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Alot happening at once!


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My grandfather passed away yesterday. At least he wont suffer anymore. I've cryed so much yesterday that today I woke up with very small eyes. What creeps me out, is that before yesterday I had a little blackout and I had this vision that my grandfather passed away and then I called a friend to meet up with me. The next day he dies.


The funeral is on Wednesday in Madeira. I'm going after a lot of fighting and crying. My father told me that he couldn't afford the flight there, and so i started treating him in a disrespectful way, because I wanted to see my grandfather for the last time and be with my family and all. Then my mom calls me and starts making me feel guilty for not going. It was the worst night I had. I had horrible thoughts going through my mind, like SI, and stuff. But no, I controlled myself.


Finally I got a reservation, but I seriously hurt my father's feelings, which is not good at all because he does NOT deserve it. And I will probably hurt my mother's feelings because I don't want to stay with her (live with her) during these three days because she will make me feel worst than what I already am. So in other words, I feel like a very, very... very bad person.

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It's right to want to travel and attend your grandfathers funeral.


You obviously feel bad about what you said to your father, when you get back just explain to him that the emotion of the passing of your grandfather was upsetting you and making you say things you didn't necessarily mean. I'm sure he'll understand.

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Hugs tina!


I am sorry to hear about your grandfather,


It's very difficult losing a loved one,


Remember all of the good/happy times you had with him,


Try not to worry too much about your parent's feelings,


And instead work on healing yourself,


I remember when I lost my grandparents,


I wrote poems about them and read them at their funeral,


Although they may not be physically here with you,


They will never leave your heart,


Your grandpa is right there with you smiling at you,






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Im so sorry for your loss. You have every right to want to see your grandfather buried, its normal and healthy.


If you apologize to your father Im sure he will understand just tell him how upset you are about all this and that you didnt mean to lash out to him.


*hugs* you are in my thoughts. I believe that your grandfather is right there with you now.. he allways will be in your heart. Keep the memories and the love close to you.

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