Drawing the Line

[ktregjf]

I've had a best-friend for about 2 years now. Back in our hometown we were inseperable. Where there was smoke there was fire, where she was I was. We had fun doing the most unfun things. We became such close friends we decided to move up to college together... Then things went downhill

 

So here I sit in a new town, the only friend I have is her until I start classes, but it's not like I want her around 100% of the time. So after about 3 weeks, we still had not hung out once, gone out exploring, she just went out or sat in her room etc. So I was like, "Okay, I suppose she wants her space." So I buzzed off, I started at a new job and hung out in my room and rented a lot of movies from Blockbuster for the next week.

 

Then she starts being cold to me after a week. Dirty looks, cold statements, the whole shebang without directly confronting me (which she usually did). So at this point, I was infuriated, I did nothing. So at a point I sat her down once SHE had time and was like what's going on. "I don't want you on my * * * all the time, you're always around me." First of, I obviously wasn't and secondly, we live 5 feet from eachother (literally) what do you expect? I didn't say that. She goes on... I'm "clingy" and "needy" she doesn't feel like bothering with me anymore etc. Some pretty hurtful things.

 

I'm still sitting there quiet, feeling like crap because she's making me sound like a bad friend, when I honestly did nothing. I keep listening. This is where it got bad. She said that someone asked her, "Why do you put up with her?" and then she continued to say, "I should be honored she even wants me around" Okay, insult to injury there... big time. I am 5 years younger than her, but it hadn't been an issue the entire year we were best friends. So between that, and treating me like a child, I'm fed up. I don't know what else to say to her.

 

I've asked her several times if she would like to hang out. There's no more time. I just feel pushed out. She's distant and cold, she even admitted it, she's "like that in a new city" So where should I draw the line in this friendship, I'm a doormat, I let her walk all over me and I'm sick of it. Expressing any anger toward her just results in her going off on me, which kills me. I don't know what else I can do, especially when I live with her. I'm tired of talking because I'm always the one messing up

 

What do I do next?

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

She sounds kind of unstable. First you all are best friends for a solid year, then as soon as you move towns, she can't hardly stand being around you. I say you should completely ignore her as if you were never friends, just roomates and nothing more. Go hang out at school, hang out at the library, whatever. And DONT ask her if she'll hang out with you, don't even mention what you're doing, as she'll probably twist that around that you're 'clinging' to her.

[BornToResist]

I agree with iamteddybear. Another thing that stuck out to me is the fact that she's talking about you behind your back!

 

She said that someone asked her, "Why do you put up with her?"

 

What exactly is she saying, and why? She has no reason to talk behind your back, you did nothing.

 

You're in college, get out and make new friends. I know you can do it. There are tons of people there who are actually worth your time, and she obviously isn't.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

I agree --that says she is for sure trying to damage your reputation. You should no longer consider her your best friend. The real question is more likely, why do you put up with her?