I Don't Think I'm Healing

[Beaker5]

Hi Guys, It's me again. Guys...I really don't know what's wrong with me. Here's a recap:

 

1. He dumped me around May 21st and completely stopped talking to me but I would still go online and put up away messages about love and getting back together and stuff like that and I was just waiting..

 

2. I found out on Myspace that he had been cheating on around June 18 and I just stopped going on AIM EVER alltogether and I threw away everything of his and I deleted all of my myspace pictures of him and put that I am "single" and set up my profile to private.

 

3. I went through the crying for over a week and saw the school therapist so I think I've already gone through the mourning period AND I never checked his myspace profile again. I did NO CONTACT completely.

 

4. I stopped crying eventually but still thought about him and I still had nightmares but it was getting better....

 

BUT THEN, about two days ago, I accidently stumbled upon his myspace picture and just the sight of his picture broke me down. (I didn't click on it to see his profile). GUYS...I don't know what to do....If I was really healing, then why would I break down like that after all of this time and have a horrible relapse. Am I healing the right way? Am I doing something wrong? Please help me and tell me because I want to get to the point where I don't care anymore. ](*,)

[theproman23]

Well first of all everyone takes sifferent amount of time to heal. Also it depends on how long you went out. It's been about 3 months since you broke up. I say give it more time and do things you enjoy. Breaking up is'nt easy by any means. You should be proud that you did NO CONTACT. That's the best way to heal. Even putting away messages that say you love him and stuff like that is breaking NC so don't do that. Cut him completely out of your life. Go out and have fun and believe me I am only 22 and there's a lot more out there then we dare to think of. You'll be ok, Just keep posting here when you need to talk or someone to listen to you.

[rose2summer]

You need to stay off of his myspace page. Hey if you want, you can use my page in replacement of his, and look at mine instead (as boring as it is), ha ha! We all heal at different rates. You may not actually miss him specifically but just having someone in your life. I know I was upset my ex was going jetskiing this weekend, and he knows I love to, but I didn't miss him, just the jetskiis. So, figure out if it's him you actually miss or just the loss of him.

[Bethany]

It's just a little set back, don't let it ruin the whole 'picture' for you. Although this has happened, be proud of your achievements so far. You are working hard and were doing so well, be proud. You will get back to where you were again, all is not lost, I promise. It's just a little bump in the road of recovery.It takes time to complete a journey, just hold on tight. pretty soon this will fade into the distance and the future will look brighter than it's ever been.

[brando]

Beaker

it is all part of the process. As the others have said there is no time frame to get through a breakup. You will heal when you are ready.

 

Just get out there and live your life the best you can right now. When thoughts of your ex come to mind, try to just release them and not dwell on them.

 

You will get their.

 

Sometimes As Rose2 suggested we dont miss the person, we miss that companionship. SO when feeling a bit better you can try dating, being in the presense of the opposite sex may help. I am not suggesting a relationship, but getting out and having fun.

 

be well,

brando

[Beaker5]

Thanks theproman23 and thanks rose2summer. You guys are great. Also, rose2summer...what's your myspace page? lol...And you're probably right about me missing the things I used to do with him. One of the things I loved most about him is that he was soooo funny. I miss laughing at his jokes. Like so many things remind me of him and I remember every little thing that I enjoyed with him. It just sucks. I'm sure he's making HER laugh now. ugh.

[rose2summer]

Beaker, I am PMing my myspace page to you. Put me where you had his profile and I can put in my profile NO CONTACT BEAKER, ha ha! I have it set to private so my ex doesn't find me on there, he has been searching from what I have been told, so add me to your friends and it will make my profile show up.

[Beaker5]

Thanks bethany and brando...You guys are all so wonderful (everyone at at ENA is). I'd probably be dead right now if I didn't have you guys. Imean...no one really wants to listen to someone complain or mope or whatever..but you guys actually care. Thanks for everything.

[rose2summer]

Beaker, I am not going to let you look at his profile anymore!

[Beaker5]

lmao...THANKS!!!

[annie24]

Beaker

it is all part of the process. As the others have said there is no time frame to get through a breakup. You will heal when you are ready.

 

Just get out there and live your life the best you can right now. When thoughts of your ex come to mind, try to just release them and not dwell on them.

 

You will get their.

 

Sometimes As Rose2 suggested we dont miss the person, we miss that companionship. SO when feeling a bit better you can try dating, being in the presense of the opposite sex may help. I am not suggesting a relationship, but getting out and having fun.

 

be well,

brando

 

I agree. just keep on going, there is no timeframe for how long it takes to get over someone. it isn't always a linear process either. you may feel great, and then suddenly see his picture or him on the street, and you feel like you are back to square 1. well, you're not. it just takes while to heal.

 

keep on going!

[theproman23]

Lot of sensible things by many wonderful people here. I know it might be hard to see it but it definetly has a lot to do with missing the campanionship then the person. The healing you've done so far is letting of him but not the healing has to make new memories be it with friends, family or someone else special. Just hang in there and believe me there's always someone to listen. You might feel like your friends don't want to listen to you but the truth if they are a good friend no matter what you're going through they'll be there. But we'll always defiently be here. Goodluck.

 

P.S. You should make a list of all the things you wanted to do, want to do and have not done in a while and take a couple of days each to do them. They could very minor things to major things like taking a trip. Just make yourself happy first and believe me you're well on your way to recovery, youre doing good and keep it up.

[blemished]

I think it helps to view who you were in the relationship as someone different than you are now. You might miss the companionship...IF you are still the same person. My ex left almost 5 months ago, and I feel like a different person now than I was then, and I categorize it as "years ago" (when we first met). I stumbled accross photos of us together from 2003 tonight and I didn't blink an eye-- I thought of the people in them as other people, not myself, and not someone I know intimately-- but myself as a kid and someone I once knew (a person who disappeared). Perhaps you should start thinking of your ex as some person from your childhood. It's sad, but at least some sadness for what has passed is better than mourning for what is now not. I hope that makes sense. Hang in there.

[No Spaces Rob]

hello beaker,

 

I am not a myspace kind of guy but I can definitely relate to everything else you said.

 

What's important is how you feel about yourself. I think you are doing well if you are not blaming yourself for what happened. I think you are also doing well if you don't care what he thinks anymore. Now is the time to be self-centered

 

I really wish I could make things better for you. I feel as if I am in a similar situation myself.

 

There were lots of times when I thought the pain was all over but then something else brought it back.

 

Each time that happens it will be easier to manage. Time will make things good.