Confused!

[Ms. Babydoll]

Hi all, I'm Katz and I'm 13 years old, I've just joined this forum in seek of help with my 4 month relationship to my boyfriend Alex.

 

When I first met Alex we started off as friends and slowly our feelings for one another grew stronger. Within 2-3 months of knowing each other we began dating. We've been together for nearly 5 months now and things are going good but I can't help but have certain feelings that stress me out and make me emotional.

 

Lately it seems Alex hasn't been bothered finding time for me. Just the other day we spent an afternoon together out and about with his friend Simon. Alex didn't even bother to hold my hand, kiss me goodbye or even hug me the entire time. I felt sick inside, I had this feeling in my gut telling me he was still not over th whole kissing in public thing and that he is beginning to slowly lose interest in me.

 

Then today I asked him if he wanted to spend the afternoon with me once school ended and he told me he was busy and had to walk to his friend place to pick up his mp3 player. I did my best to look un-phased by his excuse but once school ended I felt like a mess. I headed to the field alone and sat down and tried my best to hold back my tears. I looked over to the alleyway where Alex goes through to get home (because he lives close to the school) and I saw him near it kicking a ball around with his friends Conor and Aaron.

 

This made me more upset, knowing that he'd rather spend time with his boys than with me. Our relationship used to be so alive and passionate and I miss that, I can't help but wonder what ever happened!

 

I need advice on how to win back the heart of the man I love, because right now I feel as though he doesn't care about me.

 

Can anyone help me please?

[ButterflyWrists]

ur only 13, ur normally out with friends, he's probably too afraid of 'comitment' give him his space, go out with friends, and let things get back together, don't force them to work out.

[NKP]

Yeh your only 13 yous are stil very young and hes a guy and guys love hanging out with there mates instead of there girlfriend. Or you could try talk to him tell him what is wrong or else he will never know your upset

 

Take care,

kita

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

My suggestion is to branch yourself out more, even though that's the opposite of what you probably want to do right now. Meet new friends, take up new activities, etc. This would be more likely to make him come around than you persuing him more.

[Swimbaby]

You're smothering him way too much. Most people don't like to be around someone 24/7. There's so much more to a relationship than holding hands and hugging. Don't be so stuck on the superficial parts of the relationship to miss the good parts - having found someone you can talk to one-on-one and share you life with. Obviously neither of you are ready for a commitment to eachother, but it's still somethign to keep in mind. Maybe you should go out and spend some time with your friends. A lot of people at your age get so stuck on having a boyfriend that they lose their friends in the process because all they want to do is spend time with their "significant others" when really that's hindering your relationship with not only that person, but your friends as well.

[robowarrior]

Your totally in love, not with a man but with a boy. And for 13 years old its perfectly normal to still like to play ball, computergames, mp3. For him the whole odeal might not be half as serious as it is for you. However you have to understand that he is also new to relationships and does not know how to correctly deal with your feelings in a mature way. This is what is causing the lack of attention and understanding of what this all is doing to you.

 

A guy doesn't have a crystal ball, to understand your feelings. More then that, guys are far less emotionally orientated then girls are. Meaning that most likely he might not be half as conserned about your feelings or lack of attention as you are, heck he might not even know you have a problem at all. This is why you have to COMMUNICATE. Guys are straight forward, so complain to him directly in his face and tell him what the problem is. Not in a fighting manner, but just tell him that you have needs that need to be forfilled, that you have times that you need him to hold your hand, to hug you , to kiss you and what not. If you make this clear to him, then at least he can try to improve the situation instead of letting you rot, i do want to state tho that he has the right to also spend time with his friends, you have to claim certain that you have with him for yourself.

[FoxLocke]

Sweetie, you are just 13. You may not be able to deal with the pressures of a committed relationship. Perhaps the two of you should just date casually and have fun...

You have your best years ahead of you.

[Ms. Babydoll]

can everyone push aside the fact that I'm only 13? IMO age makes no difference, nobody is to young to fall in love.

 

robowarrior your advice really helped, I'm taking in mind everything you said! Thanks!