Hello Everyone! I'm troubled!

[some-guy101]

Hey everyone,

I came here since I read some of these threads and you give a lot of great advice. I think I'd call myself bi, since I am still in questioning. I have a lot of problems. Like I think girls are hot, but guys are too. (Y'know usual.) I kinda want to reject it, but i can't. It is all because this sweet guy who I am holding out for. He is a year younger than me, and I am an 8th grader. (I know, really young.) I think he is bi-, but he acts really straight around all his friends. He tends to like stick up for me when people call me psychotic or something, and it is usually my friends saying that, and I am ok with it, but he just attacks them. He is REALLY sweet as I said. Very nice to me, and we joke a lot. I read about how to tell the straight people apart from those who are interested and not in you, and I did the eye test on the bus. I asked four people to do it, since I am not sure I am bi or gay yet. He got nervous, and crossed his eyes, and moved into bright light when i saw a bit of dialation when they looked me in my eyes to hold contact. I think it is ethier to avoid me, or to hide from me. He also shaves his legs, but he doesn't swim. There was also a day when we were all BS-ing and making fun of eachother for fun, and he said he "wants" me to get a sex change. He also pays serious attention to my looks. Not I "should". So that made me think he is like straight but trying to justify it or whatever. He knows eactly what I did to myself, like my haircut that no one else noticed during my 7 classes with 600 different people. Also, he tries to sit with me on the bus, if there aren't seats open. Today I was talking with my friends, and one said she liked him and that shocked me. When she got off the bus, my other friend and I both talked and came to the conclusion, we thought he was bi-. I really want to like go out with him, but I also want to go out with two girls in my school. (NO PIMPIN is not an option) So what should I do? lol. I know this is confusing.

-101

[robowarrior]

Isn't he just a friend? I mean its just normal to have guy friends around that age, He's in a volunerable position and seriously way to young for this. Just let him enjoy his youth for another 5 years before you go asking him out. I mean you still haven't figured out wether you are bi-straight or gay, what makes you think he even younger then you does know what gender preference he has?

[UT]

I think part of being young and living his youth is being true to yourself. I know that in 7th and 8th grade I wanted a boyfriend, but I didn't dare to ask anyone, to be out there. I regreted it at that time (But not now, Now i have a wonderful boyfriend who loves me and I'm glad he's my first and hopefully only boyfriend ever). If I had someone to be with, maybe I would have been a little happier. Having someone you like, makes your life much happier. They are still in puberty and they might not know what they want, but if this is what they feel at the moment there's no reason for them not to try it. See how it goes. If the tables were turned and this was a situation with a boy and a girl people whouldn't have wanted them to way 5 years to figure out if this really is what they wanted. they would be all for it. All I'm saying is, if this feels right at the moment and if both are okay with it then there's no reason they shouldn't try.

 

However, you should be sure you want this guy and that you won't try to go after these girls. You should also be aware that there are no guarantees in love, as in life (well, death is kind of a guarantee), if you should be rejected or if the relationship went bad it could destroy a wonderful friendship. You should also take into consideration that there could be some unacceptance due to ignorance, but you can alway talk to a teacher or the schools councelour. Yet another problem can be that you like the same boy one of your friends do and for her it's more socially accepted to be with a boy.

 

I think it's great that you've found someone, but it's also very important that you are aware of the risks involved. Good luck to you.

[vandgsmom]

The place which you are at in your life is in my opinion the most difficult one that you will ever go through. The whole world feels as if it hangs on your every decision, and the emotional weight that bears down on you seems suffocating at times.

 

If you were one of my children, my advice to you would be to just hold on to the feelings that you are having. Try to keep them as your own personal secret for a little while. Refine them, keep what sticks and disgard what dosen't feel right.

 

If at the end of your own personal emotional sit-in you still feel as if the only option that is left to you is to come out to this boy, the object of your 8th grade desire, then do so, because to not do it will eat you up later.

 

Be prepared though, for more ridicule than you already suffer. Though our society is more tolerant today than ever before, junior high school will never change. If you aren't the abercrombie norm then you are a freak, and by coming out as bi and activley seeking a "boyfriend" you are inviting the wrath of those who dearly enjoy dishing it out.

 

Be true to yourself. Act on what feelings you must, but be close and careful with your own heart and mind. Don't take the road more traveled because it is less bumpy, but don't take the road less traveled either unless you are prepared for the ride. Remember how you feel right now, write it down so that you can go back to this day and remember what it was that motivated you in the first place. And whatever you do, remember that there are people in the world that love you for exactly who you are, and that those people will be there to pick you up when life pushes you down.

[some-guy101]

Ok I will wait. I found out yesterday he is my age, but I will definitely wait! Thank you!

[vandgsmom]

I think you are making a good decision. It is hard to do the mature thing sometimes, but always better in the long run...

 

Good Luck!

[some-guy101]

he asked me out, and I didn't even put myself out there. Should I say yes??? lmao! This was weird!

[Imaginary]

I would have said yes... if you're comfortable, then I see no problem.

[some-guy101]

ok ty, i am glad I said yes

[Imaginary]

That great, good luck with that