU cannot influence a third entity (person, place, thing, event .. or whatever) just by positively thinking it so. NO. you can put yourself in a more positive frame, and create opportunities for yourself to influence your universe ... by extension, yes, you can influence your gf .. like in the example above, the guy though of the massage/blow job thing. she invites him over .. hinting at giving her a massage. now he is in a positive state because of his positive thinking all day, if he does not lose his frame of mind, he will get what he visualized ..

 

just KNOW that whatever is happening is through you only. not some metaphysical universe/being/god or whatever.

[NJRon]

I appreciate you responding and it sounds like you know ALOT about this stuff, NJRon...

 

I'm curious if you could point me in the direction where I could learn more...

 

Thanks again..

SS

 

While the Dalai Lama speaks from the background of a Buddhist, his thought process is much the same. The ability to let go of desires (i.e. outcomes) allows the freedom to invest energy in general positivity. His writings are directed towards numerous areas. A very good book that I like that is beneficial to just about anyone is "How to Practice: The Way to a Meaningful Life".

 

Metaphysical mumbo-jumbo about positive thinking/directing energies can be found all over the place. The Dalai Lama puts the concept to actual use with tangible results.

[NJRon]

Positivity doe shave effect... positivity changes how *you* act... your *actions* affect others which change how *they* act. So, in effect, while the positive thought itself does not create a physical manifestation... positive actions do... and you can best foster positive action through positive thought...

[river dog]

and you can best foster positive action through positive thought...

 

If I come away from this particular section of the forum with anything, it will be that.

[Gator]

As Eker says P>T>F>A>R

 

Programming leads to thoughts.

Thoughts lead to feelings.

Feelings lead to actions.

Actions lead to results.

[joyce1412]

shellshocked, i really appreciate your compliment.

 

i agree with what you are saying now, which is that you are better off thinking of something, ANYTHING, positively rather than negatively, putting a spin on it that works in your favor rather than against you. what i disagreed with before was that positive responses from others directly correlate to your positive thinking on the matter.

 

i'm with heyduh in that you can't expect to magically influence third parties with the way you think about something. and if things work out with your ex, and you credit it to your positive thinking, it's like having a good day and crediting the horoscope that said today was your lucky day. i think we humans just like to interpret things the way we want to interpret them. we like to look for freaky coincidences. i hope this doesn't offend anyone, but in a way i think it's akin to some people's faith in religion.

 

positive thinking really is the best thing you can do for yourself. the KIND of positive thinking you do, though, is very important. i think the best kind is that which inflates your self-esteem (to compensate for the knocks it's taken) without being unrealistic.

 

it's also important that it doesn't depend on outside circumstances. just to illustrate a point, my ex travels constantly for work, so when he broke it off with me, i thought, "well he's not going to be able to find someone who will be as loyal as me and be able to deal with his constantly being gone. he's going to miss me because someone who deals with that so well is rare." well, i just found out he might be seeing someone whom he's known even longer than me, so if he dates her that effectively negates my positivity. so i would have been better off saying something like, "i'm irreplaceable, i'm special, and i loved him very much, so he should be sad not to have me around."

[jawinkl]

great thread ......... BUMP!!

[shellshocked]

This is soooooo funny (and amazing...and crazy) I'm not even sure I should post this.

 

I just got home from an AMAZING vacation with my LDR gf.

We had absolutely the best time.

 

Since we've gotten back, she's been distant (she seems to always

get this way after we've spent time together. I think it's either one

of two things.

Either:

1) She REALLY misses me...and distancing makes it easier for her.

or

2) After being so close not only emotionally BUT ALSO physically,

she needs to pull back some to regain some autonomy.).

 

Anyway...she's been distant. And also she's been REALLY busy

with work.

 

So I logged into ENA and was poking around my profile.

I wanted to change something in my profile and I clicked

on "User CP" by accident.

In there, I saw the list of posts that I got points for.

And in that list was THIS thread for "The Secret".

 

I re-read my posts and the others in the thread.

And remembered what I started doing last year when

we were having something similar (but on a larger scale)

happening.

 

So....and again....I'm shocked....and amazed...and I swear to GOD

that this just happened.

I haven't done this for awhile, but I visualized her going thru her

day today...being busy with work....but also missing me.

Then I started visualizing how much she wanted to talk to me.

And tell me about her day. And her picking up the phone and calling me.

And us laughing and having a fun conversation....

 

And you know what?

 

5 minutes later she called me!!!

And she said she was REALLY busy, but couldn't concentrate,

because she couldn't stop thinking about me...

we had a GREAT and REALLY fun conversation!

 

And now I just noticed that this thread was recently bumped up.

 

This LOA stuff is utterly A M A Z I N G!!!!!!!!!!!!!!