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Poll: Question about "rebound"


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Do you think that, either consciously or subconsciously, people look for the opposite traits in their next bf/gf? For instance if the ex was aloof and independent, would the next one tend to be more clingy and needy (I know those words "clingy" and "needy" connote very negative qualities so feel free to interpret them in a more neutral manner)?

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hi my ex. left me for his first love of 24yrs ago he lives with her now..but to answer your question...she is the same height,weight as me...she is a shy quiet person..like me..oh yeah we lived next door to each other growing up..so you guessed it i know her.. the difference between us...im blonde she dark..im a smoker she isn't....

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Good question and I'm sure you'll get a variety of thoughts on this. I think most people seem to gravitate to a certain type with some consistency behind it. You often read posts where people talk about always falling for the same type over and over. Failed relationships sometimes will jolt some common sense in to what you now see as attractable qualities in a partner. So yes, IMO once you realize what had attracted you initially probably was not healthy for you in the long run.

 

RC

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Probably a combination. There is of course some things you will always be attracted to. (In my case, intelligence, sense of humour and height) These things are not problematical in a relationship, so I would not be looking for a short, serious, dumb guy.

 

However, I would probably avoid like hell any guys who show a hint of what my ex turned out to have - paranoia, lack of empathy, selfishness and anger. First time I hear a swear word used against me, I'm outta there.

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