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found out ex was cheating on me


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I dated this guy for a year. We broke up 8 months ago and are still friends. Before we got together he was seeing this girl for 3 months then she moved far away. He told me that he did not maintain contact with her, even though she wrote him and called him sometimes. I believed him. While we were still together and things weren't going well I snooped in his email ( I know, I know, but things were good because of his vagueness) and found many long emails from her detailing her down to what she ate for breakfast. I ( probably bad move) put it down to her being quite crazy for thinking they still have a relationship.

 

Fast forward to yesterday I was at his house for a dinner and saw a postcard from her to him on the fridge. It is obvious to me now that he never told her that he had started seeing someone else. The whole year we were together he never mentioned to her that he was seeing someone else! He perpetuated the idea that they still had something by not telling her. I feel that he was cheating the whole time.

 

It seems very belated and after the fact but I am mad as hell and I cannot stomach the idea of being friends with this person. What I am torn about is whether to confront the lying bastard over email, in person or just cut him off completely and wait till this anger vents itself.

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I would cut him off, calm down, and if he contacts YOU, then talk about it and find out what is going on. If you feel he is still lying. tell him you are not interested because you found out that you were lied too the entire relationship...and friends have to be honest with one another too.

 

I feel sorry for that girl too, if this is the case.

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thanks, you always give good advice. Thing is we see each other quite regularly, same group of friends. I just cannot stomach the thought of sitting at the same table with him.

 

yeah... time to end that friendship. Hard to be buddy buddy with someone you cant stomach being around. Just tell him so.

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