What do i do? Its weighing on my mind HEAVLY

[redneckchild06]

Hey guys...whats going on? well anyways I am posting this cause I have done something over the summer and it has weighed on my mind and i dont know what to do..Well I am a typical teenager...This summer i have partyed like I was meant to die tomorrow. My main goal this summer was to get so messed up that i dont remember anything but good times. Well my mother just recently started do some bad stuff and it has upset me. Well i thought i would get her back by doing something terribly awful. I didnt regret it at the time but now i do. Well i have fooled around with two guys that are twice my age literally and they are way over the Age of Consent. What do i do? i dont want to tell any of my family cause i would be disowned. They already know i am not a virgin but they never thought i would go to this extent....

[Relationship Coach]

Welcome to ENA!

 

Why punish yourself trying to punish your mother? Being used for sex isn't going to make you feel better, it's just one more thing you have to hide from your family. I'm not sure what the problems are between you and your mother but your actions will solve nothing. Partying and getting messed up seems to be your excuse as if it is therapy. You need to talk with someone about what is causing you to act that way. You can't solve problems creating new ones! What has your mother done and why do you feel the need to party the summer away?

 

RC

[itsallgrand]

Hi redneckchild,

 

What's going on with you, hun? Something must be making you pretty dam unhappy if you're wanting to dissolve your mind away in a blur. How do you feel about the fact that you slept with those men - nm how others will react now - did it feel like the right thing for you or did it make you feel bad?

 

RC is right. Sleeping with guys and partying isn't going to solve your problems. You're probably already seeing that now. It just creates more problems!

 

I guess you and your mom have some troubles communicating, maybe hard to talk to her? What is she like?

 

As for the rest of your family...is there anyone who you trust and feel you can talk to who will listen without 'disowning you' or anything silly like that?

I've thought in the past my actions would get me disowned, but telling the truth really only resulted in someone getting very angry. After the anger simmered down, then we started talking. The person cared for me and just wanted to see me do well.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

I agree with RC, what you have been doing is kind of like cutting off your nose to spite your face. If you want to show your mom something, then show her by excelling in either school, sports, or some healthy activity. Partying can be fun, but in the long run it can really take you off the path to happiness. Also, those guys are definitely taking advantage of you. You need to try to show that you respect yourself and your body and are not going to let just any old guy come around and paw at you.

[redneckchild06]

my mom has gotten off to a bad start when we moved to this new town. She just is repeating her past that was 6 years ago. She has hooked up with bad people and has started doing drugs again (ex. meth, coke, crank) and so on. My relationship with her is okay we can talk sometimes but when it cracks down to something like this she totally flips out. Since the whole meth thing she has various mood swings she will be a down right * * * * * then its to being happy and then she will just pass out and not wake up until the next night. I cant talk to her, about the only thing i can talk to is my best friend(hes a guy and understands) my horse and myself. When this happened i didnt feel bad at all what can i say i was messed up(of course i didnt feel bad) but now i am scared because one of the guys ran around telling his friends that he messed with me...and he is goin to get in trouble if he dont watch out. so that is what it all cracks down to. And not to mention I just started to a guy that i dated a long time ago and thats one of few things that is making me happy.... please respond confused

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

Well I understand that you are getting messed up so not to think about the negative things that are going on in your homelife, but trust me it is not the answer. You need to find better ways like we've suggested to deal with the unhappiness. Is there an afterschool activity or club you can go to with supervision?

 

Also regarding that guy blabbing. That is what will happen when you fool around with guys, like it or not. Whether it's fair or not, your reputation will be destroyed by it, while his will probably be bolstered. Is that what you want your body to be used for? To bolster some yahoo's reputation?

[Tigris]

It has nothing to do with them so keep it to yourself.

 

We all make mistakes. It sounds like you've learnt a valuable lesson. You're punishing yourself enough without telling them and being punished again.

 

Leave it locked away in your past and put it down to experience and move on.

[Relationship Coach]

Your mom needs help not trouble! Has your mom been in a program before? You need stability in your life or you will continue to make mistakes like this. How old are you?

 

RC