Wonderful date; what went wrong?

[penda]

Hi,

I met a guy online about a month ago. We sem to hit off nicely, so we we decided to meet each other on a date. He doesn't have much experience dating and he has never made it to the relationship stage before. He even lacks sexual experience. Well on the first date, I was the one extremely nervous. My date didn't want me to be nervous, but I guess I wanted to make a good impression. Anyway I opened up to him later on. I even kissed him a few times before we parted. The second date was much better and relaxing. I felt like we so much chemistry. He held my hand, kissed me several times, and was very affectionate. I could tell that he enjoyed my company. We even set a date for this weekend. I suggested that I stay over Saturday night so we could spend more time together (we are about 2 hours apart, plus we have busy schedules during the week and up and coming). Before the date ended, we kissed and hugged each other for a long while.

 

Well after long consideration, I decided not to stay over night, because I didn't want to chance us having sex to soon. The next night, I called him to tell him the news and he met me with the news that he felt our relationship was not working and he wanted to be friends. He said he was concerned that our relationship was just physical (the most we ever done was french kiss) and the we didn't have much in common (i thought we had a few things in common). Plus he felt like when we talked it was all about work and random things. I try to explain to him that our dating isn't just physical chemistry and that I sincerely liked him, and that we don't have to share the same exact interest to get along. If a couple really cares about each other, they find a way to meet half way. However, he was set in mind that this is what he had to. Now I'm pretty crushed and confused. I know he had feelings for me. Why would he do something like that when we hit it off so well during our date? Everything seem to come out of left field.

[annie24]

well... life is strange sometimes. who knows what went through his head. either way, he made his decision, and you can't really have a rational conversation, trying to convince someone that they should continue dating you if he says the chemistry is off. (trust me, I've tried to have that conversation, and it just doesn't work

 

If a couple really cares about each other, they find a way to meet half way.

 

For committed couples with a lot of history, yes. However, if they don't feel the right chemistry within the first few dates, then there is no reason to keep trying. the match just isn't there.

 

For whatever reason, he decided you two weren't a match. Be thankful he told you now, rather than months or years down the road, after you slept with him. Cut your losses. NEXT!

 

EDIT: hm. he's never had a relationship, eh? I wonder if he doesn't do this everytime he's met a new girl - come up with some reason why it isn't right to continue.... would explain a lot.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

EDIT: hm. he's never had a relationship, eh? I wonder if he doesn't do this everytime he's met a new girl - come up with some reason why it isn't right to continue.... would explain a lot.

 

Yeah, some guys have real intimacy issues. He could possibly be one of them. Or it could be you two just didn't have the right chemistry. The fact he's never had a relationship though makes me think it's the former. Either way, your best off to walk away.

 

Someone told me once a relationship should be like parking a car in a garage. You shouldn't have to modify the garage, and you shouldn't have to remove your side-view mirrors. It should just fit, just right.